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The Problems of Single Mothers

Rugby11
April 13, 2019
90 upvotes
/r/TheRedPill

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WvlT_6mpXg

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Post Information
Title The Problems of Single Mothers
Author Rugby11
Upvotes 90
Comments 74
Date April 13, 2019 8:55 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/the-problems-of-single-mothers.225815
https://theredarchive.com/post/225815
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/bcv5m9/the_problems_of_single_mothers/
Red Pill terms in post
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Comments

[–]Endorsed Contributormallardcove154 points155 points  (29 children) | Copy Link

You don't need a 2 hour long video to explain why single moms are bad.

Here is a quick explanation as to why they are bad: Abundance Mentality

When you have abundance mentality, you don't have to settle for a woman with kids. 3.5 billion women out there, surely you can find one who hasn't had any kids yet.

Yeah, you can talk about how they will never put you first and at best you will always come 3rd in her life, behind her kids and ex, and yeah, you can talk about how you will be encouraged to raise another man's kid(s), and yeah, her being a single mom shows that she is a terrible decision maker and has bad judgement, but the heart of it is abundance mentality. You find out she's a single mom, you next.

There, I saved you 2 hours.

[–]BobbyPeru48 points49 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

When you have abundance mentality, you don't have to settle for a woman with kids. 3.5 billion women out ther

When I was at the barbershop the other day, I overheard a 32 yr old man saying he was “too old to have kids, so he’ll probably do the stepdad thing.” I just sat there and literally shook my head.

[–]logles5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude I'm 34, and have my first who is 3 months old. "Too old for kids my ass"

[–]BluBlac591 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I didn't have any kids until I was 39 with a woman that is much younger and is one of the best looking women I've ever known.

[–]pacjax0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

that would be incredibly depressing to hear

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRStonePT23 points24 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

deleted What is this?

[–]GiraffeOnWheels-5 points-4 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

You really just suggested killing single mothers like wild animals is a solution? ......

[–]BuzzLightGear321 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy Link

How about suffering the consequences of their actions? Had a kid with a drug dealer that's in jail? Raise it yourself, no taxpayer help, or give up the kid to adoption for a functional family to raise it.

[–]GiraffeOnWheels9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

That's certainly more reasonable than slaughter.

[–]BuzzLightGear321 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

TBH Some will die from their own stupidity. I just won't be the one killing them off.

[–]Bird_Moat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Or if everyone just avoided single mothers, maybe future generations would think twice before having a child with a loser.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRStonePT14 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

deleted What is this?

[–]GiraffeOnWheels-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

That's not what cull means, and from the rest of your post it's obvious you meant what you said. I'm glad you at least have enough self awareness to back off of it though.

[–]modRedForEducation[M] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think we are done here, thanks

[–]mooksno0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You’re deliberately mis interpreting what he said so you can get on your soap box

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil20 points21 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

The real purpose isn't to explain why single mothers are bad, even though obviously they are. The real purpose is to unite while circle jerking about some external evil threat feeling solidarity in the process.

The Red Pill can be used to distract yourself in an idiology so you don't have to deal with the fact that you are a non-lifting beta. So that's whats happening in that video.

So congratulations I redpill y'all on the red pill.

[–]Endorsed Contributormallardcove12 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You just described MGTOW. A bunch of weak non lifters who circle jerk about how bad women are.

[–]1Your_Coke_Dealer6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I find myself going there because there’s more content (I admit it, Reddit is social media and I waste too much time on it some days), but I’ve noticed it’s become way worse than it used to be. The content is lower and lower quality. MGTOW used to be a logical counterpart to TRP, like basically all the self-improvement but without the emphasis on sexual strategy. Now it really seems to be turning into the next Incels sub

[–]Endorsed Contributormallardcove4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

MGTOW was never a logical counterpart. It's a volcel movement - its a bunch of men not having sex, but celebrate it and high five each other instead of lament and woe over it like incels do.

[–]miserablesisyphus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I could have sworn Donovan Sharpe mentioned having you as a guest on his youtube...

[–]1Your_Coke_Dealer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Abundance mentality is a reason why you don’t have to settle for a single mother. The rest of your reasons still remain necessary for many men though, because you have men with abundance mentalities who do stupid shit anyway.

Imagine your average overconfident teenage/early 20s guy. Say he’s a “natural alpha”, and hasn’t really done much consideration of getting married. Sure he can fuck, and has fucked, high school sluts, bar sluts, college sluts, and maybe office sluts, but that doesn’t preclude him from getting lazy and having girlfriends once in a while. After all, the mere ability to go out and get his dick wet with lower effort than most guys doesn’t mean he doesn’t get tired of going out.

