The Problem of Marriage

May 22, 2020
326 upvotes

The Problem of Marriage

From time to time I either read on AskTRP or someone pings me with a question about getting married “someday”. I’m not sure why “someday” is better other than it is not “now”. Maybe divorce-rape will be de-invented “someday”. I’m not sure what the logic to it is. Maybe guys think they are more likely to find their One Special Girl at 40 than they are at 20.

The most common “reason” is “I want haz leetle babiez!” First, babies SUCK. They cry and poop a lot. Your marital satisfaction will drop through the fucking floor. Second, you don’t want “children”, what you want is adults who are your genetic progeny who are “cool” by which I mean: have not turned out to be defective in some way – retarded, meth heads, criminals, assholes, etc. I have a buddy with three sons. One has some sort of mental fuckup or three, and #2 son likes to be high on more than life basically all the time. #3 might turn out ok. The jury is still out on him. Now, there are plenty of “good kids” too, but there are plenty of parents who would love a “do over” on their kids.

EDIT: So I'm getting some "You hate kids" or "You seem to want guys not to have kids!" in the comments. I do not care if guys have kids. Go have a fuck ton of kids. I don't care. I even linked Blackdragon's guide for safely having kids with a woman. That said, guys use "Me want kidz!" as en excuse to willfully blind themselves for the shit deal they are signing up for. Also, everyone will tell you that having kids is GREATTM but nobody talks about how their kid is fuck up, either. It's a risk. I'm just forcing people to confront it, and the tradcons and the "red on the outside, blue on the inside" crowd Does.Not.Like.It.

Also, news flash: YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO HAZ CHILDRENZ! Blackdragon (who I am not, but who I read from time to time) had a guide for this very thing: The 12 Steps To Safely Have Kids With A Woman.

And “Someday Charlie”, the guy who is going to “settle down” and “have kids” at 40 rather than 25? He sounds a lot like Mary Jo Rottencrotch who is going to ride the Cock Carousel until she hits the Epiphany Phase, and dismounts, taking with her the 1000 Cock Stare, some HPV and maybe another viral ‘souvenir’ or two.

Important: Marriage is FUCKING HARD. Get used to being nagged and saying “Yes, dear!” a lot, just to make the nagging stop. Even ‘best case’ it’s TRP Hard Mode. Just go ask the married guys on MRP. Even “normal” wives do crazy ass things for no reason. One woman I know who one would think of as “wife material” in general (positive attitude and still kind of hot in her late 30s after a couple of kids, so probably a catch back in the day) told me how she used to get so upset about her husband watching football on Sunday that she would go stomping through the house, start vacuuming, etc. This over three hours of watching his favorite team play, once a week. And she’s probably top 10% in the “non-psycho” wife category.

Who Wants You To Get Married?

Now, the Powers that Be would LOVE for you to get married, because married guys do things like get jobs, pay taxes and go into debt – in other words, married men are easier to control.

Prager U did a bit of a “shaming” piece entitled Be a Man. Get Married. They basically made an infomercial for MGTOW. It is pretty much a list of reasons NOT to get married. What’s the primary reason? Well, you will make more money. What they don’t tell you is WHO gets to spend that money. Start with your wife. And those kids you wanted. They are expensive as fuck. Married men maximize their income because they fucking have to.

Married men work about 400 hours more per year than unmarried men with similar backgrounds. That is 10x40 hour weeks! So they have less free time, and more money to spend – oops, scratch that, they won’t have more money for them to spend. But they do work 400 more hours. And who does that benefit again?

Not the guy.

Oh, and ask a married guy who is working an hourly job how many hours a week he works. It’s not going to be 40. They will pull extra shifts, etc., to bring home more $$. For someone else to spend. Who will then dump them because he “was always working.”

There’s also a trope about how men don’t make friends after college. Why? Because they are always fucking WORKING, that’s why. I have friends from childhood, friends from Uni, friends from playing in bands, friends from travel. Married guys don’t have friends. They just hang out with the husbands of their wives’ friends.

Married men were much less likely to quit their jobs without another one lined up. Translation: They are also more likely to stay in jobs they hate because they have to. Oh, and remember what I said about “easier to control”? Right, that bit again. And it’s not like we’re all “Old Economy Steve” who loses one job and then finds another on his way home.

“But Uncle Vazya, don’t married men get promoted more?” Sure, back in 1955. But now? Also as so many folks are divorced now (or never married) that just isn’t possible. If it became too much of a pattern, it would probably also be illegal. The feministas don’t like it because there used to be an idea that a man had to make a “family wage” because he had to support a family, whereas single men and women (whether married or not) would not. Try explaining that to the EEOC.

What’s So Great About Being A Bachelor? Don’t Bachelors Earn Less Money?

Maybe. But they get to keep 100% of what they earn (after the government takes its share, ofc). And they have 10 more work weeks of free time to use it. That’s 10 more work weeks of learning an instrument, playing in a band, learning a language, going on vacation or just chilling the fuck out.

I met an Uber driver once. He was in his early 60s, and had taken early retirement from the Navy. He lasted one - ONE - day at home. What happened? He took an afternoon nap on the couch…and his wife saw him. Then the “Honey Do” List came out. His first task was to clear out the brush behind the garage…you know, in case company comes and asks to check the “cleanliness” of the “behind the garage” area. This is in SoCal, during the summer, when it’s fucking hot and it’s brush, so he came back in sweaty and a bit cut up. So he signed up to be an Uber driver, and he uses his “Uber money” to pay some 20 year old kid to do that shit for him. He also told me, “And if I want to take a nap, I pull into a parking lot and I take a fucking nap.”

Imagine being retired from a long career and finally getting some well-deserved rest and then not being able to take a nap in your own house without getting rousted awake for chores. Tell me that’s “winning”.

Single guys? They get to do Whatever They Want, All The Time.

Look, I’m not saying “Go play vidja, smoke up, jack off and eat Cheetos all the time”, but you should be living your life for you and not what’s best for everyone else. Work on yourself, become the best version of yourself you can be, figure out your mission, set goals, and go achieve them.

Some years ago, I read an article by some fancy Harvard economist about how women were so much smarter than men because they were getting degrees and men were not. What Mr. SmartyPants didn’t figure out is, if you aren’t getting married, and you only have to support 1 person, and you don’t need a big house n’shit, suddenly you don’t need nearly as much money. What does that mean? It means you don’t have to take on $400K of student loan debt to get a degree in “Oppression Studies” that doesn’t get you a job that supports that level of debt – I sit on the hiring committee where I work and I Will Not Fucking Hire You if you have some gay-ass degree that ends in “Studies”. That shit tells me that you are going to be a malcontent. There are people I graduated University with who still had student loan debt bigger than their mortgage (if they even had a mortgage; many couldn’t afford to buy because: student loans). They might have it paid off just in time to take out loans for their kids.

Guess who doesn’t have crushing loans? The guy who went to trade school, has a marketable skill and didn’t rack up $$$ to get there. Plus he has a trade so he’s not going to go hungry.

I’m not against University, provided you have an idea of what you’re doing. If I had a kid who went to Uni with an “undeclared” major, I’d tell him he had a week to figure some shit out I was pulling him out of Uni. If he chose some useless major, then I’d say “Great, you can pay for it, or I can choose a second major for you in ‘You Will Thank Me For This Later’.” Too many kids go to Uni now, who don’t belong there, or who treat it like it is Really Expensive Summer Camp, Only Not In The Summer.

Men Won Feminism

Linda Gordon: “the nuclear family must be destroyed… Whatever its ultimate meaning, the break-up of families now is an objectively revolutionary process.”

So when the Feministas decided that they needed to break the nuclear family – and they were all in on that – they also freed men. How?

They broke the Pussy Cartel.

(Note: We also won when we convinced women that pole dancing was exercise.)

Back in the day, the easiest way to (theoretically) have regular access to sex was to get married. No longer. Now the SMP is wide open. I realize it may not seem that way to younger guys, because your need for sex is so great and women are deluged on social media with validation from thirsty betas, but in the long run, we come out ahead.

How so? Guys who work to Become the Prize and avoid dumb shit like smoking, drugs, too much booze and (for older guys) women their own age will do just fine. Hell, I have fucking slave girls. Would I have slave girls if I was married? Wives generally frown on that sort of thing.

And don’t listen to the “But what about when you’re OLD…aren’t you afraid of dying ALONE?” First, what about the Right Now? Did I mention I have slave girls? Second, never negotiate out of fear of what you think the “worst possible scenario”. Think in terms of your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) and if your BATNA is better than an agreement (in this case a marriage) then bail on the negotiated agreement and go with the BATNA. Third, what are your options? Get married, and have a 50+% chance of that ending in divorce – then you get to “die alone” with no $. If you stay married, well good for you, but some marriages suck, and some are just ok. You have maybe a 1 in 5 or 1 in 10 chance of being in the “Good to Great” zone. Good for you. But guys like me are still going to fuck younger, hotter, tighter women than you, and if they leave or I boot them out, I keep 100% of my stuff and I’m not paying a woman alimony and child support (for which there is zero accountability) to live in a house I paid for, fuck other guys and teach my kids to hate me.

Look. I’m a “deal guy”. That means I know a shitty deal when I see one. With marriage, I see a lot of downside and not much upside. Life just isn’t Pleasantville.

Women Kill Your Dreams

You’ve heard of the famous Wright Brothers, right? Reuchlin and Lorin Wright. Wait, what? Something doesn’t seem correct? Don’t I mean Orville and Wilbur? No I mean their older brothers Reuchlin and Lorin Wright. You’ve never heard of them? Probably because they got married and their wives nagged them into getting jobs down at the lumberyard or the tool & die and they didn’t do anything cool like INVENT THE FUCKING AIRPLANE. That’s why you’ve never heard of them.

You can’t use Red Pill Tools to fulfill your blue pill dreams, but you can use them to fulfill your Red Pill Dreams.

White Knights for Matrimony

So for a lot of guys in the 'pro-marriage' crowd, it's not enough to praise marriage, either because they have a good one, or because they are still living in a Deep Blue Dream, they have to shit on guys who live the Free Agent Lifestyle (Hat Tip: Coach Greg Adams). Why you guys gotta come at me like that bro'? I mean if marriage is so wonderful, you should be able to sell me on it without sneering that "It's better than just banging whores and sluts" or whatever. You sound like butthurt feminists.

