Watercooler #7: Not so epic shit tests

RedSunBlue · 2013-08-13T01:48:47+00:00

How to Spot a Shit-Test

In my experience, a lot of shit tests are relatively easy to spot because they will be non-sequitur to whatever conversation you're having with a particular lady.

Examples from this week:

Lying in bed looking at a drawing of a pug I have on my wall

Me: I like pugs because they're so ugly that they're cute.

Girl: Yeah! So cute! How many girlfriends do you have!?!?

At the beach, hollering at a bikini ho

Me: Microbrews are starting to gain popularity in Japan. I know a few places that have a great selection of domestic and imported brews.

Girl: That sounds tasty! Oh wow, your abs are great^*!

^*A ^particularly ^insidious ^shit-test ^known ^as ^Beta-bait

In both instances, the shit test can be passed by simply steamrolling it and continuing whatever it was you were talking about before.

RedSunBlue · 2013-08-13T02:42:44+00:00

Theory:

Shit tests are a type of leadership test women give to men

In any gathering of humans, the "leader of the pack" gets tested.

Examples:

Classrooms: students (followers) will unconsciously test the teacher (the leader) to see what they can get away with.
Sports: Teams often have an "alpha male" whose ability to lead the team is often scrutinized (the NBA is particularly fascinating in this regard)

rebuildingMyself · 2013-08-13T05:09:23+00:00

Passed a shit-test with the g/f about a month ago. It's not as epic as these "not so epic" ones above but it was a great moment for me.

We were having a conversation and out of nowhere she says something like "your face reminds me of [cartoon character that's not very cool]." Old me would have verbally responded with anything. Be it a jab back at her, or a defenseive beta "nu uhh" type response, or even act insulted and bitchy until she apologized (or didn't). Basically throwing away my frame at the snap of her fingers.

What did I do? I ignored it. I didn't even give her the silent treatment. Within the span of a half-second, I gave her a low-brow look (like I had no fucking idea what language she was speaking), then continued the discussion. She jumped right back into my frame as if she never interrupted. Neither of us spoke about it. The concept of "frame" never really clicked for me until I thought about that scene later on.

Now I've noticed that she does less and less of these condescending-type shit-tests.

GaiusScaevolus · 2013-08-13T02:05:39+00:00

My basic go to is to ignore, and hit with an equally non-sequitur comment/answer:

Her: Are you a player?

Me: Red. Red is my favorite color. *Smiles slyly and changes subject.

If you must face it, agree and amplify:

Her: Are you a player?

Me: Yes, I play forward for the Celtics (I'm a stocky 5'9 white guy, so you get the joke)

If she persists, as in more than a shit test per minute over a 5 minute span, I leave.

dontfeelrich · 2013-08-13T02:11:19+00:00

Girl 8ish years my younger comes up to me in bar... "you're really tall..."

"I know".....turn and continue talking to my friend about the horse race on TV.

Later on, brings her friend (both 7.5s) over "See I told you..." so that I could obviously hear it. Didn't react.

Later later later on comes over "why didn't you want to talk to me? Are you some kind of asshole basketball player or something?"

"No, but I used to be. Now I don't really find my height to be an interesting topic, especially an opener.....would you like to start over?"

Worked... she bought a couple rounds and my buddy got laid.

HumanSockPuppet · 2013-08-13T02:10:56+00:00

I've got a story from today.

I rode my bike to my local college campus today to get some info on free money. As usual, there was a huge line outside the admin office. However, to help with the huge number of enquiries, they set up a small tented booth outside, which was staffed by a single woman. Pretty, with red hair, but in her early 30s and approaching the Wall fast.

She was beleaguered by students on all sides, and there was no real sense of order in the way she was handling requests. So I took advantage of this lack of order and simply spoke the loudest.

"Hey. I want my free money, and the school won't give it to me. What's the deal here?"

This caught her attention quickly (not to mention the attention of everyone else), and even behind her dark shades I could see her eyes looking me up and down, checking me out in my riding ensemble.

We got to talking about my financial aid problem, and she was eager to help. Throughout the entire interaction she made small talk with me, trying to keep me engaged. In between bouts of looking up forms and deadlines on her iPad, she asked me about what I did when I was going to school, what my hobbies were, and other miscellaneous small talk. I wasn't interested in fucking her, but I did want her full attention until my business was done, so I dangled my carrot in front of her and teased her hard.

