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Women want to be dominated, but don't want to admit it

November 2, 2014

I came across an interesting article today, where a university had studied 1500 peoples sexual fantasies. They quizzed them on numerous sides of sexual deviancy, but what interested me the most was how they asked about whether they wanted those fantasies to become reality.

Now, if you've read Rollo's "Open Hypergamy" article, you'll know that in modern Western civilisation, women are becoming less and less coy when it comes to their sexual strategy. In my personal experience, this is also true with it comes to their sexual fantasies, and talking about sex in general. This is brilliant for me: I get to pick girls who have the same kinks... Ahem, anyway.


In the article above, between 30-60 percent of women admit to fantasising about light bondage and domination. Now, this is a survey, and typically women are still coy about their true desires (see: any survey regarding number of sexual partners for women), so take the actual number with a grain of salt, however it's still damned high.

Anyone who has tried the Sex God method, or is just a bit of a dominating guy in bed anyway will know this is true: most women are into it, and by into it I mean really into it. However, the interesting part of the article is what comes next.

The survey indicated, however, that the women surveyed "never want these fantasies to come true."

Pedestrian.tv is a liberal, left-wing publication just FYI, so of course that's the way they looked at the data and the conclusion they wanted to draw. We can't have Strong Independent WomenTM admitting they like to be thrown down on the bed and ravished! That smut is reserved for unknown niche books that only deviants buy, like 50 Shades of Grey. Lol.

Watch what women do, not what they say. Women are sexual beings, and way dirtier than most guys will realise until they've manned up and gone for it -- and the best part it, she will love you for it.

This reminds me, I need to buy some more rope.

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Post Information
Title Women want to be dominated, but don't want to admit it
Author rpkarma
Upvotes 83
Comments 42
Date November 2, 2014 6:51 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/women-want-to-be-dominated-but-dont-want-to-admit.24099
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2l1q8i/women_want_to_be_dominated_but_dont_want_to_admit/
Red Pill terms in post

[–][deleted] 69 points70 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Watch what women say, not what they do.

I keep reading on here to do the opposite of that.

[–]rpkarma[S] 59 points60 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oops, I literally wrote that backwards. My bad

[–]sigmared8230 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You know you can edit posts, right?

[–]2trway1444 points45 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Why do women deny their desire to be dominated? Because a woman's genes can't allow her to hand out the keys to her pussy on a silver platter. It's best if she doesn't even know where the keys are hidden herself. That way, she can't tell her beta bucks how to become alpha, and only real alphas will turn her on for reasons she won't rationally understand. ("I never thought I'd be the kind of girl to enjoy this, but he just blew me out of the water")


[–]1kingofpoplives17 points18 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Why do women deny their desire to be dominated?

It's because if they grant permission the level of risk taking boldness required to pull a dominating move significantly decreases.

The transgressiveness of the domination is a key part of it. Women want the guy who is willing to perform an act of domination when he DOES NOT have permission to do so. Any beta can "play dominant" after being granted permission.

[–]2trway1412 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That is an interesting point. A man taking the risk to be dominant only means something if there are consequences associated with failing. Very related to this discussion: /r/TheRedPill/comments/2kyful/man_creates_a_video_with_him_walking_through_the/clq46ft

It's like Louis CK said, "You want me to rape you on the off chance that you're into that shit?"

However, I have seen a lot of wiser women moderate this requirement. The BDSM community generally considers a frank discussion of consent beforehand essential. And let's be honest - you don't want to risk spending years in jail and being branded a sex offender, just to potentially make some girl's experience a little bit more realistic and exciting. No girl is worth that.

If she wants something she can at least take some responsibility and ask for it, you don't have to go full Deida on her and relieve her of all expectations just because you're such a skilled man and she's such a helpless baby who's too timid to express her needs. Taking the "women as children" analogy too far is going to make your life miserable; she's still the most responsible teenager in the house.

This is just a point of caution since we are talking about sex in this topic. Don't make your life miserable. When it comes to major actions, discuss it beforehand. Yes, it will take away a little from the excitement. But you gotta accept that the absolute extremes of excitement that are humanly possible can only be achieved by illegal means. A rational man will know trying that shit is as stupid as messing with heroin. It can be nice, but it will certainly fuck you up.

Do dudes exist who are willing to cross that bridge? I'm sure there are some among the billions of humans on earth. Most of them eventually go to jail, a few of them will post field reports on how some girl was screaming and couldn't get enough. Don't let that get to you - he may not be so lucky with the next one.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The only discussion needed prior is establishing a safe word, then you just go for it. It covers your liability, and still allows you to be mysterious and dominant in bed.

[–]LibertarianLibertine2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Or maybe they deny it because they are not rational but controlled by emotions and hormones.

[–]2trway146 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep, that's consistent with what I'm saying. All I did was link that to evolutionary psychology for a deeper understanding.