Do I go at the 'pro-marriage' guys with "Hey, your Frame sucks so you took the coward's way out so you didn't lose your girl", or shit like that? No, I don't. I don't have to. There's more options out there than "whores and sluts". Guys can go legit MGTOW, they can keep a roster (as I do) they can maintain a red-pilled relationship with one woman without inviting the state in as a 3rd partner - and the state has been weaponized against men in family and divorce courts, make not mistake about it.

So if marriage is so great, make the sale. Don't criticize guys who aren't in a hurry to board the Titanic.

If You Still Want To Get Married

If you still want to get married, go punch yourself in the dick ten times.

Then go watch Divorce Corp. Divorce sucks and it’s a great way to go bankrupt – it’s the #4 cause of bankruptcy in the US.

If you still MUST get married and have kids, the time to do it is when you are young, so they have less chance of being genetically fucked up, and also because if your wife takes you down to the courthouse and asset-mines your ass, you have a much better chance of recovering at 35 than at 55. Have a plan to succeed. And have an escape plan for when she comes home and tell you that she doesn’t love you anymore and get your shit packed and get out or she’s calling 9-1-1 and claiming you hit her. She wants you gone…except for your wallet.

Takeaways

-Don’t get married.

-Marriage is a shit deal.

-Also, don’t get married.

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Post Information
Title The Problem of Marriage
Author VasiliyZaitzev
Upvotes 326
Comments 249
Date May 22, 2020 1:36 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/the-problem-of-marriage.668852
https://theredarchive.com/post/668852
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/goa0ok/the_problem_of_marriage/
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Comments

[–]JoocyJayByrd77 points78 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Have a bunch of early 30s guy friends. almost everyone by now is married having a kid or engaged and planning too shortly.

from time to time we manage to meet up for a drinking evning. its so funny when everyone is still sober, everyone always asks me "Yo, JJB, when you finally gettin settled down, you already 31, time is ticking, you don't wanna die alone, don't you?" then.. a couple of hours later, when everyone has had a couple of drinks the real shit comes out and you can see how miserable they are..

too tired to have an erection, too stressed out about money matters, mortgage payments etc. etc. the list never ends..

getting kids & married shouldn't be because of fear, but because you really want to..

Thank you for posting this OP, haven't seen this topic pop up for a while :)

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]dopexile77 points78 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

Now, the Powers that Be would LOVE for you to get married, because married guys do things like get jobs, pay taxes and go into debt – in other words, married men are easier to control.

Bingo. Women push Men to buy large houses, do $50,000 kitchen remodels, eat out at restaurants, blow money on vacations, and drive new cars.

They'll save nothing for retirement and dig themselves deep into debt to make their wife happy and work until they drop dead. If the man does not provide, he faces a ruinous divorce.

Just look at a wedding. Does a guy want to spend $20,000 renting out a reception hall and Church for a few hours? Does he want to spend $3k on a wedding dress that will be worn once? Does he want to spend $5,000 and a lot of time picking flowers for the event? Does a guy want to buy a $10,000 wedding ring? Of course not, they just go along with it because this is what they are controlled to do as workers on a plantation.

Society loves marriage and a fixation on love because it puts women in control of spending. That is all great for corporations looking to sell things and for governments looking to generate tax revenue.

If you can convince someone from a young age that their happiness, social acceptance, identity, progress in life, and manhood depends on their ability to attract women and get married, then you can control that individual.

[–]beginner_19 points20 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Bingo. Women push weak beta Men to buy large houses, do $50,000 kitchen remodels, eat out at restaurants, blow money on vacations, and drive new cars.

fixed it. The problem most married men are unhappy is because the fact that they are is already a biased sample. Eg they are even more likely to be beta pushovers. alphas are quiet rare and even rarer in a beta-biased sample. So one end up with 1/10 happy marriages and I bet these are does where the husband isn't a pushover and "does whatever he planned" vs going to wives friends baby shower.

[–]Blackhawk247917 points18 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Even assuming the beta-biased sample, there are plenty of objectively alpha guys that end up in fucked marriages or dragged through the divorce courts by some crazy bitch - Brad Pitt springs to mind with Jolie, and look what Johnny Depp has had to deal with with Amber Heard.

[–]KingOfPomerania7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, this is true. Although, it is worth taking into account that the Alphas you mention (and, let's face it, most Alphas out there) are almost certainly BP Alphas.

To be honest, it doesn't how alpha you are, if you marry a woman who's ability to pair bond is completely fucked then your marriage is moribund from the get go.

[–]RStonePT6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That is because alpha isn't a demographic. you can't 'be' alpha as an identity, anymore than you can 'be' hungry as an identity.

Those guys you think of as alpha have the same 'promise keepers' mentality everyone else does, they have a buffer against it because being aloof and attractive with good game doesn't expose them to it, sometimes for decades.

Those celeb examples don't matter too much, they are the rare breed of men who can eat a painful divorce and not miss a step. their only problems are emotional, which are the same problems that joe blow mechanic has during his divorce, only he can't worry about those while he can't afford rent because his ex requires a certain lifestyle

[–]LethalShade6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

What makes you think those men are alpha? Alpha means so very little but it certainly means more than just being internationally recognized for their successful careers.

As much as I love Johnny Depp, I guarantee he has more demons under his hood than we could ever guess since he seems to be attracted to BPD women.

[–]Blackhawk24794 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don’t disagree, but they are world famous, multi-millionaires at the top of their industry (which just happens to be Hollywood) and they’ve got the looks, bodies and personalities (at least overtly) to match.

One of Vaz’s key pieces of RP advice for building yourself is to “be excellent at something” (paraphrasing) - I think you’d have a hard time arguing that being a top Hollywood actor wasn’t excelling.

[–]LethalShade5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fair, perhaps the word I was looking for was "frame" then, especially in an intergender relationship. If you don't study the concepts or are taught by a more experienced male as you're growing up, it doesn't matter your level of excellence, you will get roflstomped by a woman because holding frame against them is a completely different skill.

[–]dopexile3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Can a guy that gets married even be considered Alpha? He has subjected himself to a position of weakness. Marriage gives the women the power to use government and family courts to conspire and take his resources. That doesn't sound very Alpha to me.

Perhaps Leonardo Dicaprio is Alpha. He only hangs around 24 year old women and refuses to get married.

[–]Irene_90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The alpha men that marry tend to be wealthy and religious. They also tend to marry women who are from wealthy families and are religious. Those women tend to have a focus of life that they want their children to be many and successful. And of course, those men tend to have strong father's right lawyers to advise them and draft ironclad marriage contracts from the get go.

It's a very different world than the one that the audience of The Red Pill are living in. In that world, people are religious, have strong self-control, have stable families, have little drug problems, and have a lot of money that marriage and divorce do not financially stress them.

In this world, however, women can be as dump as wanting to get married just so she can have an awesome wedding party all about herself, and money is always a huge problem. Therefore, marriage is truly like playing Russian roulette.

[–]acoltismypassport7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Ding ding! If you're the kinda' guy to do whatever you want, whenever you want, and don't kowtow to your woman, this isn't gonna change during marriage. Sure, you're on the 'weak end' of the bargaining table so to speak; but if you play your cards right and select a comparatively rational, sensible woman, it's extremely unlikely you'll find yourself in the typical divorce rape situation. That is reserved for blue pill pussies who couldn't lead a HMDI cable into their TV, let alone their wife.

I read once on here that you should marry a woman who you wouldn't mind being divorced from. A curious thought, but one that makes a great deal of sense. The kinda' woman who you could still appreciate as a person and mother, and who would show you the same courtesy once and if your union comes to an end.

The perception is so skewed however that this forum and asktrp are overrun with terminal betas who have been divorce raped, precisely because they went into, and ended their marriages in a horrendously blue pill state. You don't hear nearly enough of the success stories for the same reason you don't see many glorified product reviews on Amazon - people who have it good are much less inclined to comment.

[–]Rakanidjou7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The stats on divorce are speacking for themselves.

Sure, you can keep telling yourself that you are way better than 95% of the population. Even if that was true, know that woman get bored of alpha male as well. If you add the incentive of divorce money then it's over for you.

Check your ego my friend, mariage is with two people, you can only control yourself, don't delude yourself into thinking otherwise no matter how alpha you think you are.

awalt /she's not yours.

there's a good reason lot of us are warning against mariage.

[–]acoltismypassport1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Stats that include the average dumbass blue pill knuckle head. Take into account the red pilled men with solid bitch management and good powers of selection, and that number plummets.

[–]Rakanidjou7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I get what you are saying, i'm sure a redpilled man will surely mitigate the risks.

With that being said, I would like you to understand my point, which is that you could be the most alpha man of the world, at some points your spouse will get bored with you and get tingles from the pizza guy or her work husband.

Once that happens, if you have put yourself in a situation where divorce is free gift (huge emotion boost mixed with money and victime status...) you can get divorced raped and the thing is, there's nothing you can do at that point. No matter how alpha you are, it's not up to you my friend.

Mariage is a lottery ticket where the prize is that you don't get raped.

Why are you buying it?

[–]acoltismypassport0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not disputing the risks involved; we're firmly agreed upon that point. But marriage, like anything, involves risk. It's a risk I personally think is worth taking... IF you meet the variegated criteria requisite to even have a fair crack of the bat. If you're a blue pilled normie bugman, you shouldn't even consider it.

No risk, no reward.

[–]dr_warlock6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Had a divorced relative (that will pay alimony till they're wearing adult diapers) tell me of a business they had in mind. From what he told me, they put in a lot of effort planning it, researching, and looking for funding. A few years later I spoke to them and they say they put it on hold because they (he) has to pay off credit cards he charged for the wedding and honey moon of his new marriage.

Some people can't be helped.

[–][deleted]  (13 children) | Copy Link

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[–]LethalShade13 points14 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Wouldn't those issues fix itself with the right frame and boundaries?

Zait and you both describe relationships based on a total lack of any agency and self-respect from the man, which is understandable if you've never studied relationship theory or any RP concept.

But surely there's a middle ground between never-get-married-under-any-circumstances-ever and "honey, can I please have 5$ from our joint bank account to buy myself some chips? Yes, I'll do the dishes, of course."