Still an abundance mentality, but at major risk of losing it. And that’s why such men need a logical reason to not date single mothers; they’re high risk for comfort tests, which not every guy with an abundance mentality is used to

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This, 2 hours is too long! All their other videos is too long!

[–]L0neWolfAlpha35 points36 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

  1. You will never be first priority
  2. You will never be the father
  3. They want your bank account
  4. Say goodbye to sex
  5. If you get her pregnant, youd be better off kys

[–]_do_not_read_this_14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

  1. Who cares, they'll never be my first priority either. Women are literally #5 on my priority list, hell my dog is ranked above women.
  2. Don't want to be.
  3. Good luck.
  4. If I'm seeing a woman and the sex stops, I stop seeing the woman.
  5. Vasectomy.

[–]darkstar10318 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Of course it's a 2 hour video that someone thinks is the most profound bit of information that everyone must watch, when in reality it is just a waste of 2 hours to hit a few bullet points that have already been talked to death. Nah, I got better things to do with my 2 hours. Instead of watching this, I'll call one of my plates and drain my balls. And because this whole thing is bitching about single moms, I think I might just call the one that has kids, y'know, because it fits the theme.

[–]Frenetic_Zetetic2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Are there actually guys out there unicorn-ing single moms? We've gotten to this point, gents? We needs videos like this...? If you can't figure this out, a 2 hour video isn't going to save you.

[–]oldrunnerguy2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Why cover this subject in-depth? I think it is to provide a fair warning to our younger brothers to understand the dynamics of a woman who probably would have friend-zoned these men when she was a single woman, but now is so willing to enter a long-term relationship as a single mother. You really think you're being honorable in accepting another man's responsibility and that it will be appreciated by that woman. Don't be fooled, all she is concerned about is landing a long-term provider and manipulating that man for his resources. Just put a ring on that and you will see how she withholds love and intimacy just to extort more resources from you.

I speak from experience in marrying one of these females and eventually was divorced after trying to make it work for way too long. I jumped through way too many hoops that were not appreciated. Don't compromise yourself. Ask yourself whether she would be with you if she were only single. Women don't want you do that, I know my ex-wife didn't, and with good reason, the truth would have set me free. Apply logic and don't let a woman's emotions sway you or allow her to shame and manipulate you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I did the same as you. Ten years with a woman who already had 3 kids by late teens Chad. Man if I had that 10 years back.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

When I was 19 and a blue pill I once dated a gold digger slut single mom. She was five years older than me, after a long and a horrible relationship I dumped her. Never dated single mom again and never again! Single moms just to fuck and dump!

[–]thesquarerootof127 points28 points  (40 children) | Copy Link

This is one of the things that is a part of this community I don't like and is not fair. All the dating advice and advice about women here are true and helpful, I'm not disputing that. However, the criticism of single mothers here is not fair.

My father died when I was 5 and so I was raised by mother, as well as my sister who is about 10 years older than me. I had no choice to be a son of single mother, no one does. We get handed cards in life and we have to deal with them.

Granted I was a shitty teenager and I learned a lot of lessons the hard way, I highly respect my mom for being able to raise me even though my dad died. Her hard work and determination payed off the mortgage to our house and she now owns another one.

I turned out to be very masculine, I was in the Army for god sake. After the Army I studied hard and became very successful. Sure, the stats show that boys raised by single mothers don't turn out good, but most people including myself and no choice but to be raised by a single mom. It is not fair to assume all men who were raised by a single mom are all fuckups. How can you criticize single moms when most of us didn't have a choice and had to deal with life's cards ?

EDIT: My dumbass didn't watch the video because it was too long, although I have read criticism of single mothers here and on the Red Pill pdf that I have. You all make great points and I'm gonna apologize here for not being too informed on the subject. Widows are different but believe me, there were qualities about my mom I didn't like when she was dating (she dated maybe 4-5 guys when I was growing up, not at the same time of course). Most of her friends were single moms (usually divorcees) because she thought it was awkward hanging out with couples and such. I didn't have a father figure in my life and it kind of indirectly got me in trouble because my mom was not intimidating, although I highly regret acting like an ass to this day. I had to learn every guy thing on my own, including how to shave. Anyway, I appreciate the comments, it is an interesting conversation honestly....

[–][deleted] 80 points81 points  (23 children) | Copy Link

I think the people here criticize the rule not the exception. Most single mothers aren't single mothers because of a death. I wouldn't take it personally. Critique of social issues always requires generalization of some sort.

[–]MercyYouMercyMe54 points55 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nobody here or anywhere would criticize your mother. Your mother is a widow, not a "single mother" as commonly understood.

