This is an old book from the 70s. I ran across it while browsing the internet. It has some very interesting content on both business and dating. what do you guys think about the following excerpt?

This Hardy sounds like quite a character.

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[b][size=large]Tactic 4: The Essence of Manipulation[/size][/b]

[size=large][b]"I DON'T NEED YOU. YOU NEED ME:[/b][/size]

HARDY BLEW INTO Houston, Texas, chasing the easy money that flooded the town during the 1973 oil boom. Being the ultimate con artist, he had never sustained a full month of work in his life. All of his jobs were punctuated with periods of drunkenness when he failed to show up. Needless to say, Hardy's working habits didn't lend themselves to a great deal of job security. And as a result he'd bounced around and sold just about everything: stock, land, cars, and various and sundry items house-to-house.

Intemperance more often saps geniuses than it does lesser lights, and I believe this was Hardy's problem. After all, he could only be called a genius as a manipulator. Many times I've seen him work one week at a selling job and make more than any of his fellow workers earned in a month.

For instance, during the last full week I saw him put in, he made almost $2,000 in commissions before getting fired for hitting the bottle. Sober, he could manipulate the meanest man into following him around like a puppy in a matter of minutes.

Only a few days after we met, I invited him to share my apartment, because we could fill each other's needs. He needed a place to crash when he was drunk, and I needed someone to teach me the art of manipulation.

During the months we lived together, he taught me more about handling people than I had learned in all my previous years combined. And despite the fact that he took me for a few hundred dollars, I would still say that Hardy pretty closely embodies the "conman with a heart of gold" idea. The knowledge he patiently imparted to me has proven of far greater value

than the amount he cost me.

The last time I saw my friend, he was trying to con a rich woman into marrying him. He got drunk and disappeared shortly after that, and I haven't heard from him since. But the tactics he taught stayed with

me and serve as the mainstay of this book.

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The "I don't need you" state of mind[/b][/i]

The most essential of the tactics he taught me amounts to a state of mind that largely determines the success or failure of a manipulator. The entire time you engage a person in manipulation, you must subtly convey the idea that "I don't need you; need me." This is the essence of handling people. You tilt the bargaining table your way the minute you let the other person get wind of your independent attitude.

This tactic applies to your love life as surely as it does to your business activities. For instance, I've already mentioned that Hardy used the "I don't need you" ruse on women. And he applied it so smoothly that he confidently paid for a motel room before he entered a bar to pick up women. It never occurred to him that he might strike out. And to the best of my knowledge, he almost never did. I doubt that any of the money he paid in advance for a room was ever wasted.

Women, however, should bear in mind that this tactic works both ways. And many a woman has also manipulated men by adopting the "I don't need you; you need me" stance.

Hardy described the tactic this way: "The person with the upper hand in any situation is the one who can afford to walk away from the deal if it's not to his liking, or the one who can make the other person think he can walk away. Make him think that you don't need him, but that he needs you. The man who can't do this won't get what he wants out of a deal."

A very good psychological reason exists for the power of this tactic. Being human, we act very stubborn when we sense that someone needs something from us. This instinct is etched into every person's psyche. If your manipulatee senses that you need him to do things your way, his marrow-deep instincts scream, "Don't do it!" He sets his mental brakes, and

almost nothing short of ramming him with a Greyhound bus can move him from his obstinate position.

But if you can make him believe that you don't need him to do things your way nearly as badly as he needs it, you've put his human nature on your side. Now he thinks he wants what you're proposing. So his instincts prick his ears up and make him receptive to your ideas. By exploiting this human weakness, you can control him nearly like a puppet.

Remember, never give the slightest hint of desperation; instead, radiate confidence and independence. Show your antagonist how he needs what you propose, and indicate that it makes little difference to you which way he decides. Subtly convey that if his terms aren't to your liking, you can simply walk away from the deal-even when this isn't really the case. If you smooth-talk him into this state of mind, he'll usually want to do things your way as much as you do.

[i][b]How this tactic applies to your love life[/b][/i]

[align=center]

"Women may not whistle the tune as often, but

they need the sheet music almost as bad as men do.

They're just smarter than men about gettin' it."

(Hardy)[/align]

I've heard Hardy say many times that women carry on the biggest con game of them all in the bedroom. "Hell, they keep men pawing all over 'em by pretending they don't need sex. They make men want it by acting like they don't. It's all a slick con."

Close examination of women's sexual behavior does indicate that women often use the "I don't need you" tactic. They most naturally fall into the "I don't need you" sexual pattern because of a don't even-think-about-it sexual upbringing, coupled with a fear of being hurt. This leads most women to discourage men's first advances. As a result, they un nowingly mimic the "I don't need you" technique with devastating effects, simply by spurning men's

overtures.

When a woman turns down a man's sexual advances, it usually ignites his human nature because it implies, "I don't need you." He begins to crave what he thinks he can't have. (Remember, "People want what they cannot have" is the strongest law of human nature.) By simply following these natural sexual patterns, women can make men into drooling puppets.

[i]Turning the tables

[/i]

The shrewd man, after sizing up this situation, turns the tables and exploits human nature himself, instead of playing the dupe. He discards the customary male predator role that undercuts most men. This aggressive stalking gives away the man's need. And . human nature decrees that the moment a woman senses that someone needs her sexually, she usually screeches on her mental brakes. As long as the male's pursuit betrays his need, women play coy-dispensing their favors sparingly.

But when the tables are turned via the manipulation of her human nature, the woman can be led to assume the predator role. If they're handled right, women will become the aggressors. After all, they do feel the sex drive almost as strongly as men do.

And in addition to this need for sex, American society implants in women a strong need to have their sexual attractiveness affirmed. Men provide this vote of confidence by chasing them constantly.

Once a man begins to act uninterested in sex with a woman, he tells her subtly, "I don't need you." At first this only sparks a woman's curiosity because few men on the prowl behave this way. But her mild consternation quickly turns to panic if his cool sexual behavior continues.

Suddenly her human nature is touched off. Now she thinks he doesn't need her. So instinct makes her itch for what she feels she can't have. She begins to doubt her own sexual attractiveness. With her human nature stirred up, she jumps into the sexual-stalker role.

By feigning a lack of concern for sex with a woman at the start of the relationship, a man immediately tilts the balance of power in his favor. With her instincts aroused, she'll make the opening moves to satisfy her sex need and to affirm her attractiveness. So by tampering with human nature, the man restructures the typical man-woman relationship. He places the need in the woman's corner. Now, to a large extent, the man can dispense his favors at will.

However, when the subject is switched from sex to marriage, women often backslide from the shrewd manhandlers to the dupes, while men naturally emerge as the manipulators. Why? Women usually feel the strongest need for marriage because of social pressure from parents, relatives, and friends. On the other hand, many men see it as a restriction of their freedom.

Because they usually want to get married more than men, women openly demonstrate their need. And sensing this need, a man's human nature throws on the mental brakes.

But when a woman plays her hand cleverly, she completely turns things around. By using the "I don't need you" technique and indicating that "I'd still like to play around awhile," she stirs his human instincts. Now he's beginning to think she doesn't need marriage, and he wonders where he stands with her. Suddenly he's insisting that "I believe it's time to settle down and marry." She then concedes "reluctantly."

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