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]dr_warlock4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"compromise" is euphemism for man sacrifices money, time, freedom, identity, and power for the whims of a female.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 13 points14 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Wouldn't those issues fix itself with the right frame and boundaries?

You realize this is what every guy thinks while he's waiting at the altar for his wife to be walked down the aisle by her father.

Please go over to MRP and ask them.

a total lack of any agency and self-respect from the man

Go to divorce court and ask the dudes there how much "agency" they have.

[–]RStonePT7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

This here. It's not that one couldn't make it into lemonade, the question is: Why is one so committed to doing so?

OP probably doesn't know himself

[–]PulmonaryArchery871 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Eh rewind 13 years and I didn't know who I was. Looking back I absolutely was the second drunk captain. Today I have a better understanding of who I am and where I am going.

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I notice that's not an answer either.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not asking rhetorically, I'm asking because, while I understand youre comments, not being read, mature, etc.

But you're taking the wrong message from my comment. I was asking OP why make that his goal at all, and everyone seems to skirt that... Or they say 'children' as if a marriage certificate improves fertility

[–]dr_warlock2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ever ask yourself why two people can't draw up their own marriage contract to their specifications and be enforced by the courts?

It doesn't matter how wonderful the person is when the contract you sign can be altered in the future by a third party (government) without your knowledge or consent and hold you liable for said alterations. In addition, one party can violate the terms of the contract and walk away with minimum penalty, if at all (hint: it's not you). It's dumb as fuck. There is no other situation where a person would even consider signing a contract with similar conditions. Never ever. Only rationalization, idealism, and blissful ignorance would allow for such a thing.

[–]LethalShade0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's a scary way to put it. I'm glad I read this subreddit because I would find this info nowhere else. Gotta heavily consider both sides.

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes and OP is missing the point. He talks about how shitty marriage is when ever gripe he has was self inflicted. No one told him to do any of that suff, he allowed himself to be manipulated into it and resented his woman for picking such a squishy husband.

The one and only question he could have asked was: What does he get with a marriage he also couldn't get from an LTR?

The only answer I've ever seen that makes sense is that expats that work in certain countries must be married for some non negotiable rights.

[–]RPDream12 points13 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I WAS married for a period of 25 years and I can confirm that 99.99 % of what this guy is saying is TRUE, is FACT. Listen to him and read carefully.

While married, I WAS thinking that I was a happy man... until I became free and realized the meaning of real happiness.

Most of deluded married men extract their happiness from the satisfaction of the wife, the kids, the society, and of course the damn ego. Free men get their happiness from satisfying themselves and only themselves. Stay free and be safe and happy!

[–]GraveyardZombie4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

How did you push through underwater chains of child support and alimony?

[–]RPDream6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well I left the graveyard of marriage very late, so the damage has already been done. I suffered a lot, but let me tell you, life after marriage is much better and brighter financially, mentally, emotionally, health wise .. in all aspects. I now look and feel younger than I was 10 years ago. I am literally younger according to my smart scale which records my metabolic age 10 years below my real age! Each day I wake up happy and proud that I left this sinking stinky ship called marriage!

Edit: Trust me, it’s never too late to gain back you freedom. And regarding money, I now make more and spend 5 times less!

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Word.

[–]turbospeedsc2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I recently got single again, and every single bit of this is true, i still love my ex, and i would kill to be able to wake up next to the memory of her, you know my wife before marriage.......

The woman i left, i cant stand her a second, after she left, i started to feel so liberated, peaceful and inspired.

I still need to fight some demons and as soon as i can afford it, i plan to go to therapy, but man this living peacefully thing is awesome.

[–]RPDream0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don’t know how long since you left but let me tell you that it gets better and brighter by time. Keep focusing on and investing in yourself and only yourself. I’ve done therapy while still married ( just a few months before the divorce) and it kinda confirmed my decision for divorce. Going to the gym and meditation is helpful too.

[–]ThinSpiritual13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The comments man... I think most people want to be optimistic about marriage, myself included. But comon guys, we understand the concept of "on average" yet we optimistically think that we'll somehow be part of the positive outlier?

Swallowing the RP necessarily implies that you address the reality as it is, and that's exactly what this post is about. Statistics and anecdotal evidence, AKA facts.

I have a pretty darn good LTR right now and I still have to acknowledge the fact that my tastes and needs will change over time. There is no guarantee that my LTR can grow with/satisfy me all the time.

[–]itiswr1tten15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

But Muh unicorn.

Good posts always draw out the male hamsters

[–]RStonePT12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

After 7 years or more of this here, I'm surprised Vas even has to mention it, yet here we are.

If you're parents didn't do you the favour of showing what marriage is today, if your friends haven't done you the favour of showing it to you in real time, if your friends parents weren't able to, if you didn't have that uncle who killed himself so you could watch your aunt monetize her grief for a bit of social clout after driving him to it, if you haven't looked into the legal frameworks surrounding marriage or the end runs governments take to do it anyways (common-law e.g.), and if you managed to be in an environment which has had none of that give you a glimpse into the abyss that is marriage 3.0 then I applaud you.

Now explain to everyone else how you managed to do it without blind luck.

[–]rakeshgupta10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The parents and sad uncles have taught me much. The parents have definitely proven it, the father was not an absent one but like unche vas told about the uber guy, if he wanted to take a nap he did it in a parking lot. Most of this has resonated with me and it has been enough to make me MGTOW. But I'm young, early 20s and pursuing medicine so that when my day comes I'd rather be in place better off financially having done achieved my dreams. And if females are going to be a part of it, I will not make room for them in the form of marriage that's for sure because of all the PTSD from childhood. This post is spot on with sound advice for unplugged individuals.

[–]SeasonedRP9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

This post is spot on. People who are too young to have witnessed and experienced the nature of marriages in the 30s, 40s, and older, should pay attention to these kind of posts and quit dreaming that they are going to be an exception and find a unicorn. I frequently see men on here romanticize marriage. They have fantasy notions of a wife always being there and taking care of them when they are dying. These guys are invariably young and don't understand female nature well. Women aren't wired to be with the same man long term, which is why nearly all marriages result in her losing attraction, and cue the nagging and complaining and possibly seeking company outside the marriage. Men just want someone who is nice to them and semi-regular sex, whereas women get bored after a period of time, and nothing will spike her interest to where it was when you were dating. And women don't fantasize about taking care of some sick old man. They tend to hate men after they go through menopause.

[–]mindsanitizer6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

They tend to hate men after they go through menopause.

This. Menopause RUINS even very good women. And it's totally taboo to even talk about this.

[–]SeasonedRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The young guys idealizing marriage don't think that far ahead or even have a frame of reference to understand it. The idea that they'll have some loving, doting bride tending to them in their elder years is laughable. That's not how it works.

[–]Irene_90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If a plate has been faithfully taking care of you over all those years, award her with a systemic estrogen therapy when she goes through menopause. Don't let menopause ruin her.

[–]401kisfun0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don’t know that I agree with this. My mom nags my dad, but I’d say it’s about 50/50 ie he gets on her nerves too. They would NEVER divorce nor even be separate even for a night. They definitely are in it together

[–]FormerBradFutureChad20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was going to go to bed, but one last scroll through Reddit revealed title that piqued my interest and I knew that sleep had to wait when I saw who the poster is haha

Edit: The snippet about the Wright brothers' brothers was the part that really hit your points home, amazing. Plan is to still get married, but that's probably because I'm still new to all this.

Gonna continue punching myself in the dick 10 times a day

[–]Patric_MasterBateman[🍰] 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

"You can’t use Red Pill Tools to fulfill your blue pill dreams, but you can use them to fulfill your Red Pill Dreams."

I am going to remember this one. Amazing quote

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Amazing quote

Thanks. I will have to add it to "The Sayings of Chairman Zaitzev".

[–]Thinkingard10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Married 9 years currently separated (her choice after cucking me). Worked hard at keeping things going for our kids sake never wanted to have my kid grow up with divorced parents but in the end it wasn’t up to me.

I’d have to say that when I finally got a breath of fresh air from her I realized how far I’d come. I started improving rapidly. Guys have no idea how much a partner can bring them down. Whenever I was up and happy she’d have something to complain about from her work. She was never content with what she had she always wanted the next thing promising if we had that she’d be okay. I didn’t even realize how much she was bringing me down bc when we met I was immature and lazy. Well sure enough I matured and developed but it gets hidden bc so much of your energy and free time goes to her.

Now I am learning to code and turning my life around. I’m never going to let another woman get in my way of reaching my potential.

[–]IveSawitall8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This was funny as fuck. OP said it all. Guys don't even think of getting married at all.. Believe me I've had conversations with over a hundred married women who want to cheat on their husbands. Most of them were house wives and their husbands always busy at work to provide for them and their children while they plan to divorce the man with a better (handsome)person. Pls don't marry.. even the children will never be yours. Don't marry for any reason. I have seen this things even before I found the red pill and never understood until later.. I have 100000% proof marriage is shit. they will cheat on u, detested by you, disrespect you and more..

Wanting to get married for kids is stupid and lame, so as wanting to get married to avoid being lonely at old age. she will even divorce you before you cross your 50s.. if you ever have to listen to a divorced woman you fucked hard pour out insults on her ex and tell you she's repulsed by him you will understand what OP is saying. But whatever good luck with your unicorn. Go ahead and pay the most costly prize.

[–]fpuen80 points81 points  (42 children) | Copy Link

Married guys are happier on average. If you look into why, they tend to eat better, have more money, and most importantly, have more social relationships. Plus a natural legacy to build up.

I think a guy who does the above, plus fulfills the giving back part of becoming a tribal elder later in life, can have it all without the deep commitment of the marriage contract.

[–][deleted]  (25 children) | Copy Link

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[–]MilkMoney1115 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

All the Arab bitches I met in uni were hyper feminists. Where would an American most likely run into one of these culturally faithful women? Not to mention the stigma of interracial shit with the family. Just genuinely curious.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]MilkMoney1110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh yeah I definitely like the latinas. And most of the ones I dated had some of the traditional values although I still see it fading. Like... I should NOT be a better cook than a Latina, but unfortunately the younger ones just get pampered too much now a days

[–]ilikecandycrush18-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Just because it's going well now, does not mean it is always going to be that way, and that's when you'll realize you're in a marriage.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]ilikecandycrush180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

How many marriages do you think end with the woman taking half, taking the kids, using child support on themselves, and teaching the kids to hate their father?

