You can't sidebar and monk mode your way to success - eventually you have to step out into the real world. And the real world is not as easy as it seems. A guide on how to make the transition.

April 9, 2018

I know when I first found TRP, its been over 4 years. 4 years ago I was still in the early phases of it all. I was making a move to another state over a thousand miles away to start a new job and life. It was the perfect time for me to go monk mode. Having been a total blue pilled beta for the first 26 years of my life, TRP made a lot of sense to me right off the bat because I finally was able to figure out where I was going wrong all those years.


For about 3 months all I did was go monk mode. I read the sidebar multiple times and basically had it memorized. I also read all the top posts here on TRP. I read all the manosphere blogs, memorized the most common shit tests and the best retorts to them. I internalized all the core principles and the way to do things. I thought when I finally got out there, it would be easy. Why shouldn't it be? I did all my homework and all my reading. Applying it should be a piece of cake.

You will fail

Just going to put it out there. When you first go out in the real world to apply your newly learned red pill knowledge, tactics, strategy and game, you are going to fail. Expect it. Don't go out there assuming you are going to hit it out of the park and bang multiple women right off the bat. Mistakes will be made. I just got into the saltwater fish tank hobby. I had watched videos, read articles and done my research for years before jumping in. I thought things would go smoothly, but damn I am 2 months in and I still make mistakes, even rookie mistakes, what seems like every day. It's easy to get discouraged when you inevitably fail at first, but learn from your mistakes. Trial and error is the only way you will improve. You aren't going to be Chad right off the bat.

Game Speed vs. Practice Speed

Sometime in the Summer of 2014 is when I finally put my foot in the water. I went out with friends at work. I didn't shit where I eat so I tried to game the friends of their friends. It wasn't a complete disaster but it was apparent quickly that this shit was going to be a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. The thing that jumped out to me the most was how quickly everything happens. It reminds me of when I played football in college and we would always hear about practice speed vs. game speed.

An opponent we played every year was Air Force. They ran a unique gimmick offense that was one thing to practice for, but in games they ran it and executed it a hell of a lot faster. It was one thing to defend it in practice, it was another thing to defend it in the game.

Same thing with gaming in real life. It's one thing to read about scenarios and play through imaginary scenarios in your head. It's another thing to do it for real. The speed at which everything happens is extremely fast and its tough for a newbie to keep up. This is why actual real world experience is far more important than monk mode and reading. A lot of people say that the sidebar and top posts and reading material is high school and real world is college. Wrong. The side bar and top posts are pre school and the real world begins at kindergarten. You are just beginning and its a damn long way to go.

Shit tests aren't served up on a tee

So you have read numerous articles, blog posts and such about shit tests, you know all the common ones and the comebacks to them. That's great and all, you will encounter them. But the thing is, they aren't phrased exactly as they are in the posts you read. When going through scenarios in your head about being shit tested, you always pass them with flying colors because you are able to frame it in your head and frame the exact situation. Real life is different. Shit tests come when you least expect it, and are not always easy to spot. To this day, there are still times I go back to a conversation I had with a girl and realize something she said was a shit test and I was unable to realize it at the time. The common shit tests only make up a small fraction of actual shit tests you get. So if you think you will be able to beat them by memorizing the common ones, you are wrong. That's another reason why real world experience is so vital - so you can calibrate your shit test detector. Women will shit test you in so many ways, from so many angles, in so many styles, and at first it will be hard to recognize them all. Combine this with the above section, about game speed vs. practice speed, and you will quickly realize its not as easy as it seems. Real world experience, men. It's vital. Experience is needed to adapt to the speed of how quickly things happen and the infinite number of directions things will go.

Expect the unexpected

Gaming doesn't follow a script. It's not like you go meet a girl, you talk, you pass her shit tests, you escalate, you fuck. It's not a cookie cutter process that has a predetermined flow chart. There will be speed bumps, detours, obstacles. Adaptability is another reason why real world experience is so important - you have to be able to change your strategy and approach and adapt based on events that have already occurred. This is one thing that threw me off when I was still raw - I always envisioned things unfolding in a certain process and order, and never knew what to do with myself when things went off script. Learning how to improvise or change strategies in the middle of gaming a girl is a skill that will only be obtained by real world experience with trial and error.

With that being said....

There are 2 shit tests I get from damn near every girl who has ever been into me and who I have slept with. You will get these from women who are into you at some point, and you have to be prepared for them. If you get them, it is most likely a good thing. It means there is a good chance she is open to you.

  • Do you have a girlfriend?

