I read posts here about how important it is to go into the "abundance" state of mind. The most frequent advice to get there seems to be "go fuck at least 2 girls". Well, if you're a betamax who cant even get one girl, then this could be a problem.

For those who have never experienced abundance, try this to get a sense of what it feels like.

The next time you encounter a plain or ugly girl when you're busy doing something (could be as simple as waiting for elevator with a friend), notice your state of mind right after you detect her.

The best way I can describe it is similar to noticing non-descript piece of furniture. You wont even give a second look. She simply has no impact on you, positive or negative

Why? Because ugly girls/furniture are everywhere and more importantly, you are not looking to take some home with you today.

That's great but how do you acquire and hold this state when talking to people, especially girls? For me, this came about indirectly, when I was in a MGTOW phase. When you have decided not to be involved with anyone ever (or even for a fixed duration of time) the way you behave around people changes. When they have nothing you want, they have no power over you.

Once I came off my MGTOW phase, I noticed that I could hold abundance state with 4-6 and 10s but not with 7-9. This was because I did not expect anything to happen with 10s and did not care if the 4-6 wanted nothing to do with me ever, starting from this very moment

7-9 were tricky because although I could acquire the state, they could foil it with their game. Eventually, I was able to hold the state with anyone by simply deciding not to pursue anyone. "It does not matter how hot you are, I dont want you" is the initial outlook when I meet someone for the very first time. The key here is to not want anyone for anything and be perfectly happy and self-sufficient for your own happiness.

Once I no longer cared to make it happen with 7-9, I was able to hold state.

One experiment I did was to practice celibacy for a short duration (one month) that includes no masturbation. In the beginning its hard, but when I came close to my goal, say 3 weeks in, I went out and see how transformed I was. I was not be affected by anyone, even 9-10. For the first time, my personal goal was more important than getting laid.

A sustained abundance state is self-reinforcing. The moment you lose your grip and do something to make yourself feel shitty, you automatically revert back to your strong state.

Note that abundance is not a magical trick that will make all the girls want you. Some will pursue you, many will not. What changes is your interaction with girls. You will be fairly comfortable talking to anyone and when you sense interest, you can escalate if you want to proceed with her. You will get used to not pursing because you have other things to do.