I agree to each his own, but red pill is about a set of principles to ensure that something like that never happens, not to compromise and that hope it doesn't happen.

That, or have her sign a pre nup, live in a state with favorable divorce laws, and have a crazy good divorce lawyer ready.

[–]SteveSan8234 points35 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I married and I'm miserable. I dont know anyone who is happily married. People lie on facebook. My cousin pretends hes married to his best friend yet when alone he bitches about his wife.

[–]LethalShade7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think they try to lie to themselves. When I was dating this girl and our relationship was less than great, I used to tell anyone and myself(first and foremost) that she was great and our relationship was amazing.

You start to live in fantasy if your reality is too painful.

[–]Metron-21 points22 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

If you look into why, they tend to eat better,

Major cope and major lie.

Most men look their physical best in their bachelor years.

Vast, and I mean VAST, majority of married men let themselves go after marriage.

Partly laziness and complacency (since they feel like they no longer have to work for their girl) but also they have other commitments eg family, wife and kids.

Do not pretend young men suddenly go from shit to better eating habits when it’s mostly the opposite at worst and at best, they maintain whatever healthy eating habits/lifting habits they had before marriage.

Very few men actually improve from bachelor to marriage in this way.

most importantly, have more social relationships.

Doubt since as I and vas said: less time.

Plus a natural legacy to build up.

True. Kids are your genetic legacy, part of your (biological) purpose is to create offspring.

Doesn’t mean you have to get married to have them though. Not these days.

[–]Freelance_Sector4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If they actually end up being YOUR kids, not Chad or Tyrone's.

[–]beginner_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

In that way men have won too because you can easily figure it out. Just test it (even if it is illegal in your country, do it online).

Of course again it only applies when not married. When married, the kid is by default yours and if testing is illegal or is only legal valid when you get consent, you are fucked. However if you are not married you simply don't sign the paper making you "daddy" until you have a positive test result that you in fact are.

[–]MilkMoney1112 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

“They tend to eat better”

Yeah I immediately was like [citation fucking needed] on that one. Literally every single one of my friends who got married have gotten significantly fatter and out of shape. Along with the misses

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There used to be a thing called "marriage fat" which was like the "Freshman 15" where couples gained weight after marriage.

OTOH, I do know a guy who lost 20lbs because he just ate what his wife put in front of him. In that case they got married older, and she's actually pretty dedicated to staying married. I'm not sure because she loves him more than she is terrified of being alone in old age, but it does seem to be working out for both of them.

[–]Dravous0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

ut also they have other commitments eg family, wife and kids.

this was my exp. no time. there actually would be time if she could complete a task in the time that it actually required. but she won't, nor will she allow me to. sure, I can do it on my own but then she wants to argue, thus wasting more time then just letting her have what she (thinks she)wants.

better to just lie to her and get what needs done when she's not around to fuck it up. sad, but this is the world we live in.

[–]dopexile5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Preselection bias. Marriage does not cause Men to eat any better, earn anymore, or have more relationships.

It is just that the types of people that get Married tend to be more successful, middle class, and higher educated. The people that don't get married tend to be lower class.

But that does not mean that marriage is a good deal. It just means the preselected group decided to get married.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 21 points22 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I guarantee you I am happier than married guys, on average.

Source: I know a lot of married guys.

have more money, and most importantly, have more social relationships. Plus a natural legacy to build up.

Did you even read what I wrote?

Have more money - Married guys spend 400 hours more WORKING than single guys so they their wives can spend more money.

Have more social relationships - They don't have friends they are "friends" with the husbands of their wives friends.

Plus a natural legacy to build up - Assuming the kids turn out.

[–]Huffnagle0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I work in a skilled union shop, hourly.

The married guys do suck up all the overtime they can get, and I hear them talk about asking permission to buy something they want.

Fuck that.

[–]turbospeedsc0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Have been married, and never understood that permission thing, i mean i make the money......

[–]party_dragon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

remember, friends:

correlation does not equal causation

guys who are happier, eat well, ear more money, have a good social circle, are more likely to get married

[–]RStonePT1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You've got it backwards, like the stat where married men make more money.

It's not that being married causes a chain of events that make men happier with more money, it's that happier men with more money tend to have more options in their life, and more girls who want to marry them.

NEET's bitching about divorce rape never get tested, so they aren't included in the samlpe

[–]SalporinRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What are you talking about? Most married men look like absolutely shit.

[–]Whitefarmer6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The only time I get a tear in my eye or a lump in my throat is when my kid does awesome shit. It’s the best thing on earth. I tout him to weld last weekend ffs. He’s 9 years old and kills kids years older on his bmx bike racing. I witnessed him clear a 35 foot triple on his bike. The kid is a stud

Anyway he’s from my first marriage so yeah fuck marriage but I’m having more kids because it’s like nothing you can find without a woman

[–]turbospeedsc1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That i agree, marriage sucks, but children, damn they're awesome,

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’ve yet to see a good marriage, having worked in offices mostly made up of women between the ages of 20 to 60. Let me preface by saying that for the most part I got along well with these women, I have no personal animosity towards them; but some of the stuff they blurred out in my presence really surprised me.

One woman, M, has been married to her husband for 3 decades. She would always say he was ugly (although tall at like 6 foot 5 or something), and would often joke that she has to take friends with her on holiday as her and her husband have nothing left to talk about.

Another colleague, N, was a victim of domestic abuse in a previous relationship and ended up as a single mother of 3 kids from 2 dads. She is now happily married, but admitted that she almost blew off her current husband cause he was “a short guy” - I was stunned that she as a single mother of 3 in her 40s thought she was the prize.

There was also a newly wed in the office who spent the entire 2 years I knew her shit talking her husband and openly flirting with other men. She had a kid from another relationship who her husband is now raising and providing for, alongside their 2 new children together. I know her husband and he’s a great bloke and works hard at his job so this one was a particularly bitter red pill.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Take the heightpill. Women only want tall guys. Even a tall, ugly, beta guy is preferred over a short, good looking, alpha.

Women consider short and average heighted guys inferior and are good only as a backup plan.

[–]axiscontra16 points17 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Fuck marriage. But where are the unicorns?

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A unicorn is a mythical beast.

[–]dopexile2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's like lottery tickets. The chance of getting that 1 in a million odds keeps schmucks coming back relentlessly and losing millions of dollars in lottery tickets.

[–]Protocol_Apollo5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Agree with the vast majority of this post.

There’s nothing marriage offers for men that can’t be achieved outside of it.

But one thing is I think OP is a little biased against is having children simply because of the (small) sample of children he’s seen.

Yes there’s no guarantee of kids turning out to be amazing, but there’s no guarantee of them turning out bad either.

For an amazing kid, maybe it’s partly luck but partly it’s their upbringing and environment (parents).

I have faith that if vas were to have kids, they would turn out AT LEAST above average in almost every category. Just look at how many people see him as a good mentor here.

If you look at “average” it’s really not that hard to beat it.

Eg:

Average male physique isn’t 1/2 years of consistent lifting, it’s literally OVERWEIGHT.

Average male isn’t red pill lite/purple pill, it’s blue pill/afc.

Now I’m not trying to convince anyone to have kids, but if the ONLY reason you have is fear of what they could become then I’m not sure if that’s valid.

If you believe the hassle of raising kids (ie their entire first 20 years) outweighs the rewards/pride of having them then sure.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

But one thing is I think OP is a little biased against is having children simply because of the (small) sample of children he’s seen.

So I want to say that I am NOT biased against having kids. Here's the problem with kids:

A. Guys use "Me want kidz!" as en excuse to willfully blind themselves for the shit deal they are signing up for.

B. Everyone will tell you that having kids is The Awesomest Thing Ever - and maybe for some folks it is - but nobody talks about how their kid is fuck up, either. It's a risk. I'm just forcing people to confront it. Go have a fuck ton of kids. I don't care.

[–]--Kamikaze--0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Vas, to a degree everyone is bias. In this instance, you exhibited selection as well as personal bias.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, but I'm not fucking hiding behind it.

[–]Isbjornsolo5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This issue with modern marriage. Is there is no way you can "win" It's draw or lose. From a contract standpoint, which Marriage is. If you put that in front of anyone as a business proposal, it would get thrown back across the table without a second thought.

A lot of my friends late 20s/early 30s are now getting married and the guys don't see the problem with spending £20k+ on a party, £10k+ on a 2 week holiday, £5k on a ring (it's not an asset, try sell a diamond ring back to a jeweller).
Then getting a 4 bedroom house with a huge mortgage etc. No Kids for a few years though. So you know they can enjoy the first few years of marriage.

If you want to come across as a bit of a dick, ask them what holiday they would have with £30k. Or ask them how long it took to save all that money. Then watch the hamster spin like crazy.

Seth Godin did a great 20 minute podcast on "The Wedding industrial complex" it's got some RP nuggets in there. I would recommend anyone to check it out.

[–]sociatyman31 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I could care less about getting married. But raising my children and watching them become as alpha as possible is my ultimate goal in life.

[–]Luck-673 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Agreed about legal contract marriage particularly for young guys who are naive. Bringing a kid into the world is another thing . If they end up fucked up, 90% of the time the father dropped the ball somehow and it’s his fuck up (not the child ). Yes you will miss out on a lot of ass raising a child even if single, but at least it’s by choice . You either man up and raise the kid and lead or you hunt pussy on any given day based on visitation. Multitask. And agreed it can be done and successful without a legal contract with the Mom IF the mom isn’t whacked.

I have been/ am in all situations. My divorce, even with all the costs , saved me about 40% (current recession losses factored in) than had I kept the crazy bitch around to old age. Had I not married in the first place, even raising my kid...add another 15% in life long wealth to that. Bottom line ....don’t do it . Want a kid? Find a way and be prepared to both lead the kid and lose personal freedom. You’ll still get fuckee fuckee time, but it’s on a schedule

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] -4 points-3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

If they end up fucked up, 90% of the time the father dropped the ball somehow and it’s his fuck up (not the child ).

Why you supporting The Enemy? The Father Haters?