[–]sigmared824 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think that's part of it, but there's also the social side of it. Women will say what's socially acceptable and expected of them in a given social situation.

[–]1iluminatiNYC6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree with the assertion, but I want to add some nuance to it. Once I started getting into the scene and wolfing down books by the truck load, a very important lesson became clear. The thing is that for women, sexuality needs to have a narrative. It isn't just what they find hot, but the circumstances in which that hot thing exists. Women are telling the truth in that they don't want it to happen...somewhat. It isn't just the fantasy themselves, but the situation it exists in.

As weird as it sounds to guys, women want to have the idea that it "just happened". That's why Rollo has the post "Just Get It". They don't want to see how the magic trick works. They want a show. If that's what gets their panties off, start the show. You get what you wanted in the first place, and they get a nice story and justification to tell their friends in the Feminine Sexual Matrix. Fair trade, if you think about it.

[–]2RedPillSafe13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

  • Remember that this is PSYCHOLOGICAL submission.

Too many here on Red Pill think you need "props" (rope, bondage stuff, etc) or to act out their favorite porn scene with lot's of slapping and anal.

You do NOT need to become dependent on these things.

What matters is that you persist with your woman sexually so that she goes deeper and deeper into the hidden recesses of her soul. A woman has many layers and her orgasms can be very shallow or very deep. One needs to learn on an intuitive level how to drive a woman to surrender in her MIND.

True surrender is in the woman's inner soul.

Don't think like a PUA and make this a fake act... really, really, really become the real man that can dominate a woman so that you can set her free.

[–]rpkarma[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Truer words were never spoken.

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I walk through the rope and chain area of Lowe's and I think of all the fun stuff I could do. Know how many women have liked it rough with me? All of them. Know how many liked to be tied up? All but two, and they simply never tried it before. Handcuffs are easy, they all like those, rope seems to be different for some. All of them like a dominant man, even those who say they don't.

[–]yeahweewee10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

i dunno bro i've had fantasies i wouldn't want to actually happen

i don't doubt most women don't want be to some degree of a sub(from personal experience and just what i see on the internet)but i can't imagine most would actually want to(or do the bdsm community is a tiny niche) take it farther than just rough sex

[–]CrimsonTideCosby7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

All you need to know about female sexuality is that they are the ones getting fucked. And they love it. I'm sure the guys on this sub shutter to think what it would be like to get fucked and not do the fucking. Therefore it takes a vast amount of perversion, at least in my opinion, just to get fucked in the first place. Anything on top of that is just outside my comprehension of kink and that is what loads of women want sexually.

Women will always be the kinkier, more perverse sex in my opinion simply because they get fucked.

[–]MrChillBroBaggins1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is very true. Reminds me a lot of a few Elliott Hulse videos where he describes the feminine energy; almost always submissive and yielding. And I think you're right on the money with the perversity of getting fucked and getting dominated. (Turns me on like nothing else haha I'll gladly dominate her once the door closes). There is nothing wrong with acting on these impulses, they are completely biological, so why limit yourself to the crippling demands of society when, as Red Pillers, we KNOW there is another level of chemical depth in the seduction of women. Be an alpha and win.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

the easiest time to get a girl to say or do what you want is when you're balls deep inside her

thank you TSGM for giving me domination on easy mode

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Look at the chart in the article: the about of men wanting to be sexually dominated is about 10% lower than that of women.

[–]mega_beta2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I think this mostly applies to women under 30 or so. At some point when they become older, it seems like a lot of women become truely bent on controlling men and being a queen of the universe. I really find it hard to believe these type of women would enjoy being dominated. But I'm not into 50-year old bitches, so I'll never know.

[–]simple_human0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

They get the pleasure of domination by doing it themselves, our society is fucked up man

[–]1oldredder0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

over 30 counts too. Maybe when they're not so fit anymore might be some discomfort in certain positions... but they like it. Never tapped a 50 year old, not going to until I'm older than that, however. Women don't necessarily want to be "in control" with sex - the serious bitches want to be in control of everything and use sex as leverage to get male compliance. Not quite the same thing.

[–]daredcan1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's like this article was written for me. Yesterday my chick friend told who has always seemed super private and normal sent me a message saying "I've been a bad girl :)" I talked to her more and she told me about how she's going to be hooking up with some guy that takes charge. Is into biting her, pulling her hair all that stuff. She's currently on "break" from a guy she was seeing. I've been on the Red Pill for a while, but it was still surprising to me to hear her talk like that just for the fact that she seemed so private and more of the take charge type. Discovering yet again all women share the trait of wanting an alpha take charge guy that does what he wants with them. Thank you red pill for another informational article, making my life easier to getting laid.

[–]LS_D-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

In my experience most women love to be 'taken' and dominated in bed

However, that said, when it comes to their day to day lives this is far from being a 'truism' .... as can be demonstrated by the many women who chose to study and pursue academic and other pursuits (aside from fashion related) and I doubt they would take kindly to their guy trying to dominate such things!