  • Are you a virgin / how many girls have you slept with?

Agree & Amplify is the only way you should be answering these two questions.

There is a third shit test that is very common but those two are in a different tier in terms of frequency. That 3rd shit test is "I have a boyfriend". Ignore or A&A.

Slow Down

This isn't a race. Once you get the hang of things your natural instincts will be to go rapid fire and swat down all her shit tests and run game like a machine gun. This will make you seem a bit too fake, too eager, and out of control. This leads to a loss of frame. Slow down. Take a step back, take a deep breath and pace yourself. Don't answer her questions and don't pass her shit tests right away. Let a second or two pass before opening your mouth. Leave her hanging. The pregnant pause is a great tool in your arsenal. The pregnant pause is when you start talking, pause, and then resume. Don't sound like an auctioneer. The more in control you are with your words, the more you will be in frame.

Eye Contact and Body Language is half the battle

You can lose the game before you even open your mouth. Naturally when you open up to women, especially if you are new at this, you are going to get nervous. Your heart rate will jump, you will want to breathe faster, you will not be able to control the pitch and tone of your voice as well, you will be inclined to not make eye contact, and you will be tense. Women are very in tune to a man and will be able to sense all of that. You need to learn how to rein it in. Take a deep breath or two, gain your control and composure. As I said above, take it slow. Slow down. Get a hold of yourself. As time goes on and you get better at outcome independence it will be easier. But you need to train yourself. The best way to gain control is to maintain firm eye contact. Look her in the eye. Make her be the first one to look away, not you. Take up space with your body. If you are sitting down, spread your legs. Put your chest out and make sure your shoulders aren't slopped and collapsed inward. Take deep breaths and relax yourself before speaking.

Resist the Temptation

When reading on sidebar material and internalizing it all, and then playing through imaginary scenarios in your head, its easy to tell yourself you aren't going to resort to blue pilled tactics, behaviors, and responses. But the real world is different.

dr_warlock had a good post last week titled Beware the Beta Bait that goes into detail about this that I think is required reading.

It will be very tempting to open up and tell too much about yourself. It will be very tempting to play the role of comforter. It will be very tempting to play the role of emotional tampon. It will be very tempting to play the role of white knight/helper. It will be very tempting to divulge information about yourself like your job, income, and other details best left kept to yourself. It will be very tempting to say too much. You will think "Well this girl is different" or "This situation calls for it" but you have to stay focused and not diverge from the red pilled way of going about things. I can make an entire book of times I made an exception and it ended up costing me. I still make the mistake today.

Less is More

Too many men think they need to talk themselves up. Remember - you can't talk your way into attraction. You can't negotiate it. Opening up to girls and diverging all this info about you in an attempt to show her how awesome you are will not make her any more wet. All it can do is dry her. The 2/3 rule exists for a reason. I see so many posts on AskTRP asking why she doesn't want a 2nd date, and a common theme in those posts are that on Date #1 they went somewhere and "talked for hours".

You need to let yourself and your frame do the talking. Say what needs to be said, in as little words as possible, and then leave it at that. Don't say more than you need to say to get your overall message/point across. Everything you say must have a purpose, and your purpose is advancing your end goal of fucking her. If it's not going to advance that goal, chances are you should think twice before saying it.

On the Hook

Eventually, after trial and error and failures, you will do things right and get far enough with a woman to where you know you have her on the hook and she is into you and all you need to do is close the deal. Fishermen, when they have a fish on the hook, ramp up the intensity and battle the fish all the way until he has it in the boat.

When you have a woman on the hook, you have to do it a bit differently. Your natural urge will be to have a sense of urgency, ramp up the intensity so you can get her in bed. This will lead to a loss of frame, make you look too eager and thirsty and out of control. I know the first time I hooked a girl, I got way too excited and that excitement became external. She flaked. It's like a game of poker - you have to maintain a poker face. When you have a good hand in poker, if you aren't careful you will give away via your body language and facial expressions that you have a good hand. You must keep that shit to yourself. You have to maintain plausible deniability and keep your interest and excitement hidden. The possibility of you flaking has to be in her mind. Ramp up the intensity, but in a way that appears like you are calm and in control and outcome independent. Do not show your hand. Reel her in without her knowing she is being reeled in. This is where your sidebar reading about kino comes into play.

Kino takes practice

Like with everything else, its one thing to read about kino and how to do it properly, its another thing to actually do it. The more you do it, the more natural it becomes, and you will find what works for women, and what doesn't. The overall number one key of kino is to make it appear spontaneous, natural and smooth, not forced, abrupt, and pre-planned. Where or how you touch her does not matter as much as timing. Yet another reason real world experience is so vital.

