My (38M) wife (37F) and I have been going through an extremely rough time since June. She was having an emotional affair with someone she plays softball with and I got trickle-truthed to hell for 3 months. She finally went no contact with him on October 15th (that I know of), and we were "seeing where we are" for the time being.
I have only asked one thing from her during all of this: stop talking to and seeing this other person while we are figuring out where our marriage is. She has apologized for hurting me, but not about the affair actually happening; she still does not regret doing it to this day. Wednesday evening she told me she wanted to go to a happy hour that her old boss was putting on - the man she was seeing works at the same company. I asked her if he would be there and she said "probably"... and that she wouldn't leave if he showed up. Well, he showed up, and she didn't get home until 11:45pm. She told me that she didn't like who she was with me and that she wanted a divorce ... but we could "wait until after the holidays" to file.
I'm tired. Tired of all the lies, tired of doing everything while she lays in bed all evening. She has been mentally checked out for a long time and I have had to pick up the slack. I have made a lot of changes in the past 4 months ... I have lost 30 lbs, am more attentive, do the dishes, cook, clean, do the yard work, give the kids baths, etc.. All things that a father/husband should be doing, but it isn't enough somehow. I want to understand how someone can just switch their feelings off after 13 years, to treat me with such dispassion and disrespect. She told me that even if I could guarantee that these changes are permanent, she still couldn't promise that she could give me what I need. I need my partner back ... it used to be us against the world; she was my lobster and I was hers. What the f*ck happened to that?
I will be seeing a lawyer Monday and start working on getting my name off of the house. This sucks ... I can't stand the thought of seeing her with someone else, it makes me literally sick to my stomach. I don't know if I have the strength to do this.