A lot of you simply aren’t ready for a LTR…yet. This post is to show you why and when you’ll know you will be.
Let’s look at why we use this common phrase:
“LTRs are Red Pill on hard mode.” (And so by inference Marriage must be Red Pill on 1 shot God Mode).
LTRs are harder than plates/fwb because of 2 reasons:
Investment and time/exposure. With plates and FWBs, there's minimal investment. All you need is indifference.
She’s acting bitchy? She’s being annoying? She’s tired and doesn’t want to come over?
Treat with indifference.
So with our examples, if she’s acting bitchy, treat with indifference and soft next or if it's really bad, permanently demote and just move onto the next bitch. It's cool….no harm done.
Tired and doesn’t want to come over? If she does it once, treat with indifference and go hit up another plate whose down. If she does it regularly, hard next. This plate is broken, whatever…it was just your turn anyway. No biggie.
You dont bother with making minor adjustments like trying to correct her or guide her. Your only option is "take whatever you get" or "start from scratch". And since you aren’t that invested in her, this not only works, but it is mandated…for plates/fwbs.
But with LTRs, things change. You must always have your indifference game (your plate game) but now you since are emotionally invested, her problems become your problem. This wasn’t the case for plates/fwbs. You can't treat your LTR like a plate. (That's why you need control game on top of your indifference game for LTRs). You no longer get to say "she's not mine, it's just my turn". This is indifference. If you are invested, you are can no longer be that indifferent as investment and indifference are almost the opposite of each other. She is yours and now you have to make it so.
Then we get the exposure element. With plates/fwbs, you spend some sexual time with them and very little non sexual time with them. Maybe you see them once or twice or even, rarely, three times a week.But with LTRs it's different, you spend sexual time and non sexual time with her. This means she gets to see a lot more of you. It's different from plate/fwb where you mainly see each other in a sexual context for a few hours a week at most.
This is why PUA/new TRPers who use this knowledge to jump straight into a LTR have already failed. Not only do you have master another type of game (control), not only are you emotionally invested in that girl but you also have to spend a lot more sexual and non sexual time with her. This creates a bigger window to fuck up in.
So what do I propose before you think about LTRs?
The 25,25,25 rule.
25 N count
You need some notches on the belt before thinking about a LTR. Several reasons: get the experience of different kinds of women under your belt and to try many flavours before knowing what type of girl you would LTR. How do you know you prefer chocolate ice cream? Have you ever tried vanilla, strawberry, mint, coffee? Exactly.
But more importantly, getting your feet wet in casual sex (well in this case your dick) creates abundance and gives you the DGAF mentality you need to sustain a LTR. "The one who is least invested in the relationship has the most power". This is what enforces the prize mentality and proves to you, you don’t need women, but instead, you want them.
Nothing can replace this. No matter what you read, how much you read, you will never truly internalise an abundance mindset/prize mentality in a LTR. True abundance mentality doesn't come from reading the best posts from the best writers but from actually having had it. Once you have a good N count, only then you will internalise that women aren't that special and the LTR is genuinely a special gift you are giving to a girl.
When you don't do this, and LTR the first or second girl you find, things may be fine for a while. But eventually, there will be tells of scarcity because deep down you know the only way you will be able to have sex is through a LTR. This will make you will overthink your text responses...maybe not by a lot...but by just enough. Other small tells and subconscious scarcity mentality is what will eventually ruin your LTR.
By subconsciously feeling you can't risk ruining the LTR, you will eventually ruin the LTR.
But if you go into an LTR with some experience under your belt, you know you have options and know you can find other women if things go south since you have done it before. And this is, ironically, what keeps your LTR smooth.
25 months of red pill
You’ve been brainwashed for a long time, almost a lifetime. Expecting to go from blue pill to 100% red pill in 1 week or 1 month or even 1 year isn't feasible. Think how much brainwashing you have to undo. You have lived 15-20 years, if not more, under the lies of Hollywood, your parents, your teachers, your friends, social media and other mainstream establishments. There's no one thing I, or anyone else, can say to make any new reader go from blue to hard red. It's a culmination of things. At the start, you won't understand TRP fully. I didn't...nobody did. Contrary to the British cigarettes from Purple Pill debate, there's a lot of nuance to the red pill especially within the best posts and best posters. You will miss the nuance of some of these posts until you come back much later to re read them. When you return, you may find other meanings or interpretations conveyed. You may even find something completely new in a previously read post or be able to make new conceptual links from it. This is often the case with the best posts. There are lots of different ideas and concepts on this sub so you are gonna have to wrestle with all these different ideas and concepts to make them all fit into one coherent picture.
Month 1 of red pill is not the same as month 6 which is not the same as month 13.
25 years of age
This is probably the least important one out of the 3 but still important. This is mainly to let you get a 25 N count before you consider a LTR. How are you going to get a 25 N count if from the age of 18, all you do is LTRs? But another issue is that most LTRs when you are young dont last long anyway. Thats just the nature of the beast. Neither party really know what they really want or need in a LTR at that point.
Now, I am not saying that you should start making Excel spreedsheets of your conquests, or mark the date of your 25th Birthday and start counting down to when you can finally have a LTR. Don't be a sperg. Take this post seriously but not literally. (Tbf this goes for almost every post here).
The point isn't to give you a hard checklist of when you can finally have a LTR. This isn't about when I will give you my permission to have a LTR. You don't need it. This is just something to put things in context for you before you enter a LTR.
If you are 23, have a n count of 17 and been here for 3 years, then you might be ready for a LTR.
If you are 28, have a n count of 40 and been here for 1 year, then you might be ready for a LTR.
If you are 20, have a n count under 10 and been here for only a few months, then you probably aren't ready for a LTR.
LTRs are trickier than plates/fwbs. It is ill advised to hop into straight into a LTR after discovering red pill. Play the field first, your future LTRs will thank you later.