The Problem of Marriage
From time to time I either read on AskTRP or someone pings me with a question about getting married “someday”. I’m not sure why “someday” is better other than it is not “now”. Maybe divorce-rape will be de-invented “someday”. I’m not sure what the logic to it is. Maybe guys think they are more likely to find their One Special Girl at 40 than they are at 20.
The most common “reason” is “I want haz leetle babiez!” First, babies SUCK. They cry and poop a lot. Your marital satisfaction will drop through the fucking floor. Second, you don’t want “children”, what you want is adults who are your genetic progeny who are “cool” by which I mean: have not turned out to be defective in some way – retarded, meth heads, criminals, assholes, etc. I have a buddy with three sons. One has some sort of mental fuckup or three, and #2 son likes to be high on more than life basically all the time. #3 might turn out ok. The jury is still out on him. Now, there are plenty of “good kids” too, but there are plenty of parents who would love a “do over” on their kids.
EDIT: So I'm getting some "You hate kids" or "You seem to want guys not to have kids!" in the comments. I do not care if guys have kids. Go have a fuck ton of kids. I don't care. I even linked Blackdragon's guide for safely having kids with a woman. That said, guys use "Me want kidz!" as en excuse to willfully blind themselves for the shit deal they are signing up for. Also, everyone will tell you that having kids is GREATTM but nobody talks about how their kid is fuck up, either. It's a risk. I'm just forcing people to confront it, and the tradcons and the "red on the outside, blue on the inside" crowd Does.Not.Like.It.
Also, news flash: YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO HAZ CHILDRENZ! Blackdragon (who I am not, but who I read from time to time) had a guide for this very thing: The 12 Steps To Safely Have Kids With A Woman.
And “Someday Charlie”, the guy who is going to “settle down” and “have kids” at 40 rather than 25? He sounds a lot like Mary Jo Rottencrotch who is going to ride the Cock Carousel until she hits the Epiphany Phase, and dismounts, taking with her the 1000 Cock Stare, some HPV and maybe another viral ‘souvenir’ or two.
Important: Marriage is FUCKING HARD. Get used to being nagged and saying “Yes, dear!” a lot, just to make the nagging stop. Even ‘best case’ it’s TRP Hard Mode. Just go ask the married guys on MRP. Even “normal” wives do crazy ass things for no reason. One woman I know who one would think of as “wife material” in general (positive attitude and still kind of hot in her late 30s after a couple of kids, so probably a catch back in the day) told me how she used to get so upset about her husband watching football on Sunday that she would go stomping through the house, start vacuuming, etc. This over three hours of watching his favorite team play, once a week. And she’s probably top 10% in the “non-psycho” wife category.
Who Wants You To Get Married?
Now, the Powers that Be would LOVE for you to get married, because married guys do things like get jobs, pay taxes and go into debt – in other words, married men are easier to control.
Prager U did a bit of a “shaming” piece entitled Be a Man. Get Married. They basically made an infomercial for MGTOW. It is pretty much a list of reasons NOT to get married. What’s the primary reason? Well, you will make more money. What they don’t tell you is WHO gets to spend that money. Start with your wife. And those kids you wanted. They are expensive as fuck. Married men maximize their income because they fucking have to.
Married men work about 400 hours more per year than unmarried men with similar backgrounds. That is 10x40 hour weeks! So they have less free time, and more money to spend – oops, scratch that, they won’t have more money for them to spend. But they do work 400 more hours. And who does that benefit again?
Not the guy.
Oh, and ask a married guy who is working an hourly job how many hours a week he works. It’s not going to be 40. They will pull extra shifts, etc., to bring home more $$. For someone else to spend. Who will then dump them because he “was always working.”
There’s also a trope about how men don’t make friends after college. Why? Because they are always fucking WORKING, that’s why. I have friends from childhood, friends from Uni, friends from playing in bands, friends from travel. Married guys don’t have friends. They just hang out with the husbands of their wives’ friends.
