Johnny is a proud new owner of a bar. He saved up all his money, did research into starting a business, and picked a decent location. Within a few weeks business was steady, and he was staying afloat. He did notice that his bar was completely empty during the weekdays after lunch. He thought, "if I can just get people into my bar during these hours I could make so much more money!" So he hatched a plan. Free appetizers during 1 pm to 5 pm every weekday. His markups on alcohol were quite high, so he'd surely make profit off this venture.
Except that's not what happened. People started coming into his bar alright, but they were chowing down on the appetizers. They'd hang around there all day without ordering anything else, taking up tables that could have been used to serve paying patrons. A few weeks after this disastrous mistake Johnny is forced to end the promotion, but now people refuse to go as they feel it's no longer "worth it". Johnny is forced to shutter his doors. What did he do wrong?
I'll tell you. He set the wrong incentive.
Consider the nice guy. No, not the weak, confrontation-avoiding incel loser. The average guy, who for a myriad of reasons ended up completely beta. Think of how Joe Beta behaves around his girlfriend. He wants to be kind, and reciprocate kindness. That's what feminists tell you to do, no? Just treat her like a human being. So when she tells you that she wants to travel by herself, or that she's going clubbing with her friends, or that she doesn't really feel like exercising, what does Joe Beta say? "That's totally cool, babe. Go for it".
What does Jenny Cockhopper hear? I'm free to act as indiscriminately as I like.
We all want to believe we're good people. I donate to select charities regularly, and I'm involved in some mentoring. But I've done things that most people would consider shitty. Of course, I just described every human being. Everyone is self-motivated to some degree or other, so when you set an incentive for them they will act on it. Jenny will go off and get drilled by Chad Thundercock because she has every incentive to. What does she lose by ditching Joe Beta? Especially if she can shape perceptions in her favour.
Private companies will pay their employees as little as possible. Why? Because there is incentive to. Employees generally will not work more than they're paid to (unless they're at risk for termination). Again, why? Incentivization.
Next time someone asks you to do something, consider what you're incentivizing. Someone asks you to help them with their workload. Are you creating an image of being helpful? Or are you incentivizing them to further dump their work on you?
You only get what you incentivize in life. Never do anything important without considering what message you're signalling to others.