You must maintain plausible deniability until you stick your dick inside of her.

Do not drop plausibile deniability until you are balls deep in her. Period. Even though you know the road will eventually end at sex, even though she knows it, you do not mention it. If she mentions it, fine, but play it cool. Do not show your hand. Period. There have been multiple times in my experience where a girl flat out told me she wanted to fuck me, and I was like "OK, lets do it" and eventually she flaked out once her LMR/ASD shield went up. Watch what they do, not what they say. Until your dick is inside of her, you can not ever let your intentions be known. Invite her over but don't give her a reason. If she asks why say its to show her your <insert thing here>, for me its my fish tank. The second she knows your true intentions, chances are its over. It's one thing for her to assume your intentions, which is in your favor. But if she knows them you are more than likely screwed.

Take it even slower once you are in the location you want to fuck.

Most guys here will end up fucking at your place or her place. Either way is fine. I've done both. Your natural urge once you are at your final destination is to escalate the fuck out of everything, rip your clothes off and fuck. No. Like I stated above, plausibile deniability must be in play until the very end.

Chances are once you are alone with a girl that the hormones are raging and you will be extremely horny and dying to get things going. You must fight this and instead take a step back. Patience and timing is key. Being too urgent, too eager, will backfire.

For example, when I have a girl in my apartment, I don't go straight for the bedroom. I turn on the lights, check my mail, turn on the TV, act like she isn't even there. Trust me, this won't kill the mood. You already have her on the hook, you don't need to go for the reel in right away. Show her around. Pour her a drink. Watch some TV. Show her things. I am not saying do this for hours, but you need to let enough time pass to where plausibile deniability can set in. You have to stay in control.

Escalate slowly

From there its best to slowly escalate to set the tone and vibe. Once you have set the mood, you can escalate faster with more intensity. Read her body language and emotions. Chances are she is horny and it won't take much, but you still have to be restrained and in control.

There will be resistance

No matter how into you she is, no matter how down to fuck she is, almost always she will put up a fight and resist before allowing you to fuck her. This is normal. Watch what she does, not what she says. LMR/ASD is always your final obstacle. The best way I handle it is to ignore, withdraw the intensity a little bit, then slowly ramp back up. Chances are you will get further along this time. LMR/ASD isn't a one and done thing either, there is a good chance you will have to burst through it several times before you gain entry to her vagina. Stay the course and be patient. You will know when she truly isn't interested and sex isn't happening. She will let you know, it will be clear, and it won't be a question. If this does happen, do not push further. You don't want to get hit with a rape accusation. Best to play it safe.

Unleash your inner animal and fuck her hard

Once the clothes come off and you know you have burst through the LMR/ASD its go time. I know my biggest fear when I started was that I would be disappointing in bed and sex would be awkward. It's natural to think this when you are inexperienced. Even if you are inexperienced, the best thing you can do is take total control and dominate her. Don't go too far to where assault and battery and rape charges will be imminent, but dominate her sexually like a man within bounds. Move her around with force, control her, make her do what you want her to do. Call her names. Slap her on the ass. Grab her tits. Have your way with her. Don't take it slow. This isn't a romantic comedy where the sex is slow and calm and smooth. If you go hard, then it won't matter how long you last or how good you are. Going hard will mask mistakes you make until you can get more experienced. I am not saying lasting long isn't important, but going hard can override the disappointment in other areas.

Take the proper precautions

By this point your biggest enemy is rape accusations. If you have security cameras at home, its best to have them going during your encounter. If you have ways of recording your encounters, do it, whether it be video or just voice. It doesn't hurt to send a text message afterward telling her you had a good time and if she does the same you can use that. Wrap up for any sex you have. Make sure your condoms are fully disposed of.

Avoid the Oneitis Trap

The first few successful sexual encounters you have will have you itching to do it all over again. The chemicals released during sex will cause you to want to bond with whoever you fucked, especially if it was good and she is hot. Feelings will arise for these women. The one thing you can't do is get attached to them. If you want to LTR them, you have to make them prove it over time, and not just because you and her had a good fuck. You have to fight your instincts here. A successful sexual encounter should be followed up with casting your net wider and expanding your options, not zeroing in on that girl you just fucked. One rule I gave myself is to never fuck the same girl twice in a row. Fuck at least one other girl before you go back to another one.