Married men were much less likely to quit their jobs without another one lined up. Translation: They are also more likely to stay in jobs they hate because they have to. Oh, and remember what I said about “easier to control”? Right, that bit again. And it’s not like we’re all “Old Economy Steve” who loses one job and then finds another on his way home.
“But Uncle Vazya, don’t married men get promoted more?” Sure, back in 1955. But now? Also as so many folks are divorced now (or never married) that just isn’t possible. If it became too much of a pattern, it would probably also be illegal. The feministas don’t like it because there used to be an idea that a man had to make a “family wage” because he had to support a family, whereas single men and women (whether married or not) would not. Try explaining that to the EEOC.
What’s So Great About Being A Bachelor? Don’t Bachelors Earn Less Money?
Maybe. But they get to keep 100% of what they earn (after the government takes its share, ofc). And they have 10 more work weeks of free time to use it. That’s 10 more work weeks of learning an instrument, playing in a band, learning a language, going on vacation or just chilling the fuck out.
I met an Uber driver once. He was in his early 60s, and had taken early retirement from the Navy. He lasted one - ONE - day at home. What happened? He took an afternoon nap on the couch…and his wife saw him. Then the “Honey Do” List came out. His first task was to clear out the brush behind the garage…you know, in case company comes and asks to check the “cleanliness” of the “behind the garage” area. This is in SoCal, during the summer, when it’s fucking hot and it’s brush, so he came back in sweaty and a bit cut up. So he signed up to be an Uber driver, and he uses his “Uber money” to pay some 20 year old kid to do that shit for him. He also told me, “And if I want to take a nap, I pull into a parking lot and I take a fucking nap.”
Imagine being retired from a long career and finally getting some well-deserved rest and then not being able to take a nap in your own house without getting rousted awake for chores. Tell me that’s “winning”.
Single guys? They get to do Whatever They Want, All The Time.
Look, I’m not saying “Go play vidja, smoke up, jack off and eat Cheetos all the time”, but you should be living your life for you and not what’s best for everyone else. Work on yourself, become the best version of yourself you can be, figure out your mission, set goals, and go achieve them.
Some years ago, I read an article by some fancy Harvard economist about how women were so much smarter than men because they were getting degrees and men were not. What Mr. SmartyPants didn’t figure out is, if you aren’t getting married, and you only have to support 1 person, and you don’t need a big house n’shit, suddenly you don’t need nearly as much money. What does that mean? It means you don’t have to take on $400K of student loan debt to get a degree in “Oppression Studies” that doesn’t get you a job that supports that level of debt – I sit on the hiring committee where I work and I Will Not Fucking Hire You if you have some gay-ass degree that ends in “Studies”. That shit tells me that you are going to be a malcontent. There are people I graduated University with who still had student loan debt bigger than their mortgage (if they even had a mortgage; many couldn’t afford to buy because: student loans). They might have it paid off just in time to take out loans for their kids.
Guess who doesn’t have crushing loans? The guy who went to trade school, has a marketable skill and didn’t rack up $$$ to get there. Plus he has a trade so he’s not going to go hungry.
I’m not against University, provided you have an idea of what you’re doing. If I had a kid who went to Uni with an “undeclared” major, I’d tell him he had a week to figure some shit out I was pulling him out of Uni. If he chose some useless major, then I’d say “Great, you can pay for it, or I can choose a second major for you in ‘You Will Thank Me For This Later’.” Too many kids go to Uni now, who don’t belong there, or who treat it like it is Really Expensive Summer Camp, Only Not In The Summer.
Men Won Feminism
Linda Gordon: “the nuclear family must be destroyed… Whatever its ultimate meaning, the break-up of families now is an objectively revolutionary process.”
So when the Feministas decided that they needed to break the nuclear family – and they were all in on that – they also freed men. How?
They broke the Pussy Cartel.
(Note: We also won when we convinced women that pole dancing was exercise.)
