To the quiet ones out there: Be visible.

A lot of you will see this as obvious, but it's such a problem I see with new young guys at work. They're too quiet. They blend into the background, almost apologising for existing.

Their dad's said, "Son, put your head down, don't cause trouble, work hard and the rewards will come".

The truth about any covert contract is it's bullshit, and like the tastiest bullshit it's filled with truth. Hard work got you into college. It'll get you into the mid-leagues at work, but it won't make you a superstar in the top 20%.

You need to become visible to be successful at work, in life, or with women.

To be remarkable, you need people to make remarks about you. You can't hide and hope your work will speak for itself, or that hot girl in accounts will notice you. They won't.

They will notice that narccisitic shit whose work is okay, but who talks a good game.

I'm not saying you don't need to work hard. You still need to lift to get a great body, but it's pointless if you then dress badly to hide your gains.

This is a fundamental shift in how we're taught to behave in school - be quiet, don't cause any trouble, be humble. And I followed that. A few years ago I met my old math teacher, she didn't even remember me.

School taught a straight-A student how to become forgettable.

Back in the day peacocking was all the rage. Guys would flounce around clubs in feather boas, and wear stupid goggles. Seems dumb but at least they weren't invisible and it works on drunken girls. I'm not suggesting you dress like a clown day to day, but be the best dressed guy in your peer group.

Be attractive. If you can't be attractive, lift. And after that, find another reason for people to talk about you.

Become famous for something.

As a man, don't be afraid to take up space.

Manspread your life.

Get used to being the centre of attention.

Be loud - Your opinions matter.

Be visible - You're a predator, not someone who needs to hide.

Connect with people.

In your mind you're being polite by not bothering people. The reality is you're coming across as rude, snobbish and stuck up.