It might have helped you a little bit as a boy, when you were more of an emotional creature and you needed the reward of flattery to get you to behave.
But as you grow older, the "Good / Nice" label is really another way of saying that you comply with serving someone else's script of they want you to be, you enter another person's frame, you let another person run your life, you follow another person's ideas, someone else's imperatives.
These people are happy with you and praise you only because they are getting what they want out of you. For them it is advantageous for you to stay a beta and they will on the pretext of being nice to you, keep you that way. It could be your parents, your partners, your friends, your boss, your co-workers, a religion that needs faith and followers, or the government, and especially the media horseshit.
Few people are interested in your long term authentic welfare - and if they exist, their first task will be to take the goggles off and see everything for what it is. I suggest you be that person to yourself.
Try to break the pattern - do something you want to do, implement one of your own ideas, do things in a new way, say no to some stuff that isn't helping you down the road. Work on your needs for a while. You don't have to do anything big for this - just buy your own stuff, just go start lifting, think independently. And just watch what happens to every one who put you on that "good boy" pedestal... your own family included.
You might just realize how much your good boy label has really held you back from an authentic life with a more mature awareness. You might even learn the unpleasant truth that no one really respected your frame at any time, because you never had one to begin with. You will learn that you never came full circle from boyhood dependency to manhood. You might realize the horror that most of your relationships depended on you being the beta in the first place, your long term welfare be damned. It was comfortable for them to stay with the familiar dysfunctional patterns. Now even if the new pattern is really in everyone's benefit, still you'll be met with fierce resistance.
As a child, you were under the shadow of bigger trees than you. As you get bigger, those other trees are getting bigger in their own ways. When did you last see a great tree under the shadow of another? You didn't. That's a risk yes, but that needs to be done, or else your own growth and potential will never find the space it needs.
One of the things you learn after waking up is that what feels painful isn't always bad, and what feels pleasant is often anything but good down the road. Your enemies may be openly hostile with you, but they're also more honest. That boss of yours who isn't at all friendly to anyone? Well, he's probably the most honest guy in the whole place. Sometimes it's the friendliest people that are often harmful.
There is also a popular trend of rationalization out there which tells you that "It's enough to be a good person, and things will happen". Well, take a look at the most frustrated people out there -- all 'good' people.
There's an accident victim on the road, needing first aid urgently. All the goodness of reading the Bible, being a guy who doesn't swear, is basically a 'good person' won't work - you need an ambulance and paramedics there who can actually help. You go there and argue about how good a person you are and why you deserve to help, you're actually pissing everyone off and interfering. You could do more harm than good.
There's no point in being a so called - 'nice person' only to wonder why you got wet in the rain while all the 'bad ones' 'cheated' by coming prepared with raincoats and umbrellas. If you don't want to get wet, you have to do the right thing for that. And what goodness is that which only resulted in you getting sick at the end of the day? Are you even good to yourself?
You know who thinks he's doing the greatest good on earth? It's that guy who just blew himself up taking many others with him, thinking he's doing something holy. I mean, you have to be utterly convinced in your own goodness if you can do something that extreme. So what's good is sometimes anything but.
Feel good and real good are two totally different things. What we call as good or nice is only a rationalization that we tell ourselves so that we can feel better than the other guy. It is not authentic. It's what we do, and the consequences of what we do, that really mean anything. More damage has been done in the name of good intentions than anything else on earth.
So, it's time to kick out this pseudo goodness and get real with what's going on. It's far more important and authentic to be the right person for what needs to be done, than to be a so called 'good / nice' guy.
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