[–]Afghan_Whig22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A widow is not the single mothers we are talking about. Those are the ones who had a kid with Chad and now are pursuing a beta provider to pay for the kid

[–]jay_jay_man17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

In the video, they make the careful distinction between single mothers and widows. Their words are aimed at the women who decided to be single moms and those who picked men they knew would never settle down with them.

[–]Hjalmbere1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There are different types of widows too. Some women are widows because they married an out-of-control doper/drunk or a criminal scumbag. In other words serial bad decisionmakers.

[–]Endorsed Contributormallardcove8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

In this situation whatever man comes into her life next will never be able to measure up to her dead ex, and he will always be compared to him. Constantly.

Again, the root of it is abundance mentality. Let someone else get into a relationship with a woman with that kind of baggage. 3.5 billion women on this planet - surely you can find one who doesn't have kids.

If you are so thirsty that you have no other options besides a woman with kids and a dead ex husband, you need to work on gaining abundance.

[–]thesquarerootof15 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In this situation whatever man comes into her life next will never be able to measure up to her dead ex, and he will always be compared to him. Constantly.

I hate to admit this, but what you have said here was so true and my sister and I tell her that doing this is rude to her recent husband. They're still together after 7 years.

On another note, I would never date a woman with kids and I agree what you've said here.

[–]Mgtow_troaway6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your mother is a widow, you were raised by a widow not a single mother. I think most men here would agree avoiding widows for the sole reason that they are widows is pretty callous.

[–]ayhme2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Widows shouldn't be considered "single mothers". At least the TRP definition.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My father died when I was 5 and so I was raised by mother, as well as my sister who is about 10 years older than me. I had no choice to be a son of single mother, no one does. We get handed cards in life and we have to deal with them.

Right. Doesn't make your mother a good dating option though.

Most single moms are single for a reason: they got pregnant by Chad's who wouldn't stick around, or they got pregnant and treated the guy so badly he left.

99/100 times she was a shitty partner, shitty with contraception, tried to trap the father (oops I guess the birth control I intentionally forgot to take must have failed), found some made up reason to alienate the father, or made a terrible decision about who to have children with.

There's some terrible fathers out there too, but we're not dating them so it's not relevant to this discussion.

Look, there's exceptions. Circumstances change. Father getting killed. It happens. But these are exceptions that don't apply in the majority of cases.

Fundamentally as regards dating though: she's putting her kids first, you have no happy future together where she has (only) your kids, she has zero time or flexibility... her mind is always elsewhere...... and fundamentally she wants a replacement father for her children sooner or later. If she didn't she'd be a shitty mother and who wants to date one of those?

The male fantasy of the lonely single mom who just wants NSA sex on a weekend almost never happens in practice.

[–]cat_magnet2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Dude there is a huge difference between a single mother and a widower. I was also raised by a single mother but a real single mother not a widower. It fucked me up for sure but I have overcome it through self development.

[–]thesquarerootof11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It fucked me up for sure but I have overcome it through self development

You know, that is interesting because I was a deeply troubled teenager and I had no masculine authority so it kind of fucked me up as well to be honest. When you learn life lessons the hard way at an early age, it will make you become a better adult. I have friends that are my age (27) and still live with parents, so I'm kind of glad of what it turned me into. It's an interesting topic for sure....

[–]SuperCrazy072 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There’s a huge difference between a widow and a divorced woman (what most refer to as single mother).

A widow didn’t choose this. She didn’t leave her man because she was bored. Etc.

I probably wouldn’t choose either, myself, but I could understand a guy who married a widow who was a good person with bad luck. Other than that, hell no.

[–]Rugby11[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

However, the criticism of single mothers here is not fair.

My father died when I was 5 and so I was raised by mother, as well as my sister who is about 10 years older than me. I had no choice to be a son of single mother, no one does. We get handed cards in life and we have to deal with them.

Granted I was a shitty teenager and I learned a lot of lessons the hard way, I highly respect my mom for being able to raise me even though my dad died. Her hard work and determination payed off the mortgage to our house and she now owns another one.

I turned out to be very masculine, I was in the Army for god sake. After the Army I studied hard and became very successful.

You bring up a great point

[–]Red-Lantern0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A widow is not the same as a single mother. Widow or a Divorcée

[–]SouloftheVoid0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There is a great deal of difference between a widow and single mother who has her kids out of wedlock by multiple Chads/Tyrones or is married to a good man, has his kids, then decides to get recreationally divorced because "she's bored" of being a wife and mother and wants back on the carousel.

