Hey. This is a post I wrote on the seduction sub, and which got very popular among the guys there, but some mod deleted without a valid reason, even without any violation of rules.
Either way. A couple guys messaged and asked me to re-post it here. So here you go:
Men and women are good at different things, and have survived largely by exchanging their services.
Tiny, initial margins turn into big, long-term advantages. Men are usually not as attuned to these tiny, initial differences in investment as women are. And that, in effect, becomes their advantage.
By getting men to make that tiny, initial, emotional, social and energetic investment on the front-end, a cascading effect ensues, and results in a situation where the women get to pick and choose with minimal downside. All the while receiving protection, support and provision from every angle.
They hedge their bets and focus on growing their options before committing. Growing the pie before eating it. It's smart, and we men should learn from them.
The solution for you and me is; don't get fooled. Learn to abstain from making the initial investment based on her physical attraction and lure. See through it. See through the lies, the fakery and the image (mirage). Without getting bitter.
It's not that women are evil for doing this. They're smart. And almost every chump falls for it and gets a sour deal. But you don't have to be one of them. This is good news for you, because you'll have little competition by being one of the few guys who 'get it'.
Every guy who 'gets it' knows this subconsciously. But most of them can't explain it because they've had it from an early age and don't know what it's like to be a chump.
Perhaps they were handsome and chased by all the girls from an early age. Or their dad was a gangster and taught them a better way. Or they were just naturally confident or charismatic. Or even sort of a sociopath, allowing them to disconnect from the standard narrative.
Most girls also don't think this stuff consciously. It's in their genes and in their culture.
At bottom, it's a societal narrative, naturally evolved to keep all the chump, discontented men who are not gonna be participating in the gene-pool in any meaningful way, still contributing to the society and the economy, still behaving well and not causing too much trouble or outrage.
Again. Abstain from making the initial investment. The pretty girls are so used to and addicted to getting this, because of all the benefits it brings, that they will start chasing.
"What do I have to do to get it? A smile, maybe? Moving a little closer? Shake my ass and expose the 'goodies'? Dress up and put make-up on? Post sexy instagram photos?"
"Oh! There it is. Invested like all the other guys. Thousands of likes. Every guy I meet salivating. The approval of society. Now I can enjoy the rewards, with no need to give up my sexual favors to any of them. Or just to the party boys I choose, or one champ if I can find/attract one. Pretty good deal, right?"
You must learn to resist the lure. Usually by going out and getting fooled a bunch of times. Again and again and again. Thousands of times in my case, and in the case of everyone I've seen going from true shit to awesome at this.
Slowly but surely, you must learn to see through the marketing. And instead of putting your precious time, effort, emotional investment and problem-solving capabilities into a pretty girl who just runs away with them, you must put them into yourself.
You must put them into your own systems. Building a business/career. Reading A TON of books and educating yourself. Becoming financially independent and well-off.
But instead of being bitter towards women and just crying and masturbating for all those years, you choose another path. You still go out and meet women.
But instead of giving up your investment for an empty promise of sex—a smile, a nice face, a fat ass etc—you develop your own individual criteria and your own standards. Away from and stronger than the ones society feeds you.
You discover that a girl who is a 9 in looks can be a 1 as a human being. You experience the horrifying results that can come from investing in her. And you learn not to be fooled. You discover how rare quality people and quality girls are. You begin to question if they even exist.
You actually get laid enough times to see that sex doesn't really deliver on its promise. It's just a human with a hairy, stinky asshole just like you, whom you put your penis in and out of until you cum, and then it's over and back to just like before.
Seriously. Next time you fu*k a pretty girl—have her lay on her stomach, then spread her asscheeks apart and look at it. Sniff it. Is this what you've been chasing?
What slowly starts to happen when you reverse course is that girls start chasing you.
They can feel that you're not taking their bait, but everyone else is. "So why won't this guy?" She must find out.
Is there something wrong with the narrative she's been fed, rewarded, but also imprisoned by all her life?
The potential collapse—but also the potential freedom—from her entire, socially constructed world, lurks in the shadows.
No. She can't allow that. She must get the investment. She must find out. Are her most secret hopes and dreams about to come true? Are her deepest, underlying fears, terrors and suspicions being confirmed? Or is it both?
Her worldview must be confirmed, as it always has. She must be right. Am I right or am I wrong? Am I good or am I bad? We all look for this type of confirmation and approval. We want the world and its people to confirm our notions and beliefs. Our rightness.
And so she chases. She starts inquiring and buying into and investing in your worldview and your standards.
What she finds there will determine everything.
"If he doesn't bite on this, what will he bite on?"
She tries more.
"Maybe some kissing... Now we're making out... But he isn't reacting like he should... He isn't putting me on a pedestal like everyone else. He seems to enjoy it, but doesn't latch on."
She feels that she could leave at any time, without affecting you in any significant way. You don't give a shit. You're not impressed by her little facade. Not fooled. Only amused. And so she gets more and more invested.
She fu*ks you. How about now? Sucks your co*k.
Maybe she has to hang out with you more. Then become your girlfriend.
If at any point in this process you compromise or sell out your investment in yourself for her, then you're done.
