The Hardest Part Of The Journey To Winning

From The Social Lifestyle

"Which part of the journey to your first million dollars was the hardest for you?"

Not too long ago, I was having a chat with my longtime friend and mentor, Sid, about his journey to success. I wouldn't say I'm at a low point in my life, but after weeks of non-stop expansion, I find myself losing the drive to push on. The road to success is long and arduous and I need some sense knocked into me and someone who is there to manage my expectations.

Earlier on, he told me a story about one of the lowest times in his journey that was kind of a wake up call for me. One day he was walking alone around town, feeling melancholic, and he saw a guy come out of a super car. He approached the guy and asked him this one question: "Was it worth it?" In his mind, he needed someone to tell him that it was worth it. That he was chasing a worthwhile cause.

Many times I find myself asking the same question, "Is all of this worth it?" Our lives are but a flicker, here one moment and gone the next. We are on but a tiny rock circling the tiniest of stars. What great purpose can we accomplish. Is any of it worth it? Hearing his story gave me a flicker of hope. He did not divulge what the guy told him or how the conversation continued. He said it was a secret that only he would know.

And that was when I asked him the question at the opening of this article.

"Which part of the journey...?"

Rather than answering my question, he told me several instances of when he felt he had hit rock bottom and almost gave up. And that if he followed through with the decision to just abandon his path, he would not have been where he is today.

Which made me think: whether you belief in determinism or free will, time goes on and we still do things. And every action has a reaction which ripples on and affects where we will be in the future. His answer hit me hard because I was here now. My current situation was the result of him not giving up at the moment. Who knows who else will feel the same about me in the future? I owe it to myself not to forsake my path and to push on.

As usual, there were lessons I took away from the conversation--lessons that I needed in order to move up to the next level.

Build Good Habits

To put it harshly, most people around you are not worth your time. The reason why poor people remain poor is because they refuse to leave their shitty circumstances. We are the result of our habits, if you help a man who is in debt pay it off, it's not going to solve the problem. Unfortunately, people these days do charity or philanthropy to help the poor--when they themselves are not able to support themselves. It's exactly the case of giving others fish instead of teaching them to fish.

Sid told me how people would just come up to him to ask him for money to pay their debts just because he has the means. And when he refuses them, they think he's an asshole. They just don't understand. People think that "If I were rich, I would donate to charity." But why? Why would you deny someone the ability to build positive habits and pull themselves out of their own shit? It's like giving a gambler money to pay off his debts: he will still fall back into the same habits.

I'm not saying it's easy, but it's possible--and every day we make decisions that affect our futures. I would be the first to admit I don't make the best decisions. Especially after hearing his journey, I realized the amount of effort I put into developing myself is nothing compared to what he put himself through in order to get to where he is today. Near-sleepless nights working on his craft six days a week. How many of us can say we are willing to put in that amount of effort in order to succeed? I sure as hell am not, even though I want to.

Cut Away Bullshit

That means people who hold you back and activities that waste your time.

There was a period of time when Sid totally disappeared from the group. That was when he was working his ass off to master his craft. I wasn't very close to him back then but for two years he literally went MIA.

However, when he came back, he had done it. He had done all he had to do and now he was back to help us get to where he is. He cut through the forest, made his own trial, and came back for us. Most people would see it as abandonment, but at that point he probably knew we weren't ready to move ahead yet. And he had to make the decision to go ahead without us.

The path ahead was harsh, and that's why he had to be harsh as well. This meant being an "asshole" to many people who he knew would never understand the journey. Many people are often stuck in that superficial pettiness of everyday life. Even seemingly harmless things like meeting friends for dinner and "catching up" seemed like a waste of time. That was how brutal he had to be. Gossip and trivialities were totally cut out of his life, and he focused on what he had to do: achieve mastery.

That means estranged relationships, and being "misunderstood" by people. But did it matter? No. He had to do what he had to do.

The road to success has no space for bullshit. You have to give your 100%. He took one year to reach his first goal, which is way faster than I expected. But he was a prime example of the 10,000-hour rule. For someone who did not come from exceptional circumstance or with innate talents, he achieved more than anyone can imagine through sheer hard work and by cutting away any nonsense from his life.

One Step At A Time

Scar introduced a book to me titled "The One Thing". It's a short but really, really good read that champions the idea of extreme focus on doing the ONE thing that will take you closer to your goals. Have a destination, then break it down from what do I have to accomplish this month, to this week, to today, to right now. What do I have to do right now that will kick start the chain of events to get me closer to my ONE goal--the one goal that will make everything else easier or unnecessary.

Hearing Sid's story, I realized he did exactly just that. He cut out everything that was unnecessary and sacrificed a lot to give him the time to focus on that ONE thing that would get him to his goal. He aimed big, and is still shooting for it. We waste a lot of our lives dividing our attention and focusing on checking items off our to-do lists so we can sleep at night. We don't give our 100% to whatever we're doing, our minds always on something else, whether it's Facebook, or the girls we're texting, or other inane stuff.

I would admit I am doing that as well. I don't have the luxury to easily drop everything and focus on the one thing I enjoy doing--which is game--but I wouldn't say I don't have a choice. After reading the book, I look at my life and I realized that even if I fill my schedule with school, work, dates, and friends, I don't feel much closer to my goal consistently every day.

It's something that I have to work out and change, and hopefully you, too, will see the value on focusing on the one thing, cutting bullshit out of your life, and building positive habits to project yourself on the right trajectory.

The journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step, but the first step in the wrong direction will turn you two thousand miles away from your goals.

Take the first step in the right direction.