Sometimes I think TRP mentality fails to acknowledge there are women out there who don't subscribe to societal norms BUT when it comes to sex, whilst some are vanilla starfish, most, once having experienced great sex tend to like dominant guys in bed

And that stands to reason as we guys have to exert ourselves much more than a women to provide both partners with a satisfying experience! So it's usually up to the guy to initiate hot sex and hope the girl is able to respond!

Unless you're a submissive male, for me women who are more dominant than me in bed I find a turn off!

"This reminds me, I need to buy some more rope." .....

P.S silk scarves are the treat matey, and they don't leave marks!

[–]drunkjake2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And that stands to reason as we guys have to exert ourselves much more than a women to provide both partners with a satisfying experience! So it's usually up to the guy to initiate hot sex and hope the girl is able to respond!

yep yep. Had an awesome evening with a friend of mine who's a heavy sadist. Ah yeah.

[–] points points | Copy Link

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[–]LS_D0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

haha! yeah, but at the office in some firms can get some strange looks, esp from the jealous women who aren't having any fun!

[–]rpkarma[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Shit I'd forgotten about silk scarves. That brings me back a few years... Hint duly noted.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol, as a RPW , I've only ever been with my husband. It took a while to be open about my desires, but yes this is one, and yes it's wonderful to just BE HONEST with your husband and it leads to happiness all around. I don't know why women are so afraid to admit this to themselves. If it's hot, and you're in a committed relationship, why not share it? Worst that can happen is it doesn't work for you in practice and you try something else. But from my limited experience yes, yes it works in practice and damn is it hot

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

As long as they see you that way, yes. A girl got mad that I slapped her while she was giving me a BJ. Evidently, she just doesn't see me that way.

[–]Modern__Day__Pricus0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Women do but, like the post says they don't want to talk about it. They want you as a man to "Just get it" As Rollo from The Rational Male points out.

Once you start talking about it, you ruin the "show" for them. They want to believe in this horse shit and think its real. They want to really feel as if the reality that WE create for them is the reality that IS the right one. Again, they want to watch a movie and not hear about the credits or how the film came together. Suspend disbelief.


Problem is, how are we as men suppose to know that if we don't ASK questions? Thing ism women have this "Club" that they don't want every man to be involved in.


Its why they get mad at men for noticing them in clubs when they wear certain outfits, or just when they try and talk to women when they walk down the street. They don't want EVERY man talking to them. JUST, a certain few but can't admit it. Only a certain few can get away with talking to them in certain way if they understand how the game goes, have looks, or money. Everybody to them should just keep there head down and keep it moving.


But women, and even men when you try and talk about these things will look at you as if you are crazy. This small cult like community of men in the Red Pill is needed. You can't have these types of conversations anywhere else without men and women giving you dirty looks and claim that you are either "weird", "crazy", or, my favorite one "Not mature yet".

Ironic thing is, they still seek these types of conversations anyway without them knowing it. Sure, it may not be gender specific but, everyone I believe to an extent seeks a moment of chaos to break from the norm. Whether its watching a fight, car crash, argument, etc. Being uncomfortable is needed. Without being uncomfortable and asking these questions, I would of never found this place, or many other forms of media and books that help me break from the bullshit sandwich with a side order of shut the fuck and tall glass of JUST BE HAPPY to wash it all down.


"Break on through to the other side" as Jim Morrison would say.

[–]Forty_Deuce0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

And that's why even though I'm not cool with harassment, all these women bitching about men cat calling them is bullshit to me. And that even approaching them in public is a form of harassment. I was told that it is not proper to talk to anyone in public and that it's just rude.

Now this is all bull. We all know that if a woman is sitting there minding her business. Jogging along the reservoir in Central Park, thinking about what they are going to do later or that assignment they have to hand in. If some guy looking like Ryan Gosling or whoever their ideal man is stops them, they will give him all their attention. But if it's any average chump, their time will be wasted and just you're another guy who feels that he's entitled to their time.

[–]1oldredder0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

For sure. Those Halloween outfits are skimpy for a reason. And that same supergirl dancing with me later... attempted to more than cut in line, but bypass the entire line by being pretty for a bouncer to enter from another door. He was having none of it. Fire-code and all, can't lose count of people and be over or they can be shut down.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wen want to be dominated by those who are worthy. They're going to test you and if you crumble they will laugh at your feeble attempt or even attack you to ensure you don't try again.

If you succeed then they're going to be wisked off their feet.

[–]godiebiel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It depends by whom. They certainly will oppose domination by any betas, and will certainly claim "harassment". If the " dominator" is an alpha on the other hand (high status, attractive) then they completely submit themselves.

[–] points points | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]1oldredder0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sex is real-life too. Women like a unique thrill, want to feel an adventure & want their man to be a part of it.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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