[–]Luck-672 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I think you mis read me or I didn’t articulate it well. My line of thought there was “abandonment” of the kid for whatever (blue pill esque) bullshit the Dad fell for. Abandonment due to drugs, pussy, ADD; whatever . Kid loses a solid male role model and grows up lost. Not to be confused with Femi Nazi blame game.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Anytime anyone says "90% of the time it's the man's fault", that makes me suspicious. I know plenty of divorced dads who want to be good dads, but aren't allowed to see their kids, or see them under limited circumstances.

[–]Luck-672 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yep. Vas, that would make me suspicious as well. I’m talking about a single father who has regular access to his kid and has the applicable choice to either lead the kid or bail. I either have direct first person observation of this or have/ am living the experience myself. I have no experience losing my kid in court; therefore I don’t armchair what those guys had to deal with. It’s gotta suck

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m talking about a single father who has regular access to his kid and has the applicable choice to either lead the kid or bail.

Ok. From what I see, it's more that the guy doesn't have a choice. I'm not making excuses for guys who walk away.

[–]Luck-670 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Post script: My astute and expensive attorney reminded me today that one of the reasons I have prevailed in court is due to the fact that I live in a heavily dirtbag populated county. The five (5) workload overwhelmed family law judges have already dealt with hours and hours of felon daddies and legit “wife” beaters by the time I roll in there with dialed documents and my shit halfway together, no prison record etc. I’ve been able to stand there and tell it like it is, rather than be shot down and financially raped each time. I’d give it a “7” for results. Point is....yes, in other areas I can visualize the problem other fathers have in court where there are entitled and/or dillusional biased judges that have court time to burn....it seems to be an individual state law and county driven outcome.

[–]pyth0ns3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is something I do not understand and perhaps others can clear this up for me...

What is it, about getting married... That automatically makes the man (or everyone having the perception it does) change who they are and what they originally did?
I'm reading your post Uncle V, along with others that do these things, and they always describe the man being some cringe worthy little bitch.

Now! I understand, with the kids... (Unless you're my father ;P) You kind of want your kids to have better things than you did, so you'll begin to sacrifice more, maybe hit the gym less to play ball with them, miss out on a guys night to watch their piano recital, etc...
But for marriage?
For the now wife?

Should you not have been a 'top dog' so to speak, prior to getting married?
Should your now wife, not already know what you're about and what you do as the norm and you will not be changing your way of life?

I mean... Say your daily lifestyle was (obligatory) Work, then Gym, then 1-2 hours of studies (Reading, education, music, etc/whatever to better yourself), then whatever the fuck you wanted to do, prior to sleep.
On the weekend, you had boys nights on the Fri or Sat night for UFC or EPL or etc... If a 19 year old came along and is so captivated by your 'top dog' charms and offers to blow you in the toilets, you go and do it.
As this, is what you did all the time.
This, is what your soon to be wife knows you do all the time.

I get... That women in their mind think they can curb that behavior...
But WhyTF would you allow it?

Why all of a sudden... Married... That now all stops?
Why would you allow that to stop?
Why would you even entertain the now wife, even allowing that to stop?

She should be fully aware of you and your lifestyle and what you do and that you ain't changing that!
You yourself, should not be getting into a marriage if there is doubt/etc that she will not be adhering to your lifestyle.

I also never understood this divorce rape, either...
There are a multitude of women out there (weather it is their own earned or daddies money) that have a fuck tonne more money than you, and have their own home/car/whatever they need and don't rely on you for money.
Can you not game one of those and get them to marry you, if you're dead set on marriage?
If anything, I'd figure that you now are the 'winner' of divorce rape.

For marriage...
-If she was a best friend contender... That is, we have fun, like actual fun when we are around each other, can travel the world together, etc.
-She isn't a harpy(She might eventually get there, but will take longer if she) actively shares my beliefs and views (gym, education, no social media/reality tv influence, etc)
-She has money... So you, yourself, are not working 2x jobs or a job you hate or etc as she is self sufficient (I also don't buy into the "oh, she will lose mad respect for you bro if she is earning more than you do", crap!)
-She is submissive... You made it known, that she will be submissive and you will continue to do whatever the fuck you were doing.
You don't want to spend your Sat or Sun at the MIL for some outing, THEN YOU DON'T!
Go do what you originally did and DGAF about the whining/bitching if it comes out.
SHE SHOULD KNOW WHAT YOU ARE ALL ABOUT!

-She knows external bullshit/influences (from their mother, sisters, slut friends, etc) is indeed, bullshit! They make their own choices and decisions.
-Etc, along that route and path.

If you are truly deadset on getting married... If all the above are being met... Then why not?

In before, one day if I'm married and my wife has been fucking every single postman/garbage man/etc, whilst I'm not allowed to go to the bar anymore for boys night... (:T)
(But that is on me man, if that happens... I turned from 'top dog' to some bitchboy failure)

[–]nofappp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

hm, beta boys scared of this comment

[–]noNooodleArms3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The great GLO himself shamed me into lifting. So, I got rid of my table and installed an Olympic barbell in my small one bedroom flat.

A novel coronavirus hit and shut everything down. I put my TV into storage for when the snow blows, spent my stimulus check on recording equipment, and spend a bunch of my free time out in the wild playing my hand drums (think technical Middle Eastern rhythms, not hippy shit).

It's kind of hard to imagine doing either any of this if I was still married.

Life is good.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s beast, as soon as I have my own place I’m putting a bench press in the living room

[–]slip-down3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Much like the Uber driver, we forget that not only 50% of marriages end in divorce, but I venture to say that over 50% of the ones that do "work" are miserable. They just aren't happy. I see a lot of men who are just a shadow of themselves. They allowed their wife's to beat them down, and rightfully so. Women just don't let up. Bill Burr had a bit on women just filling your calendar when they see an opening, honey do lists, bullshit spending, buying unnecessary shit (100 pillows for the bed, appliances they never use). It wears you down.

I've learned with time that misery really does love company. I never brag about my single life, ever, I just listen. Some men like their female counterparts are just toxic. They need to fit you in a category. We see this all the time our political atmosphere. By all accounts I am not a player. However, my lifestyle makes my friends, family and co-workers angry. They need to know what you're up to. Why aren't you married? Why aren't you doing what they do? Why aren't you in debt like them? You see what I'm getting at? The blue pilled men around you emulate their wives and try to beat you down. Meaning society at large tries to beat you into submission. A good friend of mine took 8 months off to travel, he's in his 30's. I can't even begin to describe the anger directed at hime. It wasn't even jealous just unnecessary anger towards him. He doesn't fit any of the categories they deem acceptable, so society needs to outcast him. Love the post. Never negotiate out of fear and most of all, live life on your terms.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I can't even begin to describe the anger directed at him

Yeah, I totally get it. I seem to have the right vibe to "get away with it" in that I'm on my friends' wives' "Approved" list, mostly because they know if they let hubby go hang with me they are going to get him back in good condition, reasonable wear and tear excepted, and they aren't going to get a call from the police station for bail money.

Beyond that I'm not up in anyone's face about my lifestyle, but I do what I do how I do and anyone who doesn't like it can fuck off to Jupiter.

[–]401kisfun0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

When I took a year off to travel it was amazing the reactions I got. From a wide spectrum of people. Bosses, friend’s wives, friend’s casual friends, girls I met at clubs. So many people get rich with strings attached.

[–][deleted]  (44 children) | Copy Link

[removed]

[–]Protocol_Apollo20 points21 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Impressive.

You didn’t mention a single thing that you couldn’t do outside a marriage.

Having a kid.

That can be done outside marriage.

Having a wife remind you to take your drugs.

Not the biggest goal I would have, but you can easily do that with a live in girlfriend.

Funeral attendance

Pretty sure you don’t need to be married to get a healthy funeral attendance.

Getting richer is easier with a wife.

Half truth as OP says. Not all that money is yours.

But yes, in terms of building an empire, it’s probably more time efficient and maybe more economical to have a ltr than constantly going on dates/approaching new girls/doing night game.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

it’s probably more time efficient and maybe more economical to have a ltr

Hey, I have LTRs. And when/if they leave, that does not ruin me, economically.

constantly going on dates/approaching new girls/doing night game.

I mostly day game. Also Always Be Closing.

[–]Protocol_Apollo2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

And when/if they leave, that does not ruin me, economically.

Yeh that’s true.

Regarding your LTRs/day game, are you proactive or reactive in this sense?

Ie

Are you always daygaming even if your rotation is good?

Or

Do you ride out the rotation and if one girl falls, that’s when you start daygaming?

I mostly day game. Also Always Be Closing.

True but that does take time and I assume from it, you set up dates at external venues like coffee/bars (unless you invite them straight over to your house for the first date to which I’ll say is it possible to learn this power?) which does cost more time/money as well compared to having a ltr who’s just there you know?

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Regarding your LTRs/day game, are you proactive or reactive in this sense?

I generally have 1-2 OLTRs and a few plates/FWBs around. For me, meeting and vetting women is fairly easy - I'm a natural extrovert and I have developed strong Frame, and good Game over the years. If I want to add a girl to the roster, I do. If one drops off, I might take more of an interest in finding a replacement so I don't get down to ONE.

[–]Blackhawk24791 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

One of my favourite movies.

[–]Blackhawk247970 points71 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Having 50 people show up at your funeral is also, well, better than no one showing up.

Of all the retarded reasons I’ve seen to get married, this has to be the stupidest.

The fuck you care how many people turn up at your funeral? You’re fucking dead.

Besides, you can touch other people’s lives and make a difference enough for them to turn up when you die without wifing a hoe.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The fuck you care how many people turn up at your funeral? You’re fucking dead.

Hey, when you get married, you adjust your aspirations. #SquadGoals #FuneralAttendance

[–]TheGweatandTewwible19 points20 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Genius take, my dude, but I think he was referring to having a family that gives a shit if he dies. Not that he literally cares about people attending while he's dead since, y'know, it's physically impossible to care about people attending.

Besides, you can touch other people’s lives and make a difference enough for them to turn up when you die without wifing a hoe.

It's literally what he said minus the wife.

[–]Blackhawk2479-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes, thank you captain obvious - that was my point.

You can have 50 people at your funeral (if you care about that shit) who genuinely care about you, without them being there because they are family.

[–]TheGweatandTewwible-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know. I was pointing out you said nothing new and that there wasn't much difference to begin with.

