Recently, I got a question from user detailing how he was scared of getting cheated on. "How you could do everything right and still get played" was the question.
On the surface, seems like a fair feeling to have right? Well I perhaps thought so too but a part of me also thought "Nah, this is wrong. All wrong. upside-down, inside-out wrong".
Let's posit that there are two types of guys who get cheated on:
- The guy who doesn't know if he's getting cheated on.
He doesn't understand that there is no guarantee a girl will stay loyal; nor even knows the signs of cheating and doesn't know he should always trust but verify with LTRs. By the time his ltr has already cheated and banged two new guys, he's starting to think she may be cheating. Now, most readers probably aren't under this category..they know the signs. And if you don't...well you got some reading to do.
But I think there's another type of guy who gets cheated on:
- The one who is excessively paranoid about it.
This guy believes every girl will cheat. Unlike the other guy, he doesn't understand there is no guarantee a girl will cheat. He will mate guard, he will do things in the ltr merely to prevent getting cheated on, he will be overly protective and will find ways to check every little potential avenue for cheating. And unknowingly, because he is obsessed with his girl cheating...it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
Which brings me to this question you probably have:
"How do I prevent getting cheated on?"
There is no magical thing I can give or tell you that will 100% prevent you getting cheated on.
"I see I cannot prevent getting cheated on, so how do I minimise the risk of cheating?"
Now that's a question I can help to answer.
There are 2 main avenues to this answer, the first is before the LTR even exists. To win the battle before it even starts. Before you even get into a LTR, you have to vet your LTR. Spend months vetting your her, not just a few weeks. Don't consider unLTR-worthy prospects. The sidebar contains info on how long to vet and how to. Can't spoon-feed you everything you know? ;) Consult the 25,25,25 rule. Don't hop into a LTR when you clearly aren't ready for one.
The second avenue is once you are in a LTR, what do you do.
For a LTR, I recommend having this paradigm:
”Be sexual and then some. Be an experimenter. An unpredictable experimenter. Your girl is nothing but your little plaything begging to be toyed with.”
Trust me, your girl is gonna like it.
What do I mean by this? You got to be her darkest sexual chapter (read that post by uncle vas), the boyfriend who she did all kinds of things for, the guy who pushed her limits and then some, the guy who she says "I've never done this before".
How you may ask?
Simple really. Write a list of fantasies/shit you want to do. And just try it. Boredom is the death of your relationship. If you are really struggling, just remember some shit from porn and act it out. I don’t care if they are dumb or impractical or they end up flopping. Just being willing to try them out can often provide some excitement.(But please stop masturbating porn...its terrible...give me one good reason to use porn. I'll wait.)
You want her plugged in public? You want to dress her up in a skimpy French maid/school girl/cheerleader outfit? Tell her. Try it. Be a sexual experimenter and then some. Test her limits.
Be unpredictable. Rip her panties off during sex. Take her for a drive, go down a quiet trail road, park somewhere and fuck her over the bonnet. Go hiking and do the same thing. Go the gym at a late hour with no staff, workout a bit, and then take her to the changing rooms and fuck. It doesn't matter if that was the plan along, but don't tell her. Make it seem spontaneous to her. When in public, shove her into a corner/wall make out. Or when you both get out the car, push her against the car and make out. But then go back to normal as if nothing happened. Being unpredictable gives her the emotional rollercoaster she craves for deep inside.
Experiment. Always be trying stuff with her. Embrace it. Be the guy who your girl can say "I actually just use him for sex hehehehe". If your girl is asked what's the best part of the LTR and new sexual experiences isn't the first or second thing she says, then you may want to change that. Don't underestimate the power of her being very sexually invested in you.
“And frankly, you should always turn up the kink meter until you reach the level where your girl makes you stop. Then turn it down so it's back to where she was comfortable and use that as the base level of your relationship. If you don't do that then guess what - you're boring. She's going to get bored with you.
Another way to say that is: if your girl hasn't told you "no" then you haven't gone far enough.
Women prefer a man that they have to reign in a bit. They want a man whose passion for them seems barely restrained. And it's makes them comfortable when they see that you respected their "no".
Now, let me be clear. You ARE NOT doing this to prevent cheating. I don’t want you to think “oh fuck yesterday I did x crazy shit, now I have to keep doing it /up the ante otherwise she’ll cheat”.
No. That’s just being the aforementioned type 2 guy.
You are doing this for yourself. The side effect is decreased likelihood of cheating. You are doing this because you are an adventurous guy who likes doing fun stuff. Because you want to do this. Because you can. Because you want to build some crazy stories to share when you get old. Her loyalty is just a side effect, not the purpose.
But what if she cheats?
Well, I did say I couldn't guarantee she would never cheat. Just minimise.
So what do you do? Simple. Enjoy the ride, fuck her and throw the fish back to sea. The ride is over.. don't worry though, next one is right coming up.
What you have to understand is that girls are FAR MORE replaceable than guys who get it. How many good looking women have you encountered in your life? 100? 250? 500? 5000? Now, how many guys have you met who really get this shit? 1? 2? 5? 10? 20?
How many good looking 18/21 year olds are there? Answer
Every day and every year, a fresh new batch of young, good looking girls enter the market in the thousands. Can you say the same for guys who’ve internalised red pill?
The truth is , femininity is typically preserved, masculinity is built. This is what makes hot women far more replaceable than top tier men.
Don't fear getting cheated on. An obsessive fear of this only promotes the actualisation of such. And if you do get cheated on, relax..its not the end of the world. Its just some bitch who was far more replaceable than you are. All LTRs have an expiration date...maybe it's one month, one year, 3 years, 10 years or a life time, but they expire nonetheless. Your ride will eventually end (if you've been paying attention, its way more her ride will eventually end). If she cheats, whose loss is it really?