Summary: Older brother goes full Beta by having sex with, impregnating, marrying and subsequently divorcing a fat, unattractive landwhale. He's now living in a Hell on Earth of his own design.

Details below, certain ones being changed or omitted to protect my privacy and that of my brother. Note, this tale is purely from my own perspective and is missing certain bits of (nonessential) information. I believe the lessons learned are still applicable.


Body: I've posted this story as a comment several times in TRP, and I wish that were not the case. I wish it didn't need to be repeated ad nauseum in order to make a point. I wish it wasn't so horribly, hauntingly, horrifyingly true, but the universe cares very little for what we wish. So, I decided to take it upon myself and relay this story to TRP at large. While I consider this to be primarily a public service, it does help me to put pen to paper (so to speak) and relieve my own mind.

Now, in order to understand this short story made long, you have to understand the players. Enter Mark (all names changed), my older brother and overall good guy. You wouldn't call him a "Nice Guy" as he does the things he does because it's simply who he is, not in order to gain something. Mark is a good person, but not a good man. It's important to note the difference. My brother would likely give you the shirt off his back if you really needed it, but he'd also probably give you the shoes off his feet even when he knows you have no use for them.

In other words, Mark is a pushover.

In his high school days, Mark dated exactly one girl. She was a shy, introverted geek with a deviant sexual side, the kind of girl that pushovers like my brother dream about. Of course, they fell in love and spent years together after they had both graduated. My brother soon began to attend a small, rural university where he majored and graduated with a degree in social work. Essentially, he found a way to monetize his Beta habits and misguided empathy. Eventually they moved in together after he graduated college, as so many young couples do. It took a shockingly short time for the girlfriend to become addicted to prescription drugs, among other things. This led to the collapse of their relationship, of course.

My brother is a fixer; the kind of guy that subconsciously seeks out the damaged, the forgotten and the mistreated, attempting to repair their shattered psyches. A noble cause, but ultimately a futile one. Five years ago he would certainly disagree with my interpretation, but I'm not so sure these days. I take that as a good sign. With no way to heal this girl and with mounting family problems at our parents' home, he decided his best option was to move several hundred miles away. Of course, it's never that easy.

Now, Mark has had very few girlfriends/sexual partners, certainly fewer than 10 and possibly fewer than 5. We've never talked about it (my family gets along great, but none of us are what you would consider "close") but basic observational skills and intuition would support my claim. So where, you might ask, does this come into play? Oh, it's coming, never fret.

After a few years of puttering around in a new town, a new state, a new "life" doing little more than getting high and working several low-pay, low-esteem jobs, Mark meets Jane, a young lady around my own age. If it wouldn't incriminate me immediately to post a picture of her, I would. For now, a description will have to do.

  • Jane is fat, to the tune of 200+ pounds, perhaps as high as 250.
  • Jane is also not tall, standing right about the average height for an American woman. This, coupled with her nearly obese weight, further debilitates her physical status. Short people do not wear weight as well as taller people.
  • Despite being a beautiful shade of sapphire blue, her eyes are that of a crazy person. Pictures on her Facebook depict a wide-eyed, staring gaze that seems to never blink. The "Overly Attached Girlfriend" meme is a fairly accurate representation of how they look. Unsettling.
  • Jane has a skin condition that is immediately off putting at best and quite terrible at worst. Immediate boner killer, you'd think.
  • Jane has a child from a previous relationship, one that was supposedly "abusive".
  • Jane has failed at her attempts at education several times, most recently just prior to their divorce. This fills her with shame and self-loathing. I actually sympathize with this, as I've had my own issues with education.
  • Despite her landwhalish figure, Jane has on several occasions gotten work as a dancer/stripper at a local club. The very idea is so foul to me that I'll simply leave it at that, as I have no desire to dig any deeper. Apparently she likes to hula hoop which is....gross.

    Alright, alright, you've heard enough of that. Based on those few facts, who here would willingly have sex with a woman of this caliber? Let's see some hands.

    Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? No? No, not a fucking chance. We would rather melt our dicks off with acid than stick it in that abomination. Alas, Mark is not one of us (yet). My assumption is that my brother has had so few sexual partners, spread out over such a long period of time, that the combination of drugs and sheer desperation caused him to commit that ultimate sin.

    To this day I'm still not 100% about the circumstances of their meeting, though I can make some educated guesses. My brother had progressively become more involved in drug use, mostly ecstasy and marijuana, as well as EDM (Electronic Dance Music, for the older folks). It's my belief that they met a concert/show, both most likely very high and full of energy. The product of their meeting and resulting copulation created my niece. This, however, comes with a giant caveat: I don't believe the child is his. She looks almost nothing like him and almost 100% like Jane. The resemblance between my niece and Jane's other child (a boy) is astonishing. They could have been twins were they born together. Mark claims she was on the pill, though if this was just his assumption or a clever lie told to him by Jane, I'll likely never know. Regardless, she became pregnant and he stood by her.

    Fast forward a few months after the birth and Mark and Jane have married. Pretty standard fare, nothing of note there. Fast forward another year, where they are filing for divorce. Relationship problems run rampant throughout their household; income is minimal as they both work poorly paying jobs and have two children to raise; fighting is constant and Jane loves to air their dirty laundry for all and sundry to read on Facebook, such as claiming Mark has an addiction to porn and that he doesn't do enough around the house. Neither of which I believe, but I haven't believed a word out of her mouth since day one, anyway.

    Suffice to say, they are currently in divorce proceedings, custody of the children, child support and alimony have all yet to be determined. What is determined is that before the divorce even became official, she had bounced on to the next stop on the CC: an even worse Beta, 18 years old and with mountains of his own psychological and emotional damage. I mean the kind that causes him to post a half a dozen Facebook statuses within ten minutes, all crying and bitching and moaning about how fucked up he is and how much he loves my now-former sister in law. I actually lack the words to describe just how fucking terrible this punk bitch is, yet they deserve each other and so her misery is my joy.

    I feel for my brother, but I'm also optimistic. He has spent his life wasting away working for others, picking up other people's messes and letting his own grow ever higher. It's my sincere hope that this is his rock bottom, his wake up call. If he should find this, discover that I'm it's author and decides to contact me, well, I'll be there to get him started on the right path.

    As for the rest of you: Don't be my brother. Don't go full Beta.


Lessons Learned and Where My Writing Gets Lazy

  • Your SMV is as high as you make it. Mark was scrawny as a kid, athletic in high school, and now pushing into skinny-fat territory. He does not lift.

  • You can't fix everyone, and it's often better not to try. People have to fail before they can succeed, and some have to fail more than others.

  • Avoid drugs and alcohol if you can, and moderate appropriately when you can't.

  • Don't fuck fat chicks. Ok? Just...don't.

  • Verify any and all birth control, whether it's the pill, IUD, or condoms. Also, wrap your fucking shit if you're gonna fuck a girl you just met, holy fuck I shouldn't have to write that but apparently it's necessary

  • Have some goddamn self respect and self esteem. If the choice is between fucking a landwhale or going home alone, then get your ass home and read a fucking book

I'm tired now, as this has gone on far longer than I expected. It probably could have gone even longer if I wished it. Luckily, typing all this out has made me physically ill and not a little pissed, so I'll stop it here.

Edit: Formatting and basic editing.