[–]beginner_3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Of all the retarded reasons I’ve seen to get married, this has to be the stupidest.

The fuck you care how many people turn up at your funeral? You’re fucking dead.

so true. besides that most of those 50 people are only their because of obligation or their wife's told them to be there.

[–]redhorndog3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree I think funerals are stupid.

I dont attend funerals since they wont attend mine. /s

[–]noNooodleArms0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The fuck you care how many people turn up at your funeral? You’re fucking dead.

Right?

Also, when I'm finally laid up, I'd rather have memories of all the parties and good times. Of course, I'll be under my barbell until then.

[–]PM__ME__STEAM_CODES0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

He's saying you'll have 50 people that care about you

[–]Protocol_Apollo12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And this can’t happen outside of marriage?

If you think about it , without marriage, it will be the opposite.

You have more time building connections with others and hanging out with them rather than your wife/kids.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 41 points42 points  (21 children) | Copy Link

With the right woman

*Some restrictions apply. Offer not valid in all areas. All warranties void.

marriage is infinitely rewarding.

What about the 53% of marriages that end in divorce? If I said, "Hey, let's go skydiving tomorrow and don't worry - the chutes open almost half the time!" You'd tell me to go fuck myself. (Hat Tip: Bill Burr).

Then there's the marriages that don't end in divorce, but still suck. Then there's the ones that are just ok. So to get good to "infinitely rewarding", how lucky to you have to be? 1 in 20?

Try playing with a 3 year old who is looking at you like you are a god.

I'm fairly sure that I don't need validation from 3 year olds.

Also, with the right wife, it is easier to get rich, not harder. Speaking from experience here.

And with the wrong one it is waaaaaay easier to get broke. And faster.

But I am so glad I got married many years ago

Hey, good for you, I'm glad you're happy. But what % of married guys are?

instead of just playing around and messing with sluts.

LOL. Sluts are AWFUL. Hey, I keep a roster of intelligent, talented, beautiful girls. And if I release them back into the wild, I don't get divorce raped.

[–]Not_You123416 points17 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Why is he getting downvoted? He is talking facts.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The Deep Blue programming is tough to root out.

[–]BitchesBrew_MF13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

His post is drawing out all the purple pillers

[–]mugeji4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is a typical story about two people seeing a half full/empty glass of water.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[removed]

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Go over to MRP and ask around.

[–]BitchesBrew_MF8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The haters have you on their crosshairs Father Zaitzev, you’ve attracted all the trad cons. Many still think they have a vested interest in the plantation.

Keep doing what you’re doing sir.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The haters have you on their crosshairs Father Zaitzev

It wouldn't be the first time.

you’ve attracted all the trad cons.

I don't mind the tradcons. At least they don't want me dead - they just think I should "find a good woman and get married."

Keep doing what you’re doing sir.

Thank you sir.

[–]ImAlmostCooler2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m glad you’re actively responding to these pro-marriage comments, there’s a stupid amount of them in this thread and most of their logic is downright brain dead.

Honestly, tradcons are the worst poison on this forum.

[–]WB2E2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

If you were to get married, do you think you'd be one of the 50% eventually divorced, or the 25% married but unhappy, or perhaps the 1 in 20 that has a rewarding marriage?

I think it's safe to say that you're smart, high value, and will make a very good decision on who you marry. You'll also continue to be high value after marriage, always pumping dread, and befriending girls just in case. In other words, it's safe to say you'd have a phenomenal wife who is kept in check and hence a rewarding marriage.

I feel the same way and believe a lot of RP guys can achieve this with a true RP mindset and life.

[–]juddshanks8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep the whole point of TRP is high value is high value whatever the setting.

I hate reading posts on here which tell people how they are and arent supposed to think. If you're a real man you'll objectively assess what matters to you and make your own decisions, not base it on several stream of consciousness pages by someone wanting to justify their own choices and convince themselves anyone who isn't living as a bachelor must be deluded or miserable.

Look, if you want to spend your life slaying poon, good luck to you, there's nothing wrong with that.

But there's also nothing weird or stupid about wanting to settle down and have kids, its a basic evolutionary imperative, it makes sense from a practical standpoint when you realise sooner or later you are going to get old, lose some of your sex drive and get more of a sense of contentment from family.

And if you do want to have a family the chances of you successfully raising a normal well balanced child outside of a committed relationship are low. As a never ending stream of fuckup single mums have demonstrated, it's really really hard to do on your own.

Where a lot of guys go wrong is by assuming that once they're married they can let their value slip. Sorry, but if you want a happy, productive relationship, hell, if you want to be a father capable of raising good kids, you need to keep practising good habits the rest of your life.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 13 points14 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I feel the same way and believe a lot of RP guys can achieve this with a true RP mindset and life.

So in other words, you feel the same way that every guy who gets married feels.

Go read Romantics of the Red Pill: Billy Beta and the Disney Girl.

[–]WB2E0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes I feel the same way every guy who gets married feels, but every guy who gets married isn't red pilled, in fact 95% of men who get married are some form of low-value, beta, unattractive, weak, or unintelligent. Makes sense only 5% of marriages are rewarding.

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I think that RP mindset is mostly awesome for success, and marriage

I see where you went wrong. Look, I'm happy for guys who are married and happy, but you are going to discover that you can't use Red Pill Tools to fulfill your blue pill dreams.

(do not pester your wife with abundance mentality)

Oh, I dunno about that. Go over to MRP and ask about how to get out of a "Dead Bedroom" situation.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]itiswr1tten0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Marriedredpill

[–]Whisper9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

TRP is not for tourists. You have a right to express your opinion, but not on the platform I made for another purpose.

You're either:

  1. Here to help men gain control over their sex lives.
  2. Here to get that help.
  3. Gone.

Welcome to option #3.

[–]itiswr1tten7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you. The tradcon hamstering on this post was unreal.

[–]LethalShade2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What's your advice in picking a good partner and having a marriage that's better than the miserable torture that a lot of men seem to be afraid of here?

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I see this type of question over in askTRP all the time:

Rube: "Dear AskTRP: First time, long time. I really want to put a lit stick of dynamite up my ass. I know I shouldn't, but I really want to. What is the safest way to do it? I will take my answer off-air."

AskTRP: "No, do not put a lit stick of dynamite up your ass. There is no 'safe' way."

[–]ilikecandycrush182 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A marriage is a contract whereby you voluntarily agree to give up half your assets if you want to break up with a girl.

It is the anti-thesis of redpill. That entire thread reeks of one-i-tis and men who are stuck in their marriage and who are unable to see the truth due to cognitive dissonance.

[–]redhorndog2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

https://i.imgur.com/3USgt2g.jpg?fb

First, babies SUCK. They cry and poop a lot. Your marital satisfaction will drop through the fucking floor. Second, you don’t want “children”, what you want is adults who are your genetic progeny who are “cool” by which I mean: have not turned out to be defective in some way – retarded, meth heads, criminals, assholes, etc.

Dont forget vomit. Second point is spot on for most people.

Also people want a child so they can live their dreams through the child.

Plus you dont need to be married to have children.

[–]when_its_too_late2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well written shit right here by the great soviet sniper. This guy shoots words like bullets boi.

Anywhoo. I just married off 2 of my best friends. The first, I haven't seen since the wedding. At all. Its been a year, I can count on my fingers how many times I've heard/seen/got a text from the guy. The second, only calls me over when the wife is at work, and when she's on her way home. She doesn't like me. You know why? Because he had a house warming party 2 weeks before they got married, and I picked up her friend who she invited who was young hot and single (unlike her) and because I drank with all the other single dudes and we all got wasted and had a fucking blast, hell I even paid for my own booze bitch so fuck off! He runs to my place because he knows he can fucking RELAX. Seriously, I've offered a ton of activities, he won't even play some golf which takes next to no energy.

Everyone I know is trying to marry me off and holy shit do they offer me some options. 1 is a psychopathic manipulating mastermind, the second is half retarded half ugly, the third...you get the drift.

You know whats great about all this? I am a walking BANK. Every dude I know asks me for money, why? Because marriage expenses. Of course they always pay me back, but the sums they borrow are north of 1000$. Why? Because they know I have the dough. It's not like I need much in life anyways, steady grind into early retirement, lay low and I'll make it. But these guys? Yeah. Retirement just isn't gonna happen in 2060 or whatever year you think you can retire in.

[–]dingleburry_joe2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

When you gonna write a book haha "the sayings of chairman Zaitsev"

[–]ACE-JHN3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I love when this guy makes a post.

Edit: most of the married guys commenting about how great it is have to say that because they are out of options. It’s not like they can leave.

[–]redytosell2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bingo, suddenly all of their wives are not like other women. Shows you how controlled people are.

If you are married, you are trapped

[–]TheGweatandTewwible11 points12 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

OP's post summarized:

"baby make stinky poo poo and you havez to spendz money on them :-("

I don't understand why you're trying so hard to convince dudes not to have kids. If you want kids, you know all the baggage that comes with it; including divorce rape and naggy wives (if you're not keeping them in check). I agree that marriage can become a mine field but there doesn't seem to be much else to do, considering gals can STILL take you to court if you're still gf/bf with kids.

But guys like me are still going to fuck younger, hotter, tighter women than you

You get to fuck vapid whores? Damn, I guess you changed their minds. Jokes aside, I don't understand how this is an argument. First of all, if the desire is so much and your gal isn't putting out like she should, you can still get some side. Beyond that, if you want a child or a wife, again, you HAVE to know what you're getting into. This is pretty much TRP 101.

Bizarrely, I still agree. Marriage is a horrible deal but I don't think suppressing a desire to start a family is the way, either.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 15 points16 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

I don't understand why you're trying so hard to convince dudes not to have kids.

Look. I don't care what other guys do. They are free to get married, have kids, not do either.

What I am trying to do is point out All The Facts. There are plenty of guys who are ready to march off that cliff and wind up getting crushed in a divorce that they never saw coming, even though they "did everything right." Guys with kids who aren't assholes will tell you that being a dad is awesome. But nobody tells you about having a meth head kid, either, and that can happen also. Also, guys will say "I want haz kids!" to avoid confronting the facts of marriage, i.e. the obscenely high failure/suckiness rate. Do whatever the fuck you want, but do it with your eyes OPEN.

You get to fuck vapid whores?