What made it extra funny was the fact that there were a lot of younger student girls there, and they were also showing signs of serious attraction. Every time I re-directed, danced around her questions, made fun of her slow-ass iPad, or just poked fun at her strange curiosity in me, all of the other girls would smile, and giggle, and make eyes, and flip their hair - and this drove booth lady into a frenzy, who would then re-double her efforts to say something funny so I would laugh and approve of her. It was fucking compound pre-selection coming from every angle, and I barely smiled. It drove her nuts.

At one point, I finally gave her a roundabout answer to her question about what I did: that I did work in law enforcement. Suddenly, feeling a surge of feminine power, she fired up a shit test out of nowhere.

"So you like, bust little old ladies who don't put enough stamps on their letters?"

She looked at me through her lowered shades, smiling and sitting forward anxiously. And you know what I did?

I didn't say a fucking thing.

I just stood there giving her a laser-piercing stare, with 2-3 seconds of cold silence. And her demeanour changed really fast. You could see it on her faced that she realized she'd fucked it up.

Then I changed the subject, "How's that iPad coming along?"

Flustered she went back to serving me. And boy was she working double time to redeem herself.

When our business was concluded and I was walking away, she made one last ditch attempt to chat me up. "Hey, so you rode your bike here?"

I nodded, still walking.

"That's so cool. That's awesome." (hair flip)

"Yeah. See ya."

Sometimes, silence and a steel-melting stare is all you need to defeat a shit-test.

ekjohnson9 · 2013-08-13T14:49:26+00:00

Rejected a 23 year old because I knew she was dating somebody. She couldn't handle it. I ruined her night according to her and she stamped her feet like a child. I work out with her BF, and I'm not looking to scrape from the bottom of the barrel (7 at best). I called up one of my plates and met her on my way home.

The learning experience was that if you pass/dodge the shit tests, THEN do the rejecting, their world collapses in a hilarious way. If I didn't know and see the guy in a regular basis, I might have gone for it, but there will be situations in which you reject women and maintaining your frame when you do is both good practice and very helpful in the short run.

Mandeponium · 2013-08-13T15:40:17+00:00

I remember one from before I even took the red pill: Back in college 4 of us went to Jack in the Box. One girl, two guys, and myself. While in line the girl begged us to buy her something.

"Buy me something, please!?"

I responded with, "Why? You're not my woman."

The two guys went "Ohhhh!" and she shut up, trying to repress a smile.

I happened to pass that shit test by accident because I didn't like her. If I had wanted to get with her, I surely would have bought her whatever she desired. Very counter-intuitive, these shit tests.

boner_drone · 2013-08-13T08:23:31+00:00

"I really like this (rock climbing) route. It's my favorite."

Yeah, I like it too, but my favorite is that route over there.

"No, they took that one down. Now this ones your favorite"

Pretty sure it's still up there. Go look.

"Oh it is, but this one is still your favorite."

Whatever helps you sleep at night. dismissive hand gesture

lono12 · 2013-08-13T10:54:44+00:00

Here is mine from the last time I went out. Was with my girlfriend an old friend of hers and the friends husband. The friend is very typical entitled princess, the husband's catch phrase of the night seemed to be yes dear. Honestly, it reminded me of me and my ex wife a few years ago. Sad situation indeed.

So, we're outside smoking butts. Husband trying to tell a story, keeps getting interrupted by his wife. After the third time, I asked him. You don't get to talk much do you. He kind of shook his head and looked down.
Back inside, bad karaoke the friend keeps complaining about the singers. I tell her to shit or get off the pot and go grab a book and the little slips of paper. She picks out a song and hands me the slip of paper. What the fuck do you want me to do with that I ask. Bring it up there, she says. Fuck no, you've got legs.
So the husband brings it up and she was terrible.

End of the night, entitled princess smashes her face into a collins glass breaking it. I didn't see it, I was paying attention to something else at the time. No blood but it was still funny as hell.

Title	Watercooler #7: Not so epic shit tests
Author	RedSunBlue
Upvotes	23
Comments	67
Date	August 13, 2013 1:35 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1k8yab/watercooler_7_not_so_epic_shit_tests/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/watercooler-7-not-so-epic-shit-tests.6244 https://theredarchive.com/post/6244