Back in the day, the easiest way to (theoretically) have regular access to sex was to get married. No longer. Now the SMP is wide open. I realize it may not seem that way to younger guys, because your need for sex is so great and women are deluged on social media with validation from thirsty betas, but in the long run, we come out ahead.
How so? Guys who work to Become the Prize and avoid dumb shit like smoking, drugs, too much booze and (for older guys) women their own age will do just fine. Hell, I have fucking slave girls. Would I have slave girls if I was married? Wives generally frown on that sort of thing.
And don’t listen to the “But what about when you’re OLD…aren’t you afraid of dying ALONE?” First, what about the Right Now? Did I mention I have slave girls? Second, never negotiate out of fear of what you think the “worst possible scenario”. Think in terms of your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) and if your BATNA is better than an agreement (in this case a marriage) then bail on the negotiated agreement and go with the BATNA. Third, what are your options? Get married, and have a 50+% chance of that ending in divorce – then you get to “die alone” with no $. If you stay married, well good for you, but some marriages suck, and some are just ok. You have maybe a 1 in 5 or 1 in 10 chance of being in the “Good to Great” zone. Good for you. But guys like me are still going to fuck younger, hotter, tighter women than you, and if they leave or I boot them out, I keep 100% of my stuff and I’m not paying a woman alimony and child support (for which there is zero accountability) to live in a house I paid for, fuck other guys and teach my kids to hate me.
Look. I’m a “deal guy”. That means I know a shitty deal when I see one. With marriage, I see a lot of downside and not much upside. Life just isn’t Pleasantville.
Women Kill Your Dreams
You’ve heard of the famous Wright Brothers, right? Reuchlin and Lorin Wright. Wait, what? Something doesn’t seem correct? Don’t I mean Orville and Wilbur? No I mean their older brothers Reuchlin and Lorin Wright. You’ve never heard of them? Probably because they got married and their wives nagged them into getting jobs down at the lumberyard or the tool & die and they didn’t do anything cool like INVENT THE FUCKING AIRPLANE. That’s why you’ve never heard of them.
You can’t use Red Pill Tools to fulfill your blue pill dreams, but you can use them to fulfill your Red Pill Dreams.
White Knights for Matrimony
So for a lot of guys in the 'pro-marriage' crowd, it's not enough to praise marriage, either because they have a good one, or because they are still living in a Deep Blue Dream, they have to shit on guys who live the Free Agent Lifestyle (Hat Tip: Coach Greg Adams). Why you guys gotta come at me like that bro'? I mean if marriage is so wonderful, you should be able to sell me on it without sneering that "It's better than just banging whores and sluts" or whatever. You sound like butthurt feminists.
Do I go at the 'pro-marriage' guys with "Hey, your Frame sucks so you took the coward's way out so you didn't lose your girl", or shit like that? No, I don't. I don't have to. There's more options out there than "whores and sluts". Guys can go legit MGTOW, they can keep a roster (as I do) they can maintain a red-pilled relationship with one woman without inviting the state in as a 3rd partner - and the state has been weaponized against men in family and divorce courts, make not mistake about it.
So if marriage is so great, make the sale. Don't criticize guys who aren't in a hurry to board the Titanic.
If You Still Want To Get Married
If you still want to get married, go punch yourself in the dick ten times.
Then go watch Divorce Corp. Divorce sucks and it’s a great way to go bankrupt – it’s the #4 cause of bankruptcy in the US.
If you still MUST get married and have kids, the time to do it is when you are young, so they have less chance of being genetically fucked up, and also because if your wife takes you down to the courthouse and asset-mines your ass, you have a much better chance of recovering at 35 than at 55. Have a plan to succeed. And have an escape plan for when she comes home and tell you that she doesn’t love you anymore and get your shit packed and get out or she’s calling 9-1-1 and claiming you hit her. She wants you gone…except for your wallet.
-Don’t get married.
-Marriage is a shit deal.
-Also, don’t get married.