Ahh, yes, shaming language. I assure you, sir, that my vapid whores are neither vapid, nor whores. But people making the counter-argument HAVE to call them names to denigrate my lifestyle to protect their own, precious blue pill beliefs.

you can still get some side.

Good luck with that. Better hope wifey doesn't find out. Wives frown on that kind of thing. It makes them go see divorce lawyers.

Beyond that, if you want a child or a wife, again, you HAVE to know what you're getting into.

What I'm SAYING bro'. Do you just not like my writing style?

Marriage is a horrible deal but I don't think suppressing a desire to start a family is the way, either.

Look, drop bombs like the Luftwaffe if you want. But guys use "Me want kidz!" to willfully blind themselves to the shit deal that they are signing up for.

[–]TheGweatandTewwible1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Fair enough, since I agree with most of what you said. Maybe I don't "like" your writing style, cause it came off as super preachy.

"Shaming language" lolwut. 97% of women out there are vapid (and to be fair, humans in general). Take a 5 minute stroll through instagram and you'll see the proof. Sex with tight gals is great and all, but it gets to the point where it's like eating junk food.

[–]Protocol_Apollo5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Sex with tight gals is great and all, but it gets to the point where it's like eating junk food.

Nigga what?

Having sex with young women is the best kind of sex.

In what way is it bad?

Answer: it’s not, you are just projecting your ideals.

Men value femininity, innocence and youth.

Young, tight women fit all of this.

Old women almost fit the exact opposite.

Don’t believe me?

Which would you rather have:

  1. A 20 year old virgin.

  2. A 40 year old that’s had 3 kids.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

PREACH!

[–]TheGweatandTewwible0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Lol where the hell did I say that a used up 40 year old hag is better? I'm just saying that banging hundreds of tight girls for the rest of my life doesn't seem like a worthy "goal" to me. But of fucking course an 18 yo wet and willing virgin is better than a 40 year old.

Let me rephrase what I said: Hot young gals are steaks. But you can eat all the steak you want and you'll still end up fat.

[–]Protocol_Apollo1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lol where the hell did I say that a used up 40 year old hag is better?

When you compared young pussy to junk food.

When you compare young pussy to junk food, you are saying that there is better type of food that isn’t young pussy.

This is patently untrue.

Young pussy is creme de la creme

I'm just saying that banging hundreds of tight girls for the rest of my life doesn't seem like a worthy "goal" to me.

This is fair enough.

Hot young gals are steaks. But you can eat all the steak you want and you'll still end up fat.

I don’t quite understand your point.

But steak is still the best right? I hope you aren’t trying to say old pussy is comparable to something better than steak (ie better than young pussy).

If you want a ltr/marriage that’s fine.

But in terms of a PURELY sexual experience, no matter which way you cut it, young pussy is ALWAYS better than old pussy.

Every time.

There may be advantages of trying to stick with one girl and grow old with her but what I have mentioned will always be an inherent disadvantage.

She will never be sexier than in her twenties.

[–]TheGweatandTewwible0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Again, never said that old pussy is better than young pussy. It boils down to what I said that it's not a worthy goal for me.

Meaning, yeah, it's fun to bang a young, crazy and quirky gal but it ain't fulfilling to me, hence the junk food comparison. It's a nice little thing to snack on every now and then but eventually, meh.

But in that regard of age, yeah, young puss is top shelf steak. In terms of feeling like it's worth my time to invest to bust a nut in young women, however, there's a hundred other things that are higher quality steak for me, e.g. meditating, playing music, my purpose, etc.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

cause it came off as super preachy.

In general it's more "gonzo". A lot of people dig it, but there are some who don't.

Shaming language" lolwut. 97% of women out there are vapid

But nobody says "Your wives are vapid!" it's just used as a put down for women guys bang and don't marry.

Sex with tight gals is great and all, but it gets to the point where it's like eating junk food.

To the contrary, it's like having a nice healthy meal, instead of one past it's sell-by date.

[–]TheGweatandTewwible0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

But nobody says "Your wives are vapid!" it's just used as a put down for women guys bang and don't marry.

Gotta disagree a bit, one of TRP's main gospels is that AWALT (which is one for the most part I agree with). But again, fair enough.

But that's your take, brother. Now I understand more where you're coming from, though

[–]ebaymasochist3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

. Also, guys will say "I want haz kids!" to avoid confronting the facts of marriage, i.e. the obscenely high failure/suckiness rate. Do whatever the fuck you want, but do it with your eyes OPEN.

Isn't a major part of this sub being aware of how shitty and average most people are in most aspects of life? It's not a law of nature that 50% of people have to be terrible at something so that the other 50% can succeed, but it is pretty much a law of mathematics that 50% of people will be the bottom 50%. You might be completely right about marriage having major draw backs but guys that are trying to improve themselves and be much better than average are not going to give up on something just because a lot of other people have failed before. I mean you're probably aware that there were other people trying to build flying machines before and during the time the Wright Brothers came along and found success. They were risking their lives in their planes. If they had the mentality that they would fail just because everyone else had, not even just half, but all...

There are plenty of reasons not to do things, but other people's sad stories should not keep you from doing what you want to do.

A legitimate reason to not get married: you are almost definitely tied to that area if she has family there. You can't just drop everything and move around the world because that means her leaving her parents and siblings behind, and a lot of women do not want to do that.

[–]SeasonedRP1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Here's what you are missing: improving yourself and being better than average won't matter. The things you think will give you better odds of having a great marriage in fact won't. The OP's been around long enough to see this happen, and is warning younger men. Many of us who've also been around a while have seen or experienced the same things.

[–]ebaymasochist1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Making a marriage work might be completely different from making 20 other things work. It's a different mission with different tasks.

Writing a long post about how married men are seemingly forced into working 8 hours overtime each week for money they'll never get to enjoy, and only have friends who their wife chooses for them is kind of silly on a sub for men who are taking control of their lives. I've met good, successful men through my recently failed LTR who I genuinely enjoyed hanging out with and being around, and I lost friends who I no longer related to, while keeping other long term friends, through my own free will. None of that was because I signed my life over to the woman to control.

And it's not like those 53% of failed husband's would be guaranteed success and happiness outside of marriage either. Unhappy people usually find a way to stay unhappy. Again I'm not even advocating for marriage, just saying this post makes a lot of assumptions to reinforce beliefs that should still come down to personal choice

[–]beginner_1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

but there are plenty of parents who would love a “do over” on their kids

that's probably the reason the kids are fucked up to begin with because the parents had a certain plan for them (how they should be) which obviously turned out completely different.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Maybe. But sometimes the kids are fuckups, too.

[–]TAPEWlRM1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Never been married but sounds like a scam to me.

[–]KingOfPomerania1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Marriage, for men, is good initially and then absolutely shit over the long-term. Marriage, for women, is good initially and long-term. There is no reason for a man to get married unless he's a masochist.

[–]GraveyardZombie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Problem with marriage is that the moment you have to pull through for the other person, you loose. The person who apologizes first, looses. Basically the one who shows it needs the other the most, looses. You don’t have to show anyone your worth. And take heed because its not about leaving the bitch, its about getting back up from all that shit while child support and alimony takes your money. Its hard to move up financially when working two jobs barely keeps you above water.

[–]DanielMckinly1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Preach. Wanted to read something similar for such a long time. Who wants kids? kidsarefvckingstu*id Contemplating If I should send this to my girlfriend :>

[–]RedDeadlift1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Excellent post and 100% accurate. I always appreciate your posts and this one is no different. Every once in awhile I do need a reminder of these facts, so thank you.

[–]CCP_Started_Pandemic1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Good luck finding a woman worthy of bearing your children who is okay with doing it outside of legal marriage. That’s a unicorn. 99% of women aren’t even LTR material, let alone mother material. And that small subset that is mother material is going to want a rock on the finger beforehand.

The fact is that if you don’t want kids then you shouldn’t get married. But if you do want to start a healthy family, you’re going to have to bite the bullet. Just be sure to get a prenup.

[–]acoltismypassport1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This is something that many of these 'you don't need to get married to do that [have a child/children]' mouthpieces don't seem to understand.

You will never find a quality, sensible, intelligent, respectful woman who will bear your child without some sort of massive commitment, i. e.: marriage. Given how severely TRP speaks out against single mothers, I'm surprised so many of the cunts on here conveniently ignore that fact.

Tell me, wise men of TRP who have knocked up a bitch without a ceremony - how did that work out? I'm sure she's a high quality woman with no poor decision making skills...

For anyone wondering, I am not married, and not on the track. I would however consider it.

[–]Irene_90 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You will never find a quality, sensible, intelligent, respectful woman who will bear your child without some sort of massive commitment

Maybe you are not alpha enough? I have met several women who seriously offered to bear my child. The most recent one is newly married with a graduate degree and is quite attractive (solid 7). She already said she won't force me to assign the Acknowledgment of Paternity. (I rejected though. I don't want her husband to one day find out and put a bullet in me.)

[–]acoltismypassport-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Married and open to you dropping a load inside her. She sounds top quality bro, how did you find her? Maybe I can be as alpha as you someday.

/s

[–]THE_EVIL_EYE_IS_REAL1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks uncle Vas, much respect

[–]Irene_91 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is one of my favorite articles, Uncle Vasiliy.

This also brings out Black Dragon's recommended Arnold Schwarzenegger model of becoming an alpha (Total Recall: The Autobiography of Arnold Schwarzenegger). BD actually mentioned it too in the 12 Steps article's comment section, "That means age 40 or 50 for most men. Details here."

[–]Street_rat24261 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Marriage is literally an all lose situation for men. My biggest fear in life is getting divorce raped, having my ex wife convince my kids I'm a terrible person, and spending half of my earnings on boob jobs and yoga classes so she can fuck other men.

But I cant help but shake this fear that if I dont ever have kids, it's basically just me saying "you know what, I'm the 10000th generation human, naw dawg I'm just going to let my bloodline and supreme Arian genetics die out."

But seriously, I'm never getting married.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Marriage is literally an all lose situation for men.

I think Karen Strauhgn put it this way: "It's not that a particular women WILL {wreck a guy in court}, it's that ANY woman COULD." It's super high risk.

But I cant help but shake this fear that if I dont ever have kids, it's basically just me saying "you know what, I'm the 10000th generation human, naw dawg I'm just going to let my bloodline...