But if you stay on your grind... If the focus and dedication to your bigger vision as a man doesn't deviate... Proving the strength, truth and superior foundations on which your universe is built...
Then she's gonna want to keep investing. She's found a champion.
Why wouldn't she choose the vastly better option if she has any sense? If she's a quality woman with good values and self-respect, she's not gonna give up a true champion like that for the sake of going back to the empty approval of an endless array of chumps.
Besides, she still gets that on social media and from guys everywhere looking at her.
Hopefully, if it's a girl you're gonna invest in over the long term, she's been brought up in a solid family with a champion father and good values beyond her looks and the empty approval it brings.
She values education, intelligence, fitness, health and building something for the long term—just like you. And then you keep investing in each other, bringing your different strengths to the table, building a fucking empire.
Of course, by the time you're worthy of this type of a situation, you've probably banged a lot of other chicks and built something respectable in terms of education and business. You're on a comeup with lots of ambition, momentum, zest for life and a solid peer-group.
Otherwise, why the hell should a top-notch girl be interested in giving up her other options in order to be with you? It's opportunity cost. You have to be the best alternative, and with sufficient (but not excessive) availability, for the right people to wanna invest their time, energy and resources in you.
What I've described here is not easy. It takes years. I'm 23 at the moment, have been on the grind for about a decade, and am nowhere near where I think I could or want to be.
I'd say I'm in the process of incorporating these things now, and it has taken years and years of grind.
Lifting weights since I was 13, learning the discipline, walking the path, reading everything I could get my hands on since a very early age, getting into pickup extremely early, going out literally hundreds of days and nights sober, and talking to thousands and thousands of girls.
Climbing up slowly, falling down, crying for a while, then dusting myself off, correcting the broken bones and giving it another go.
Reading a couple hundred GREAT books so far. Constantly processing information and trying to do better. Busting my ass in various jobs. Doing door-to-door sales for 8 months.
Working in a startup. Learning from countless mentors in real life and through the internet and books. Going back to school and now educating myself in science and computer programming.
Just grinding forward one step at a time. One gym session at a time. One nutritional adjustment. One approach. One interaction. One hour of reading. Forcing myself to do that one most important work task or finish that project. Again and again and again.
All the while suffering and doubting myself. Being confused. Looking for help or support. Looking for sources of information and people that had solved the problems I was facing.
And I don't even think where I am now is very impressive. I'm pretty much still broke, even though I've been able to make a little money entrepreneurially besides my studies in order to eat. I am quite jacked (ripped, strong, fit).
And 'pickup' is getting easier and easier. I've been amazed at times when just doing so much less in the club has resulted in so much more. Less effort, less action, more results. You can put me in pretty much any sizable city in the world, on my own, and I'm confident I can go out, talk to anyone I want, meet cool people and over time date and get laid with hot girls.
I was also not particularly talented in these areas to begin with.
I was a weak and skinny kid. It was harder for me to put on weight, muscle and strength than for a lot of guys.
I was so socially backward that you wouldn't believe it. My dad has been socially inept and anxious his whole life himself, so I didn't have great role models.
I spent years just being confused, almost never talking in social situations. Scared out of my mind. Afraid to look people in the eyes. It took years to even somewhat correct and learn how to deal with this. Years of pushing directly and aggressively into fear. Starting with very small steps and building.
The one big advantage I think I have had is sheer curiosity, and a decent amount of drive for certain pursuits. A very obsessive nature that doesn't let go easily.
Voracious reading certainly helped a lot in several areas, from fitness to pickup to business. I've always been incredibly curious, and score in like the 96th percentile on the 'openness to experience' trait on Big Five.
Anyway. This isn't really about me. But the vision I've described here is not unattainable, given the right amount of drive, intelligence, persistence, integrity and even some luck. Probably a good bit of luck, to be fair. I don't think any of us would have accomplished much being born 200 years ago or in certain countries etc.
Following the standard path and the standard narrative is not gonna be good for most guys. The standard outcome will be very bad. Most of society will never tell us the truth, or try to help us with this type of information. Many of the guys who have tried have met with vicious resistance and attacks from the mainstream.
The momentum and the entropy, in other words, is against you. And it is incredibly hard to reverse. But the good thing is that if you're able to reverse it and get the momentum going your way in a tiny but significant way, over time the compound effect can work in your favor. It can build on itself to your benefit.
But it's up to you to get it going, to take the long and scary beating and drudgery of reversing course and going against the current. And it will be a beating. A front-loaded beating. So it just depends.
If you're willing to take it now, you may have a chance at a truly outstanding and extraordinary life. The things you can learn and discover could be incredible. Things that no one has seen or done before. A real adventure.
For those who need the comfort of the herd and are unable or unwilling to break out, I personally think the majority are going to get a much worse beating down the road.
A beating called "your whole life is a lie, and you will be a slave, being told what to do, selling your time and your energy for crumbles on the ground while getting the shit kicked out of you by society and women for the rest of your life. Your potential will be gone forever."
Or, to quote Ernest Hemingway at his best: "You will die like a dog for no good reason."
I suppose that may apply to all of us. But let's cheer up while we can, haha.