Despite my TRP reading and knowledge, the first girl I banged after swallowing the pill I got oneitis for. And I got jealous when she banged another dude. A bit too jealous and it took me about a month to snap out of it. Don't make the same mistake I did. The road doesn't end once you get a lay. It's just beginning. You have to continue to cultivate relationships with new women.

If its just one plate, is it really spinning plates?

From my experience, its not spinning plates unless you have multiple plates. If I ever had just one plate, it felt more like a pseudo-girlfriend than a plate. It's best to spin multiple plates instead of just one. For me I don't make a girl a plate unless I can make another girl a plate too. Options and abundance really is the key to success here and having two or more plates is infinitely superior to having just one. My experience speaks directly to this.

Uncharted Territory: LTR

This is an area outside of my expertise, as I have not dabbled in an LTR since swallowing the pill. There are desires to do so, but I have always resisted. An LTR for me would require extreme vetting, the right girl and the right situation. You shouldn't have to look for an LTR, the right LTR should fall in your lap without having to really try. If you have to find an LTR, you will always settle and make compromises.

I see so many guys here on TRP and AskTRP who are so quick to jump into LTRs. I believe this is rooted in a severe lack of abundance and they feel the need to LTR the first girl they have success with. Why? You are far better off being extremely patient and playing the field. Get experience. Bang a bunch of different women and see what you like and don't like. How will you know what woman will be right for you in terms of an LTR if you have limited experience playing the field? It would be like buying a house after just going to one open house. Yeah the house might work for you and be a good one, maybe even great, but is it the best you can do? That is the core of LTR patience. Is she the best you can do? How would you know if you didn't fully explore your options?


  • The sidebar, the manosphere, the blogs, the articles, the top posts, they are starting points. You will not become a successful Chad simply by reading them and then going out there. Success is cultivated by a lot of real world experience.

  • Until you actually get out there, you will have no idea what is coming. The speed and variety of the shit thrown at you from women is something you can not prepare yourself for other than actually immersing yourself in the fire from the front line and learning from your mistakes and experiences.

  • Shit tests are not served up on a tee. You will be shit tested in many different ways and not even realize it. Learn how to recognize shit tests quickly and respond to them quickly. There are far too many ways women will shit test you for you to be able to memorize a list of them and the common retorts to them. You can only master shit tests via real world experience.

  • When gaming women you have to remain in total control. Lack of control = lack of frame. Control must be maintained via speech, body language, eye contact and facial expressions.

  • Less is more. Say what needs to be said and keep it at that, and your frame will do the rest of the talking.

  • Never ever ever reveal your hand(intentions) to a woman. Plausible Deniability must be maintained at all times until your dick is actually inside of her.

  • The best way to compensate for a lack of sexual experience or fear of disappointing her in the bedroom is to fuck her hard like an animal and dominate her.

  • The temptation of oneitis WILL set in when you succeed in fucking a woman. You have to do everything in your power to resist the temptations. It is imperative to maintain options at all times.

  • Don't be so desperate and quick to LTR a woman. Play the field, you owe it to yourself. An LTR has to work for you and fit for you, not the other way around. Too many men compromise on LTRs by finding one that sucks the least rather than works best for them.

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Post Information
Title You can't sidebar and monk mode your way to success - eventually you have to step out into the real world. And the real world is not as easy as it seems. A guide on how to make the transition.
Author mallardcove
Upvotes 1086
Comments 77
Date April 9, 2018 10:04 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit /r/TheRedPill
Archive Link
Original Link
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[–]SlyGradient[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children) | Copy Link

Most of this is simply a recap of a lot of basic TRP principles, but it is well written with a number of good personal stories and insights. +1

[–]Romerike70 points71 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wish I had read this in my teens. Many moons ago. Thanks for the effort.

[–][deleted] 44 points45 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

You will fail

After truly taking TRP, one doesnt have the ability to be angry or frustrated with himself for failing. Its absolutely liberating to throw off the shackles and be ZFG about so called failure. Always a next time and nothing is permanent

[–]12wangsinahumansuit3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

What does ZFG stand for?

[–]Zelthia11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m gonna guess it’s Zero Fucks Given

[–]CovertCalvert2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Zero fucks given

[–]Ill_Will750 points51 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Well written and organized. I've been devouring sidebar material and the like for four months now, and what you say about practice speed vs real game speed resonates with my current struggle now. I constantly reflect back on what happened in a conversation between me and a new woman and realize that I fucked up a shit test because I was trying to speak and move too quickly. Will continue to fail and gain more experience in an effort towards progress. Thank you for this post

[–]sj2k27 points28 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Writing down the shit tests you heard after a night out plus 3 clever responses to them is a great way to internalize improvement. I need to get back into that process but it helped at the time I was doing it.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That is an excellent recommendation.

