A while ago I posted a surprisingly popular guide on what to do if you got a stranger pregnant. If you haven't read it it's in the top posts of all time on TRP go ahead and take your fill. Just spare me the lecture on condom use, seriously people are STILL commenting reminding me that I'm too stupid to function. k.

Observations at TRP Over the six months since my post I've seen several posts talking about how the family court system is a scam and to avoid it like the plague. Just straight up abandon all hope ye who enter here style of writing. I absolutely agree that the family court system is broken but I think calling it a scam is a stretch. A bitter and unhelpful outlook that is basically Aesop's fable, The Fox and the Grapes.

Personal Update The whole point of my post was that a dad CAN win in the family court system. While my daughter's mom was able to use several ridiculous stalling tactics my parental time went from 26 hours a week (1 overnight + 2 small visits) to 72 hours a week (48 hour period and 24 hour period) this week. My daughter turned 1 this week (to give people a time frame, it took exactly one full year to get here).

My daughters mom is not on drugs. My daughter comes to me clean with clean clothes and my daughter is fortunately an easy going and happy baby (no signs of stress when I get her). My daughter's mom is not in and out of the jail system. In court I tell them she's a good mom. She is a good mom. Honestly, in terms of getting a random girl pregnant, I lucked out. Dad's only "win" if the Mom's are druggies, in jail, or something worse. Right? No, obviously not.

How did I "win" if the whole court system is a scam? Because it's not. If you go into the family court system fighting based on how you think it SHOULD be instead of how it actually IS. Then, sorry dude, you're going to lose and it's going to look like a scam. But we don't live in that world we live in this world.

The System I think that Greg Doucette in his "38 tweets" explains it bests (saw this recently on MSN). Google it. Take it in. TLDR: If you're ever in a family court system realize what you are up against. It's sexism without sexists. The preexisting structures and processes tend to create certain outcomes by default. He talks about the legal system but it works here too, "that while no individual cog in the system is unjust the system itself promotes an unjust outcome each time." BUT the reason why I won is because I knew going into it that the system must still have rules.... watching cavemen alpha red pill logical "but I have a perfect case" equality men going into family court system causes me actual pain. How many men must fail before Neo arrives?

Are we not The Red Pill? "What you must learn is that these rules are no different that the rules of a computer system. Some of them can be bent. Others can be broken. Understand?" -Some indie flick probably

The Strategy Guys generally fail to get what they want in court because they: don't know their rights, can't afford it, work too much, lose their frame and do something that harms their case, straight give up, or you know have some geographic or lifestyle issue. If you live multiple states away you need to get real. Like seriously what the hell are you thinking? Just because the courts should give you custody doesn't mean they do. You need to move to Mississippi if you want to be in the kids life. Win custody in Mississippi, let Mom get herself thrown in jail if she's crazy. Then while she's in Jail get a court order allowing you to move. I'm trapped in Indiana a state that I loathe. Spoiled by the likes of Colorado, Hawaii, and Oregon. I still have a long term plan to get out of this state but it's not going to include just abruptly trying to take a small child away from their mom (cause remember that system with rules I talked about earlier?) Baby steps, long term. That's the system. That's the rules.

The Other Issues Maintain Frame (you break frame and ruin your case) Long term toxic warfare endurance (you brake frame you ruin your case). Do not yell, intimidate, hit, or send dumb ass text messages.

Many a night I spent, months before my daughter was born, wondering if I had the stamina to fight this seemingly unwinnable fight for someone I'd never met. Could I maintain frame for months and not lose it? Did I have what it takes to straight up act blue pill (as people pointed out in my guide) in order to use my blue pill ways as evidence in court that I was a great dad? I can't help you there. I did it. Yes many of my "blue pill" crap came up in court as justification for me being a good dad. Yes I knew I was being her bitch. But I wasn't trying to build attraction with Mom at that point I was trying to get custody of my child.

Guess what? The more power the courts give me, the better Mom is treating me. She hasn't been toxic to me in a long time. It's only the powerless that girls disrespect remember?

Rule 0 If you find out you're having a baby. If you are not with the mom. If you want to have something close to 50/50 custody and have a say in parental decision making responsibilities. If you want real time with your children you're going to need two things that most males do not have the luxury of possessing at the same time: time and money. Mom does not need money she gets yours and she doesn't work so she has all the time in the world for 100% custody (that's the "preexisting structures and processes tend to create certain outcomes by default" thing I was talking about earlier). That's what you're up against.

Tons of money and no time and you're going to be the every other weekend father. Tons of time and no money means you're going to be representing yourself and the judge will straight up tell you to get a job (sexism!). I told my attorney I was only working 20 hours a week and he told me the judge was going to tell me to get a second job. Mom probably only works 20 hours a week but that's OK!

Like so many things in life the family court system can't be won by going directly for what you want. If you go in guns blazing but live in a different state you're fighting an impossible fight. The system does not allow for that. The system does not allow for you working 60 hours a week to pay for court costs. You'll be paying child support based on 60 and see your kids every other weekend (I know Dads who have child support based on 60 hours a week where I work). You need to keep your hours low and your free time high. You need to live as close to Mom as possible.

I work as a Nurse (3 12 hour shifts) and then I'm done for the rest of the week. If you don't have a high paying, low time commitment job like me, my strategy would be to ask family for help fighting a custody battle. My entire family would have helped me financially if I needed them to. If you don't have that I'd seriously consider moving back into home with a parent and saving up three months rent to start the custody battle. Time is more valuable than money.

Conclusion The point is guys that you need to seriously modify your life if you want to win a custody battle. It's more than just the 48 laws of power that I did in my last post. My life is structured in a way that prevents any excuse but having the outcome that I got. The 48 Laws of Power, huge boon, gave me the tools I needed to pry the power away from Mom without her even realizing that it was me doing it AND it got everyone involved on my side. The pieces were on my side AND my life was arranged to allow for it to reasonably occur. And thus the system which awards the one who works least, awarded me too because I have 4 full days off a week.