[–]RovenBrog 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

They actually banned me from the chat on this one for some reason. Guess I was dropping too many red pills. Or maybe someone on the panel is butt hurt.

[–]_do_not_read_this_2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd be curious if anyone watched a two hour video on this.

I think for the younger dudes generally avoiding single moms is a good idea, more so because young men might not have the maturity to realize when they're getting lassoed into being "new daddy"; and they truly have a greater pool of young non-moms from which to pull than older dudes like me.

For me, I'm in my young '50s and date up and down in age, so "single moms" in my peer group could mean she has a 30 year old "child". I really don't give a shit about that.

I also have *zero* interest in being a daddy or even hanging out with kids, otherwise I would have done it three decades ago. My intentions and personal boundaries are crystal clear.

That said, I've dated younger women with young kids, and they can be okay for a hang and bang, even for fun activities with the occasional kid tag-along (hey, I like apple picking in the Fall, so what if kid comes with? I have fun no matter who is with me). For me, letting a woman into my life is all about personality, connection and sex. If we have all three, she's welcome to get a sitter and the two of us can have a great time. She's welcome to put her kids first, so long as she's present with me for the 2-3 hours we might spend together.

This is why I don't personally see it as "settling" inasmuch as if a woman meets these criteria, we'll get along fine.

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Single moms are fun, but I'm not raising someone else's cum dripping.

[–]usernamegoeshere172 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not sure if anyone watches or likes coach red pill, but he did a similar video that is a lot shorter that covers all the same aspects in this 2 hour movie. Again, not sure if this community likes his content or not.

[–]Rakosnik0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

So are there any exceptions to the rule?

I am dating a single 35 yo mother who is divorced due to her husband turning out to be fucking anything with a hole that moves. I know her story. She wanted to stay with the guy after he promised not to fuck around anymore but could not handle his dick anyway, so she divorced him.

She's been divorced for 5 years. The kid is 11 yo. She does not take any child support money from the ex nor does she want any. Employed as a dentist nurse. Paying for everyhing herself. Never asked me for money. She actually pays for all the food and shit she serves me when I am at her place. Owns the flat she lives in, paying the morgage herself. Never aksed me to handle her kid or be the kid's father. She does not stop her ex from seeing the kid every other weekend or whener the kind wants to see her father. The guy is quite successfull (plant manager).

​

She is a good fuck and blow. A lot of fun. I do understand the priority issues with single mothers which does not bother me all that much cuz I do not want to be the #1 priority for her or any other chick. I mean I am quite happy being alone cuz I enjoy my own company.

​

I am not interested in marrying though I would like to have kids one day. I am 37 so about time I think about that more. I had my share of bitches through the years so I am cool with what life served me in this regard but it seems here on TRP that there is no single mom exception which I think cannot be true since there are always expections to the rules. What would they be though?

[–]civilizedfrog2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Her ex didn't wake up one day and start sticking his penis is every object with a hole. He must have been doing this long before she must have met him. Women always think that they can tame the bad boy and they act shocked when things don't go their way.

[–]Rakosnik0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

yeah could be as well. certainly i understand that was a bad decision on her part looking at things retroactively. her ex has a second wife and two kids now and taking care of his first child as well. i know his second wife personally since i used to work with her and him for one company back in the days. knowing that girl (his second wife) and what she is i would not touch that bitch with a lamp pole. yet it seems it works for both of them though i dont know if he is still fucking around cheating on his second wife as well.

my point is that this single mom is way better in many aspects than my previous girlfriends with no kids besides having less free time which im ok with cuz i need my time for doing my own things. what gives then?

we had talks and she’s always been like if you dont like my baggage than you are free to leave. it does not seem like she’s trying to tame me or get me into a marriage.

[–]civilizedfrog1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Tame the father of the child aka Chad

[–]Rakosnik0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

not sure if i get it. she’s trying to tame Chad the father ? from what i’ve seen and can tell is that she speaks to him only if its about the kid and does not like that much either. doesnt seem like she is trying to get Chad back or tame him. its not like she hates him either just cant stand him anymore even though they get along when it comes to the kid.

[–]BluBlac590 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm going to make the following statement about single mothers. I have known many I have them in my family I have worked with some and even dated some. Here it goes, Single Mothers are BELOW AVERAGE women that think they deserve ABOVE AVERAGE men. Let me know if this fits the single mothers that you know. I find it amusing these women want a REAL MAN (def, a man without baggage and that will overlook and forgive them for their "mistakes") when they are not REAL WOMEN (def, no children or burned men having caused "baggage")

[–]destraht0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It looks like only one of them does any sort of fitness training. WTF!?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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