[–]TRP_mask4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is actually a great idea

[–]mallardcove[S] 24 points25 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I am 4 years in and it still happens to me. I'll reflect on a conversation I had with a girl a few hours ago and realized I fucked up. I don't think you ever master it. You just continue to learn and get better.

If there is a guy out there who doesn't make mistakes I'd like to meet him.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Most men's nature runs against being actors (unlike females who are born actresses), so slip-ups are ever behind the next corner even if we know they are slip-ups.

[–]whatsthisgarg8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

If there is a guy out there who doesn't make mistakes I'd like to meet him.

That guy does not exist, but

I don't think you ever master it.

You do master it. Or, it is possible.

I never even thought of "shit tests" until I read some TRP. Then I looked back over my life and identified some. In every case, I just ignored and laughed, the natural response.

I wonder if you could describe a shit test that would not be best responded to just by ignoring it.

[–]lifeisweirdasfuck4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

When women threw shit-tests you should usually act like she never said anything. The best thing that could happen is her changing her mind quick and excuse herself for whatever she said.

[–]AvengerSentinel14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Great post. You've zeroed in on a crucial point: executing game IRL as opposed to simply reading about it is different. Not impossible, but takes some adjusting. I compare it to shooting in an empty basketball court vs. playing an Away game in a packed arena where calls aren't going your way. It's pretty common for RP'ers to make notable self-improvements, then revert back to being Blue Pill after a chick falls super hard for him.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great post. You've zeroed in on a crucial point: executing game IRL as opposed to simply reading about it is a completely different animal.

The only real difference is the oneitis threat. If you are oneitis-proof and just don't care, you'll do everything fine, or nearly so.

[–]pragmaticminimalist11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Everybody has a plan 'til they get punched in the mouth." ~ Mike Tyson

In rescue work, we commonly "take a drag off the metaphorical cigarette" This helps us slow down, survey the scene and do no further harm to ourselves or our team. I try to do this when it's game time- your observation on the speed of it all is accurate. By taking that drag, I allow myself a beat and re-frame myself into "say less" mode...never get it totally right, but slowing down is key. Excellent Post

[–]VanSeslas10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Loved the whole post. One crucial thing I think you didn’t mention and that is is the skill of calibration. This is a skill ONLY the real world experience will help you develop and it’ll serve way much more than just “advices” you read everywhere. A very good use of calibration is where you spoke of how slow you should take things when you get home or have to “mask” your intentions till you get her home. Some girls WILL get BORED cause of how you mask your intentions. Legit. Some girls get horny just hearing you want to take them home and fuck them. Some will call you a fucking creep. Calibration. You get home, if you take it TOO slow when she’s horny, she’ll block you later on. And I don’t care how “alpha” you are , you didn’t smash. With some, being THAT SLOW is the best thing to get them to unleash their freak. One thing that’s very important is knowing how to calibrate and never play a certain role longer than needed. Cause things can get quite shitty if you thought you had her in your frame but tables turn. Regardless of whether you sticked to TRP rules or not, the question is: did you f-close? Of course with abundance, comes the possibility to perfect your technique, calibrate better and allow certain scripts not to happen anymore till you get what you want.

[–]mallardcove[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No doubt about it.

The one thing that frustrated me at the beginning is how nothing followed a script. When you read the sidebar and field reports and everything you believe everything happens and unfolds the same way.

In reality it doesn't work that way. You need experience to be able to read and predict women and their tendencies. Which is why this post I wrote, even though it was written "in order" is not a manual or guide on how your interactions with women will work. Things will deviate. Taking it slow with one woman might not work with another woman. Calibration is a good term to use because only experience will help you learn how to proceed and act with women based on the traits they display when interacting with them.

But as a beginner its best to play it safe and take it slow instead of act too quickly and fuck things up. Only when you have the experience is it wise to begin mixing things up.

[–]sorad7920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Calibration is obviously important, but one should also remember that the difference between calibrating and being a people-pleaser isn't that huge

[–]wheel_14 points15 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

The biggest misconception about monk mode is that it requires people to isolate from others. That's a terrible mistake. It's called monk mode for a reason, not hermit mode.

[–]mallardcove[S] 17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lots of users here and on AskTRP think monk mode is some kind of way to be a hermit and all of a sudden transform into Chad like a caterpillar would transform into a butterfly in a cocoon.

In reality most of them are hamstering and they use monk mode as an excuse to not get out there and continue to be a hermit, making excuses as to why they aren't getting out there along the way.