So, let me preface this with "If you want to have 100 kids, go have 100 kids". That said, why is everyone so obsessed with their bloodline? There are PLENTY of humans. And one day the sun is going to burn out, expand, fry the shit out of the Earth, and nothing is going to matter. So really, what's the big deal? Is it just animal instinct?

[–]Street_rat24263 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I honestly dont think I could give you a good reason as to why I feel the need to not let my genes die out besides it being instinct. Thanks for the post, I always enjoy reading your content.

[–]itiswr1tten0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Arian

You believe Jesus wasn't divine?

[–]MasculineRP2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

It's always great to have a civil discussion on a post, but I can't believe how many people are flaming you for your view on this. I always thought the majority of TRP got the fact that marriage under today's terms is just stupid.

Solid post, always a good reminder that there aren't any unicorns out there, and it's always just your turn. Nothing more, nothing less.

[–]HorvathRed2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You have to keep in mind TRP has over 1 million and 700 thousand subscribers now, which represents a way bigger number of infiltrated bloops in denial and guys struggling to swallow the pill than when the sub had 50k people. So of course "baiting" them brings out the vocal crowd.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

To be fair, I was not trying to bait anyone, beyond pointing out that, if they are just LARPing TRP and then are going to willingly enter into a legal marriage, and thing that they are going to use TRP tools and "everyone is going to make it", then that's a recipe for trouble.

[–]HorvathRed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know you weren't, it's just that these people are inherently baited by red pill revelations. Indeed, anyone who read the sidebar knows using red pill tools to achieve blue pill goals is a fool's endeavour. Which is why it's easy to spot the concern trolls.

[–]MasculineRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeh I understand that, it just baffled me. Marriage is basically red pill 101 on what to not do.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's always great to have a civil discussion on a post, but I can't believe how many people are flaming you for your view on this.

Oh, I can. I knew I was kicking over the beehive. The blue in people runs deep. Nobody likes being forced to confront reality, when they would rather live in the delusion.

I always thought the majority of TRP got the fact that marriage under today's terms is just stupid.

It is. But everyone thinks they're going to be the exception. Some will be right, of course, but statistically very few.

[–]TeamLitten3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I have always had a problem with this communities views on marriage. I’m 17 so I have a lot of time but maybe you can help me through some problems I got. You see, I feel like when I’m older (35+) not being married would make me extremely lonely. Like the no marriage lifestyle is completely correct through the majority of your 20s and even early 30s but won’t it get lonely after you’ve grown old? Also I still feel like I want a family when I’m older, maybe I’m wrong idk I’m young and still got a lot to learn

I feel like this world has a lot of risks. Marriage is the biggest risk but if you do it right, it can reap the best rewards. Like what am I gonna do when I’m a 35+ year old guy who doesn’t have anyone in life that actually cares about me. (I doubt I’m gonna be able to get girls when I’m old). Idk marriage is confusing

I do know that you gotta be smart in marriage though, like with prenups and shit haha

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 14 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Look. You've got plenty of time to figure shit out. Do that, and then do what's right for you.

You see, I feel like when I’m older (35+) not being married would make me extremely lonely.

I'm not lonely at all. And you can be lonely in a marriage also. Guys night out? Nope. And you're only going to be hanging with those friends who are on her "Approved" list. I've seen it happen.

if you do it right

IF

You realize every divorce-raped busted minivan driving, living at the Motel 6, worked 90 hours a week to pay alimony and child support while his ex bangs other guys and teaches his kids to hate him thought that he had found "The One", right?

[–]DarkenedCentrist7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And you can be lonely in a marriage also

This is the big one. Sure, a good marriage is great if you get it. But you will literally never be more lonely than if you get married to someone who slowly morphs into a harpy that hates your guts once the shine of being married wears off.

Not only will your romantic life be unsatisfying, but it will seriously stunt your ability to have fulfilling friendships also. Then you get to be poor (and probably ostracized by whatever circle you had) when she gets tired of it.

[–]TeamLitten6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I understand your points. I think for now it’s better if I live in the present and focus on improving myself. Thinking about marriage at my age has no purpose. As you said, I got time to figure it out so for now I’m gonna enjoy the life of not being tied down to anything

[–]ShakerAndMover3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

LMAO your hitting em hard and quick they cant take it!

[–]alikebabay2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

(I doubt I’m gonna be able to get girls when I’m old). It is hard now and then the declining health does not help. But the current situation tells that if you could not get girls at 35+, guess what: you wife would not also want to be with you sexually. But in that case you wont be able to just walk.

[–]Irene_90 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Marriage will make you even more lonely. Women are horrible companions and it's more tolerable to spend time debating politics with a neighbor that has an opposite view than going on a vacation to Hawaii with a woman for free.

If you don't want to be lonely, make male friends. Make a lot of them, and find out those who are worthy to be your close friends.

[–]TeamLitten0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The importance of male friends, they really are the best. I'm happy, grateful, and lucky that I have them

[–]FuckJanitors1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Marriage is shit because the west is shit. In other, more traditional cultures marriage is a hell of a better deal.

Modern culture is a cancer that needs to be uprooted. If not, then its over for western civilisation.

[–]Airny495460 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

To each their own. It all comes down to the tone that’s been set. I’d say If you walk into a relationship/ marriage with a red flags about that person that isn’t addressed you need to address it beforehand and if it doesn’t, move on. Finding someone who can support your dreams, encourage you to do good, cares about your family, your morals etc. is the foundation to a successful marriage. Not depending on someone is key as well. Not just financially but find someone who can complement your lifestyle. Keep it front of mind that a marriage while it is supposed to be a ‘forever’ thing, can come to one or the other walking out. That’s why communication and a stoic personality is important because if you talk things out you can decide where the relationship is going instead of letting things build into bigger problems.

[–]dspjm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

But the article you post says that men should have children after 40. I agree with him more.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I got married id wait till after they’re 30 years old. Or a single mom my wife doesn’t have custody of her kids so we had one of our own. My wedding cost was 80$ and she bought her own dress.

Marriage is for gaining off spring that’s the only benefit I see. I have a 7 month old and yes babies fucking suck. I let my wife deal with it while I go to work.

[–]BrownGummyBear0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree babies suck, that’s why I want to adopt. I would love to raise a couple (or more if I have to money) of boys by myself.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I will only contemplate marriage after enjoying sexual abundance and then perhaps marry a beautiful and nice woman.

I simply can't understand men who marry ugly/fat women or sluts. It's my definition of insanity.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m not interested in this life. There is not much to it. The world doesn’t excite me. What’s the point

So you're going to go the "There's this one girl" route?

I simply can't understand men who marry ugly/fat women or sluts.

Lack of abundance. Fear of being alone. Those are the big two.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The irony is that the fear of being alone will either make you settle for a subpar woman or in the best case scenario with a more beautiful woman but you'll get transactional sex once a month and most likely get cheated on.

I can't understand this, well I can understand but I don't respect a man who chooses the easy path, good thing they pay dearly for that mistake.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you mean Peter Pan, but OK.

[–]Throwmeaway454588880 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Posts like this make me thing you guys are all kind of retarded. I do agree - marriage is dicey. Its not for everyone and it certainly doesnt always work out. But marriage and the family structure is a huge part of western civilization. If you have any interest in having kids then you should probably find someone you can have a successful marriage with. Just don't jump straight into one or feel like you have to because you're a certain age.

[–]metryingtobe0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for the rant it was very eye opening. My take on it as a woman is not to fuck guys who don't wanna marry me anymore and encourage my girls not to do so either.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Then you missed the point. If you want men to be more willing to marry, then you should consider the effect of draconian divorce laws on men's choices.

[–]metryingtobe0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't live in US, and in my country we don't have your divorce rules. But still if I was living in US, Id be against these rules. I want life long relationship and commitment, I don't want free money.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

The difficulty in the US, as Karen Straughn wrote, is not that any particular woman will run a false-DV/child abuse/whatever drill on on a man, get him kicked out of the house (making it easier for her to keep it in the divorce), and asset-mine him, it's that any woman can.

There are a lot of guy on TRP who hope to have a lifelong marriage/committed relationship - just check out my "Billy Beta and the Disney Girl" post - but guys also look at how commoditized marriage and family have become and say "no, ma'am" and opt out. The risk is just too great.

[–]metryingtobe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I see your point, I hope they reconsider these rules.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

You're wrong about men won feminism, because the result is the point of the corporations and governments pushed it. the nuclear family is stable, men and women both win. In the modern west we both lose due to instability

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I prefer that to feminism, but once the pussy cartel was broken, we come out ahead.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

No we don't. Our sons are more likely to grow up with a split household, and worse yet raised by single mothers, the single largest negative influence on society

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are missing the point: it's not "Oh, feminism is way better than the TradCon Golden Age that came before it", it's about who is better off in the present moment.

[–]MattyAnon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you are single and have kids there is no financial incentive for her to leave.

If you marry and have kids she can make a big stack of your $$$ (past and future) just for leaving.

Marriage = Paying Her To Leave.

[–]nofappp0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

how can i be harmed in divorce, if she makes good money?

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Go get divorced and find out.

[–]nofappp0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm already divorced but it was amicable

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

You were lucky.

[–]nofappp0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm asking for the worst case scenario if she has her own money

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Go ask a lawyer in your state.

[–]The_Turbinator-4 points-3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I read the whole post, and you sound very miserable and angry at the fact that there are people out there with marriages that work.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You have completely missed the point, you don't get my writing style and you have your head up your ass.

I am happy for guys who are married and happy... but that's not most married guys.

[–]noNooodleArms2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

you sound very miserable and angry

The dude has slave girls. Miserable, angry men rarely have slave girls.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]VasiliyZaitzev[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

If you want to get married, and there is no chance of divorce rape, then that's fine, IMO. Assuming that you want to be married.

[–]le_wolfe-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Polarizing posts like these always have BPs crawling out of the woodworks. Uncle Vas just pulled off a GLO.

[–]IntelligenceLtd-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I agree your point dude but why do have to sound like a whiney 13 yo when you write it its hardly breaking the stereotype the only manchildren dont get married which isnt true.

[–]itiswr1tten6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good try refuting his writing style when you're personally unable to string a frantically correct sentence together.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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