Over on The Blue Pill, they posted a link to “Why does he do that?” a book about abusive men and what makes them tick inside. I love a good read, so I lapped this book up, always eager to add new tools to my arsenal for controlling my wife. Overall, the book was a little one-sided and failed to mention abusive women at all, except in the context of lesbian relationships, even though women are verbally abusive cunts all the time without repercussion, and incidents of female-on-male violence continue to rise. The book also used the term “abuse” as a blanket statement for any behavior under the sun that makes a woman “feel mistreated or devalued.” I’m not taking any liberties here – that’s a direct quote. Arrogance, selfishness, saying not-nice things – that’s all abuse. Anything that makes your partner “feel” mistreated or “feel” less valuable means you have issues and you need to change.
What was more frightening, however, is how many of the abusive behaviors outlined in the book come straight out of the playbooks of women in relationships, and are considered fucking empowering if a woman does them, but abusive and controlling if a man does them.
The book’s not without a silver lining, however. I’ve extracted some great tips for keeping women in line:
Be mysterious. Women do this all the time, and it’s cute and empowering. Say one thing, but do another. Tell her you want/like something, but when she remembers and gets it for you, tell her she got the wrong kind or didn’t do something the way you like. Be as angry or annoyed about this as you’d like. They do it to us. Once a woman has you figured out, you’re boring. Never be boring.
Put her down at least twice for every complement you give her. PUA people call this “negging.” (When a woman does it, it’s called “nagging” and it’s her right to speak her mind and it’s empowering.) Don’t use overt and rude insults. Just subtle remarks about things that don’t attract you, made off-hand, like you’re just talking about what you had for dinner last night. But remember to complement her every now and then, too. That helps you to be mysterious and reminds her that underneath the aloof asshole exterior she loves so much, you’re “really a sweet guy.”
Any time she becomes angry with you about anything you’ve ever done or said, act like she’s crazy in the head for bringing up such a trivial issue, and make sure she knows that the way she feels is her fault. Never admit you’re wrong or apologize. Anything you said or did, positive or negative, was in response to something she said or did, so she can either change her behavior or continue to deal with yours.
Have a prepared excuse for any of the above. Any time she mentions you doing any of 1-3, casually brush it off with a reason that sounds harmless, even friendly, like you were acting in her best interests or the best interests of the relationship. Now’s a good time to drop a complement, like you just love her too damn much. If she really calls you on your bullshit and she seems serious about it, it’s time to bring up how you were hurt in the past, previous women cheated on you, your mother was a bitch and hit you, and shit like that. It works for women.
Latch on to your girl’s social network. Make friends with all of her friends, with her neighbors, with her co-workers, with her family. Get all of them to think you’re awesome. Do favors for them. Sleep with the ones that are willing to sleep with you. You have to grease the wheels often and early, because you want your woman’s ears to be full of your praises, and if she starts to complain about you, you want them to defend you. To express doubt at what she’s complaining about. And if shit really hits the fan, you want them to all take your side. (Do these “abusive” tactics sound familiar yet?)
I’m only maybe a fourth of the way through the book so far and had to put it down, because it was triggering too many traumatic memories of past relationships. They should put a trigger warning on that thing. But I’ll update with more useful information once I’ve seen my therapist and gotten enough drugs to help me muscle through it.