Women are already telling you everything you need to hear. You just aren’t listening.

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The road to Camelot.

For decades I would hear men complain about how they can’t figure out women. For most of those years, I agreed with them. The problem is that women are pretty clear on how to figure them out. Men just refuse to accept it. It took over 45 years on this planet to realize Legal Cohabiting Female (LCF) was an absolute firehose of truth for the past two decades. I did not drink until I had to wash down the pill. Now, I’m not saying that women give us hints about them. Yes, they do that all the time. I’m saying they outright say the words.

I have spoken at length about my many years with LCF. In this post I will share some of the absolute bullshit truth that I rejected and how it got me to where I am today. However a little background first would be helpful.

From my perspective, our marriage was a lark; I didn’t think either of us thought it would last. (I’m starting to think her purposes were more nefarious, but that’s not important now). She got pregnant quickly and then Dr Jekyll made her appearance—cue every shitty behavior you can read about on MRP. I supplicated and she took control of the roost, and predictably sex mostly disappeared. This is textbook stuff and lasted for about five years. The sex itself wasn’t very good from the beginning, but she was incredibly hot and I was happy enough just to pump a load in her and leave it at that. Most women would let me do whatever the hell I wanted to them, but she wouldn’t to the point of freaking out if I tried anything outside of the norm. I made a grave mistake of confusing this for her being more virtuous than all those other women, instead of realizing that she just was not super into me.

Now on to a small sampling of the the truth she fed me.

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The first truth: “I want better sex.”

After not having even touched her in months she said those exact words to me. Um, ok. So I started initiating frequently. She would be agreeable. I fell into a routine of eating her out, sticking my dick in her for a half hour and then finishing her off by hand. Any attempt to do anything else and she would resist vigorously. She wasn’t saying she wanted more sex. She said she wanted better sex. The big problem with this is she was not attracted to me enough to agree to better sex. Nevertheless, sex was still pretty frequent for a couple months until we needed to move to another state.

Then things got weird. One night she did something she never did before—she spontaneously gave me an eager blowjob and swallowed, despite jizz being an apparent form of kryptonite to her. Wot? And then she insisted I hunt her down and forcibly mount her from behind. A couple nights later she wanted to stand in front of each other while her masturbated. The list goes on but this renaissance had three big problems: 1) only her ideas were acceptable, never mine, 2) we never did the same thing twice, and 3) it abruptly ended after a couple months…. about the same time she invited a “mutual” friend we met from an IRC channel to visit.

You see, I knew she was talking to people online, but I thought it was just play. No, it was serious business and these relationships were far more advanced than I realized. Years later I finally realized that was happening. She was not getting better sex from me; she was practicing her ideas of better sex on me before getting it from other guys.

Protip: if a woman suddenly changes her sexual behavior, something is up. Unless you have made significant progress on your attractiveness, she’s got plans and they don’t include you in the end.

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The second truth: “I don’t want to get a divorce.”

So, this visit has predictable results—she fucked the guy. I’ll spare you the gory details, but it settled like this. First, he left to go back home after spending a couple nights with him in hotel room. (I swear to every deity ever worshiped that if she ever again brings a man into my home for as much as a handy her world will fucking end on the spot, something she mostly realized back then too.). Second, that we should both do some exploring to see what it is we want and need from life. Third, we weren’t going to get a divorce because when we find ourselves or some stupid shit like that, our marriage can become stronger. So there you go; she unilaterally opened up the marriage.

So my critical mistake here is this: being a rational male I figured she would find who she wanted and leave me to be with them. Yeah, no. She was telling the truth. She did not want to divorce me. Being married was an association to my wallet, not my cock. She wanted access to those indefinitely and it’s super convenient that she didn’t have to fuck me to get them.

A few months later, I went on a three week business trip to Europe. She sends the kids to grandma and invites the stunt cock out to plunge her tuna patch. Despite opening up the marriage, she lied about the whole thing. Of course, so did I; this is when I inaugurated my rampage which culminated in a few Dear Penthouse Forum moments. From this trip on I was regularly getting sex from other women. She was working hard to get this one guy to move to the Bay Area, which she did succeed in doing eventually. She resumed fucking him in secret. This was the most closeted Open Marriage in history.

Eventually, she confesses. In the defense of the hamster, I was not very happy about the whole thing when it started and I am a scary, aggressive person, so I could see how she would rather keep it secret. She says the guilt got the better of her. Which takes us to a watershed moment in my life…

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The third truth: The King Arthur Speech

So this long, painful confession occurred on neutral ground, somewhat reinforcing that she might have some real fear of my reaction. Yes, I got very upset, but didn’t lose my shit. She detailed it all, including the visit I mentioned above. Eventually, I get to the question every man gets to in this situation: but why?!?! Here is her answer (this isn’t an exact telling, as I don’t remember it word for word, but it covers the points).

"You are like King Arthur. You are strong and have a lot of power. You have a castle. People do what you tell them. You are brave. He is like Lancelot. He’s exciting, adventurous and likes to try lots of new things. I like the way he makes me feel. But he can be stubborn and gets angry when things aren’t his way.. (Note the last bit was in reference to how he treated her.)"

Yeah, the guy with the castle is the Beta Bucks. The impertinent guy that does whatever he wants and really knows how to swing his proverbial sword is the Alpha Fucks. That’s ok, right? Because she’ll just leave me without drama and everything will be ok, right? No but being a dumbass I actually encouraged her to spend more time with him, hoping it would seal the deal. I was careful to be supportive and not think she and I had a problem. All I was doing was normalizing this behavior for her—dick elsewhere, wallet at home. I brought a couple of my fuck friends and two of my more durable mistresses out of the closet, though she doesn’t know but a small fraction of what I actually did. This only gave her the impression I would never leave her no matter how many cocks she juggled while taking whatever she could from me. Everything was perfect in her world.

And this is where I fucked everything up for both her and myself.

It bears to note that as she got in deeper with this guy and then the branch swing to the next guy that was even more important to her, I was getting less and less vaginal moments from her. They had to deal with her tantrums and spit fights. (I will admit the first guy held frame a lot better with her shit than I did.). Again, I was taking the easy path. If she fucks other guys, I don’t have to deal with her Typical Female Behavior. Seemed like a deal at the time, but ultimately was weak and pathetic.

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Her lie to herself

Earlier I noted I mentioned the “ our marriage can become stronger” bullshit. I think this is what she really expected after her play years were over (this transition deserves a whole post on its own, but that’s for another day). It explains why to this day she still tries to talk up our marriage to other people, even as I disengage more and more from her. The problem is there is no marriage because there is no intimacy. I tried. I did. Every attempt led back to same conclusion—she simply doesn’t want me. When she thinks of great sex, she remembers those nights away from me, not those nights with me. What has been seen cannot be unseen.

I see on her what I see on a lot of women her age now. She is miserable. When I was younger women this age didn’t all look like this. I to am war whery.

Yay feminism!

—

What did I learn?

Everything, but here are some cookies.

1) There was only a small moment in our history that she saw me as attractive. I fucked it up by being a dopey romantic instead of a sexual creature.

2) Women will not leave you unless they are forced by you or by her new cock. They will happily juggle as many men as they will allow.

3) LCF is not a bitch. She is not a whore. She is not stupid. She’s just female.

4) Trying to engineer a solution for a woman using a man’s perspective is retarded. She was never going to leave on her own and the end result for her is misery.

5) Hoping that things will take care of themselves doesn’t fix anything. She was never going to leave.

Hoping is nothing. Doing is everything.