Monk mode has its place and reasons but it should be used to get your mind aligned properly. It won't transform you into anything or get you any better at game.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your point is correct....however, some guys aren't going to get fuckable girls unless they lift heavy and do those other two exercises (fork putdowns and plate pushaways) for about a year.

Also....if you were a little beta bitch on the wrong end of your oneitis branch swinging away, you're a damned fool if you think you can "swallow the red pill" and start spinning plates the next day.....not that you're suggesting such a thing in any way.

Solid contribution on the headline post, btw.

[–]hardly_incognito9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I won't really partake in a monk mode due to LAW 18:

Do not build fortresses to protect yourself, isolation is dangerous.

[–]wheel_2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Also keep in mind that the 48 laws of power are heavy context dependent.

[–]hardly_incognito4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, but in very few circumstances do I see it to be beneficial for men to heavily isolate themselves. Everything is contextual in life.

Trust me, I've had psuedo-monk modes where I only lifted weights, studied for my classes, and played video games. No social life at all. In the end it really took me back in not only gaming women, but social interactions with men.

Unless you are someone who has some serious work that needs to be addressed, you need to be regularly speaking with and building relationships with people. I can say flat-out that last year I took the time to build relationships despite wanting to isolate myself, and that in turn has created opportunities that are only now shining through.

Opportunities that could change my life.

[–]KnowEvil11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I didn't actually read this post, but all's I have to say is go fail.

Seriously. Go flirt with that random cute girl and fail. Why? Cause you need to learn where you failed. After you learn, from that move on, not just move on, but move on to the next cute chick. Fail and then move on. Rinse and repeat until the only thing left is (I've fucked her so much do I want to keep fucking her?)

I've had oneitis multiple times. I feel like oneitis is the is role swapping. Basically saying "I'm okay with being the woman even though you are." I was at point so low that I'd have been okay raising some other guy's kid. Now? Fuck no. Did I stutter? FUCK NO

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was at point so low that I'd have been okay raising some other guy's kid.

Sounds familiar. I almost got into a relationship with a late 20's single mom when I was 19. Oneitis hit me so strong I was ready to do anything for her and her kid.

What is so amazing to me learning about TRP is how well hidden the machinations of women (nature) are in bringing out female traits in men. It is so cunning, decisive, and effective I can only stand in awe at the army of lazyboy-sitting beer-gut-slinging slobs that men are today.

[–]Ultra8884 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great read. Very well written.

[–]bigjoewanghoe99 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

You mentioned take it slowly once she is in your house. I'm guessing this is different with different girls. I've had success with girls by grabbing them the second they come in and starting to make-out. It catches them off-guard and they can't think about anything else but fucking you.

[–]mallardcove[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean not every situation is the same.

With experience comes the ability to be able to read what the situation is and adapt/change if you need to. When you have fucked enough girls you'll know when to accelerate and when to take it slow.

There will be situations where you may not want to take it slow once you are at your final destination and jump head first into banging. You just have to be sure its the right move. Most of the time it isn't, especially if you are inexperienced

Basically my post was written as if I were writing it for myself to read 4 years ago. Beginners/newbies may need to do things a bit different than seasoned veterans. It's better to be patient and take things slow than to go too fast and fuck things up when you don't have the experience in these situations.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, the pacing and scenario he envisioned are the median ones.

[–]Rabbit-Punch18 points19 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I have a theory that most TRP posts like these are written the day after the op loses their virginity

[–]mallardcove[S] 39 points40 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Actually, I am still a virgin. Have never even touched a girl. I came close the other day in line at the store. A girl turned around and we almost made contact but she moved her elbow at the last second. So I guess you can say I basically had sex with her since we almost touched.

[–]pragmaticminimalist9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

holding frame- punching bunnies

[–]eboody2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is exactly what I needed right now

[–]sleepyblanket2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

does red pill mode ever stop? like what if i eventually find my future wife by banging all these chicks. is there a healthy medium where i dont always have to be 100% full blown RP?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You mean?

If I didn't misread your question, the answer would be: You will still have to game your wife and the "special girl" who is "unlike all others". Sorrily.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

LOL! When they stop being AWALT then you can stop too..

[–]majorketone4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I actually did better when I first went out with TRP knowledge than I do now because I had that newbie confidence. I never really had a monk mode. Now that the initial burst is gone, my game is much weaker. I think this is the lack of taking advantage of my newbie confidence. I got a few lays and plates and became a theory junkie. Now that my plates are all broken it's harder.

