One of the core principles of The Red Pill is that women are the gatekeepers of sex, while men are the gatekeepers of commitment. This is a bit of an oversimplification, of course. In an ideal world, both men and women would benefit from both sex and commitment. But we do not live in an ideal world. Men, as a whole, have lower standards when it comes to willingness to fuck a woman, so it’s pretty darn easy for a woman to find a man willing to fuck her. So women can be choosy about sex. They have no shortage of offers.
The converse is only partly true, but it’s true in the way that matters. Needy, desperate, loser beta males far outnumber the awesome badasses in the world, and any one of those needy, desperate, loser men would leap at the chance to commit to a girl. So it’s not exactly hard for a woman to obtain commitment from a man. But it’s hard for a woman to obtain commitment from a man that she actually wants. Since the men she doesn’t actually want are pretty much invisible to her, her ability to secure commitment from a desirable man is the only fact that matters.
This leads the sexes to treat relationships as a transaction. A man grants a desirable woman his commitment, and the woman grants a desirable man sexual access. By committing to the woman, the man agrees to have sex only with her, and with nobody else. That means that if the woman doesn’t have sex with him tonight, he doesn’t have sex tonight. If she doesn’t have sex with him for a week, he doesn’t have sex for a week. If she strings him along only having sex once every two months, he only has sex once every two months. Commitment gives her control of his sex life, with the understanding that if either one of them withdraws his or her part of the transaction, the other can withdraw as well.
This is only part of the story, though.
Yes, a man’s commitment is the most valuable thing he can give to a woman, and a woman’s sex is the most valuable thing she can give to a man (“valuable” in both cases being from a SMV standpoint), but those aren’t the only things being exchanged. The man is also giving his sex to the woman, and the woman is giving her commitment to the man.
Women are not asexual. If a woman is attracted to a man, she wants to fuck him. If he doesn’t fuck her, she feels hurt and undesired. In fact, women have a very hard time separating their personal worth from their sexual worth. If you don’t fuck a woman who wants you, that’s perceived as a personal attack on her value as a human being. Not just an absence of sex. In fact, a good, hard, proficient fucking is one of the best ways to keep a woman attracted to you. All of the game and shit test destruction and badass behaviors are fine and good, and even necessary, but an awesome fuck makes that girl love the hell out of you and want even more. If a woman is strongly attracted to you and you don’t fuck her, even if you’re completely committed to her, she’ll leave or cheat. Your sex has value, too. Not just your commitment.
Also, women are not just giving you sex. They’re giving you their commitment as well. And that’s not completely valueless. A hot 20-something girl can go out and get fucked by a different guy every hour. If she commits to you, she’s giving that up to be fucked only by you. This is part of the reason that marrying a self-aware young woman at the peak of fertility is a wiser choice than marrying a used up 34-year-old. That 34-year-old usually isn’t swimming in sexual opportunity any more, so by committing to you, she’s not giving up anything of value. But if a hot 20-something wants to commit to you, her commitment has some worth to it. By committing and giving up other opportunities, she’s indicating that you’re worth something to her.
What’s the take-away?
If you want very badly to secure continual sexual access to a desirable woman, she’s the gatekeeper of both sex and commitment, and you’re yet another needy loser among the ranks.
But if a woman wants, very badly, to fuck you, and you’re an awesome guy with options elsewhere, then you are the gatekeeper of both sex and commitment. You can give her one of those, both of those, or none of those. The power is yours.