We get a lot of flack over our popular acronym “AWALT” – All Women Are Like That. It’s a great reminder, every time we’re surprised by how slutty a girl is, every time a woman lies, manipulates, and cheats, every time a woman leaves a man at his worst, and every time a woman leaves a man who gave her the world.
It’s an offensive phrase. Because it brazenly proclaims that all women (not some, not a few skanks, not even most, but all – every single one of them) are “like that.” We could argue semantics by pointing out that “like that” doesn’t necessarily mean “is that,” but instead means, “approximates that” or “trends in that direction.” But come on. We mean she’s really like that. All women, given the right circumstances, will slut, lie, cheat, and/or leave. And what constitutes the “right circumstances” is pretty much the same for every woman: Being a loser. Women hate losers. Everyone hates losers. The big difference between one woman and the next isn’t whether she’s like that, or what makes her act like that. It’s her threshold. Different women will tolerate different amounts of loser for different amounts of time before they break.
Some will have tolerance and patience that exceed the tolerance and patience of other women. But every woman has her threshold. Cross that, and she’ll be “like that.” It can manifest differently. Some will never cheat on you – they’ll just leave. Some will never leave – they’ll just cheat on you. Some won’t do either, at least at first, but they’ll start to resent you and treat you poorly. There are different colors of “like that.” But all women do it. All women are like that.
Really, we overcomplicate this thing. What does “All Women Are Like That” really mean? It means that if you don’t measure up, a woman will lose her respect for you. All women, all the time, will lose respect for you if you’re a loser. That’s not so offensive. It’s downright logical.
And a woman who loses her respect for you will treat you poorly, dump you, cheat on you, or any combination of the above. Not all women do all of those at exactly the same threshold of loser-dom. But all women have the potential to do any of those, in any order, depending on what their threshold is. All women will lose respect for you if you suck. And no woman, anywhere, is going to say, “Well, my boyfriend suddenly started sucking and became a total loser, but because we’re already in a committed relationship, I’m going to stay with him forever, never cheat, never leave, and continue to treat him with the utmost respect, no matter how big of a loser he becomes or how long this goes on.” Because there are no exceptions. All women are like that.
The far more offensive part of AWALT, however, doesn’t come up in discussion nearly as often: Women are malleable sheep. A woman’s threshold for loser-dom, and what constitutes the right circumstances to make her “like that,” are completely fluid.
You can be a little bit of a loser, and your girl might be okay with that for a long time. You might have a great relationship until something changes – something that’s not you. Your girl’s social circle might start badmouthing you. Or your girl might get a shot at another man.
Suddenly, her threshold changes, and what does and doesn’t constitute a loser in her eyes changes. Maybe your hobbies and your appearance and clothes and the way you act was fine by her until her friends started making fun of her for dating you. Maybe your devotion and love of cuddling was cute and charming until she met a hawt d-bag last night who tried to take her home.
Suddenly, she realizes she’s not happy and you’re a loser. You didn’t change. Her perception did. She moved the goalposts on you. On herself. A woman’s threshold changes based on her circumstances. If she has other options, her tolerance for anything less than the ideal from you is far less.
Some might see that as opportunism, but really, it’s not that conscious. She really was happy five minutes ago. She didn’t know there was anything to be unhappy about until she realized she was losing social status and that you were holding her back from getting fucked by a better man. Before then, she was great.
AWALT isn’t just a reminder or warning. It’s like a battle cry, reminding you to always be on the upward trend. To always be the best. And to always become better. Because if you’re anything less, you’ll lose respect.
AWALT is also our comfort. There’s always someone better, and always just the right circumstances. Maybe your woman will surprise you by demonstrating a greater tolerance than you thought she had, but if she doesn’t, and you know you did your best, and were the best version of yourself possible AWALT. Shit happens. She’s not yours. It’s just your turn. Or if things were beyond your control – you lost your job, you got sick, you were injured, you experienced a death of a loved one, and your woman left the weak man you became – AWALT. Shit happens.
AWALT is exactly what our detractors want. AWALT should be a feminist cornerstone. Don’t expect things from women. Don’t hold them to standards. They’re going to do whatever they want. Accept it. It’s their right to do what they want, and if you expect them to do certain things for you in exchange for things you do, that’s entitled male privilege. You need to check that privilege and remember AWALT.