[–]mallardcove[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are suffering from what I call "overthink syndrome". I think its a phase most of us go through, where we try to be too tactical and analytical.

KISS - Keep it simple stupid, not everything has to be analyzed and calculated

[–]mcs0071 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I noticed the same with myself, but in the end you'll be better for knowing about trp. The newbie confidence is great when you have it but you're limited to only fucking girls. TRP is about sooo much more than just fucking girls. Yea we all enjoy a warm juicy pussy, but girls are only a secondary prize. If you build yourself into a man, and reach your definition of success then women will start pouring into your life. I still have a ways to go, but this is what I have noticed in my life.

p.s. you can still fuck women without getting sidetracked from reaching the level of success that you want to reach.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If anyone is interested, Brian from the fearless man on YouTube touches on a lot of these topics and takes a very zen approach. Very helpful for getting motivated to go out and exist in the world

[–]infamous32381 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great post. I agree with almost everything here.

Do not drop plausibile deniability until you are balls deep in her. Period.

I disagree. I think there's a time and a place for being extremely direct about your intentions. Women are turned on by guys who are direct. Telling a girl -- at the right time, after proper escalation, and reading the situation correctly -- that you are planning to fuck her senseless later, can only help you, not hurt you.

[–]ReddJive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

AIn't this the fucking truth.

It's like a swedish compass. Which is just a snuff can with a mirror inside.

Doesn't tell you where you're going. Just tells you who's lost.

Over time you just know where you are because you recognize that tree over there.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

Until your dick is inside of her, you can not ever let your intentions be known. Invite her over but don't give her a reason. If she asks why say its to show her your <insert thing here>, for me its my fish tank. The second she knows your true intentions, chances are its over.

This is bullshit. As it will result in a lot of wasted time with validation seeking women. Imply that you want to fuck, if she shuts you down immediately, then you didn't waste any time. If she doesn't then you just saved yourself time and $$$ wining & dining her ass.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

By that logic you should walk up to anyone and open with "hey wanna fuck?" and if they look at you weird well, "she wasnt worth the time anyway"

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link


Of course walking up to anyone and saying "wanna fuck" isn't going to work. But going on dates 2,3,4, and 5 without "making your intentions known" is a waste of time and you end up in the friend zone.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

"going on dates 2,3,4, and 5 without "making your intentions known" a move is a waste of time and you end up in the friend zone."

Quote the part of the post where the man said ANY of this

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't have to quote anything as this is common knowledge. You obviously don't know what you're talking about so go read the sidebar.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

All the man said was that you should retain plausible deniability and avoid ASD. He didn't say go on 5 dates and pay..

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link


I tend to agree. This is bullshit-

My favorite way to play it is with a heavy vibe of "I think I want to fuck you" make it clear you are a sexual person... not trying to trick her into bed,

But as the date or relationship progresses make sure she sees how hard you are vetting her to win her right to get the dick.

That's just the way I am though, I won't dick most good looking girls because of reasons- It's not the way I used to be when I was say, 23 years old...

If you are stating from the get go that you want to fuck with zero vetting, it's just desperate, no way to put around it... and if you are hard nexting girls who don't put out right away you are just being very aggressive in seeking out other desperate women.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you are stating from the get go that you want to fuck with zero vetting, it's just desperate, no way to put around it... and if you are hard nexting girls who don't put out right away you are just being very aggressive in seeking out other desperate women.

You absolutely don't want to appear desperate, you also don't want to seek out desperate women as they tend to not be very attractive, which describes the area I live in. The state health dept. says that 2 out of 3 people who reside here are overweight. This is coming from the state gov't! Doesn't bode well for my dating prospects.

[–]Chamblissw0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean you can monk after you’re successful, which for some is just getting through the day mate. TLDR fuck these hoes get money

[–]BorisJohnson4PM0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A really good beginners guide for TRP, after taking a long time away from TRP for a number of reasons, it’s been a well-written refresher

[–]bitchpotatobunny0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Long read, but a good read. Nothing ground breaking, but clear, concise writing with quality content. Thanks for putting this together. It's always good to read a refresher with a personal twist.

One thing I might add to the playing the filed part at the end. Deciding to jump into a LTR is more than just discovering a woman that's a good fit for you. There may be a scenario where the right one does fall into your lap (let's assume legitimacy here and not false oneitis), but you're not ready, or it's not what you want at that time. Don't just jump into a LTR because a good fit came along, and you're not sure if that'll happen again. That's not a good reason and will end up in disaster. Make sure it's something you actually want, and not just something you think you "should" do.

[–]mallardcove[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The 25/25 rule is a good one. Be at least 25 years old, and have fucked at least 25 different women, before ever considering an LTR.

[–]KekistanRefugee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know a guy who is the son of a farmer that got married at 21. Can you believe this shit? I wasn’t even TRP at that time, but I still could tell it was stupid as fuck.

[–]throwawaysarenotok0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You state to never reveal your sexual intentions to a woman and always maintain plausible deniability, but Alan Roger Currie in his book Mode One says it’s better to be honest and straightforward with your sexual intentions to avoid wasting time on a woman and being manipulated. What is your take on that, how do we reconcile the two concepts?

Do we just keep escalating without being overtly explicit, or is it good to sometimes be direct about our sexual intentions?

[–]mallardcove[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can be direct with your intentions while at the same time being subtle and maintaining plausible deniability. It's a learned skill that you have to calibrate.

It's kind of like "Watch what they do, not what they say" in terms of women. Your actions and frame can let your intentions be very clear even if your words aren't saying otherwise.

[–]SexdictatorLucifer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Note that sometimes LMR is best bypassed with increasing escalation depending on the girl. If you read her right, there's a chance she's more freaky than you realize and isn't sure if your gonna fuck her like she wants you to. For example, one time recently she gave a little LMR on my couch trying to make out with her so I grabbed her firmly on her throat. Instant drenching and zero LMR after that.

[–]Travant_160 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You played the Air Force? Did you go to CSU?

[–]AlfredKinsey0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

*Clapping from the sidelines.

This is a great guide!

Hope you hit 1,000.

[–]NoeticThoughts[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great post, thank you brother. Godspeed

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There isn't really anything original or novel here :/

Over 2000 words and the equivalent time to say "read the side bar," meh.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Monk mode goal isn't to get laid or hoping to attract. Sandman eventually went monk and he was approached by several women. Monk mode is mostly to get rid of addiction to women. That is it.

[–]bikermonk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Happy to see a TRP post on the front page

[–]WolfofAnarchy0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

I am reading a book ''Mode One' about direct communication and always making your intentions clear; but you say to NEVER do this to maintain plausible deniability. which one is it?

The book says that direct communication is confident, hot and most importantly; HONEST. I don't understand why you would forcefully lie about your intentions.

[–]mallardcove[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's possible to do both.

This too is something learned via experience. You can make your intentions clear while at the same time not outright stating your intentions. Let your actions and frame do the talking, not your mouth.

[–]WolfofAnarchy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Let your actions and frame do the talking, not your mouth.

Seems like that should go in the original post, this is gold dude. Thanks.

I just realized I did this during my most successful seduction night. Constantly looking at her lips, going to her apartment even though I never said what I wanted to do. Great post dude!

[–]agree-with-you0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree, this does seem possible.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Is the book about male-female courtship and seduction? 😐

[–]j_arbuckle20121 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Alan Roger Currie wrote it. It's damn good.

The thing is, this is a good post on one single person's experience. However, a lot of it can be mitigated by getting out of your head, focusing on why you're doing what you're doing (Mental Point of Origin) and picking one thing and getting good at it. Monk mode doesn't mean not speaking to people. It means focusing on yourself, first and foremost.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I gave it a look right now. What to say? The best fitting advice for different sets of people (men) is different sets of advice.

It seems an original book from an original viewpoint.

[–]monadyne1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Making your intentions clear in communication would be extremely useful if all parties are rational operators. In a business meeting or other professional setting, that would be important no matter what genders present. But in romantic circumstances with women, their mindsets will be more emotional than rational. If you come out and say directly what your intentions are, that removes the "romance" from the dynamic.

TRP exists because women are different from men, think and operate differently.

[–]Peter_B_Long0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The side bar and top posts are pre school and the real world begins at kindergarten. You are just beginning and its a damn long way to go.

Agreed. I've had successes since discovering TRP 2 years ago (plate spinning, cold approaching, even having a girl desiring my commitment), but then I compare them to EC's and it really does feel like kindergarden.

The best way to gain control is to maintain firm eye contact.

Advice to anyone reading this.. AVOID PORN! I watched porn a few days ago and the day after I could not look anybody in the eye for some reason. I'm usually great with eye contact but this one time I watched porn it made the next day shameful or something.

It will be very tempting to open up and tell too much about yourself.

I usually catch myself when I begin to think of something about myself I want to share. Something like a sad story about my past. Sometimes it makes it through and I regret it immediately.

[–]danoranika 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

Is there a TLDR for the TLDR? Sheesh

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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