Self-esteem is an interesting phenomenon. If it were a tangible object it would be a soft metal that can be easily manipulated with varying amounts and types of pressure. But, unlike most metals, its shape can change exponentially and violently with even the slightest environmental change. It can be manipulated in a myriad of ways so that it’s strong and provides a framework for bold action and confidence. But it’s also fragile and can be shattered with a blow to just the right place.

When people talk about things like fragile masculinity they are talking about self-esteem. Self-esteem isn’t an exclusively male condition, it’s a human condition. How self-esteem is generated, gained, lost, and changes vary from person-to-person. Male self-esteem is fragile, there is no doubt about that. Men who are bullied, manipulated, and generally treated like shit (much of the male population) throughout childhood and adolescence will absolutely have fragile self-esteem. It’s hard for men to build self-esteem because of the nature of being men. We’re expected to stand on our own, find our own path, and learn along the way. If we’re lucky, we’ll meet other men along the way who are willing to mentor us and help us find our path. This is the way.

Female self-esteem is a house of cards built on quicksand in the middle of a fault line. Women are sheltered, praised, and put on a pedestal for most of their lives up to, through, and beyond puberty (for a limited time, the wall is always looming just ahead). Women simply don’t have to develop personalities, improve, or stumble through life. They have every advantage. That is until they don’t. The first time you challenge a woman’s perception of herself a sinkhole opens in their fragile souls that they almost never manage to climb out of. How do they react? What’s their solution? They double/triple down on external validation. They post nudes, buy new clothes/accessories, alter their hair and makeup all in a bid to get the positive attention that is the foundation of their entire existence.

Recently, I experienced two very different instances of fragile femininity in unexpected places. One was a Reddit post I commented on and the other was during a chat in a game I play casually. Don’t bother searching my post history for the Reddit thread, I have an alternate account and I intend to keep the identities of both women anonymous.

The Reddit post: I browse a lot of female-centric subreddits so I can keep up with female-oriented current events and subjects of interest. If you want to understand women become a “fly on the wall” in some of those subs. Most of the time they discuss inane bullshit, but once in awhile, you stumble on a gem. A female Redditor (FR) posted the age-old question… Why is it so hard to date as a single mom? I checked out the comments and there were the usual platitudes you’re all familiar with and occasionally people dropped some gentle truths. So, I chimed in and let her know that lots of bachelors (never married, no kids) simply aren’t interested in dating single moms. A single mom with responsibilities and co-parent with limited disposable income simply doesn’t fit my lifestyle. I’m responsible and accountable to myself. I can make long- and short-term plans without having to schedule around parenting obstacles, and my income is 100% my own. I don’t have to account for anyone else’s wants or needs.

And, so it began, over the course of a few days we chatted about her nonexistent platonic/romantic/familial relationships and her social life that is an arid wasteland. She insisted her parenting schedule was easy to work around, she owns her own business, has her own money, home, etc you know the drill. The entire discussion was centered on her trying to tell me that I was wrong. That being a co-parent is not a deterrent to having a social life or to self-actualizing. I continuously disagreed. Eventually, she moved to DMs where she continued to attempt to sell her attributes. She ticked all the Ugg boot, pumpkin spice latte boxes you all know and love, and sent pictures that I didn’t ask for. I was talking to a post-wall, never married, single mom with two kids who was a 5/6 on a good day. So, I gave her a brief rundown of my hobbies, career, and accomplishments. Her response to it all… “you’ve lived in more places than I’ve traveled to.” Correct. That is because I am not anchored to two children and their mother. I have ultimate freedom and I’m not interested in giving that up. She refused to concede. Her fragile feminine ego simply could not compute that a man, any man, would not be interested in wining, dining, and working to bed her. She’s a woman! She loves to laugh, go out, stay in! She is the alpha and omega of desire! But she’s not. She might have been when she was young and child-free, but those days are behind her. The only person who can't see that is her. She can’t understand that there are millions of women open to dating who have never married and have no kids and for a healthy segment of the population that is our dating pool. I think she was simply shocked that men can have and are willing to live up to their own standards. I’ve since cut contact with FR. She was endlessly argumentative and continued to circle around the drain that showcased her lack of social and conversation skills. In short, she was a typical woman who has no clue and refuses to accept that she has nothing to offer a high-quality man.

The casual gamer (CG) was an entirely different experience and another interesting example of fragile femininity. The game I play has a group feature where people can work together to accomplish goals and chat about strategy, etc. The team I am on includes a couple who love to allude to their kinks. CG talks about her exhibitionism often. Her SO is quite proud of it. The group has a chat in a separate app for casual conversation. In a recent game chat, the couple gushed about CG’s augmented tits that her SO proudly paid for. “Pics or it didn’t happen!” as the old internet challenge goes. I didn’t expect a response. Then I opened the separate chat app. She posted a picture, braless, wearing a tank top addressed to me, flipping me off. My response? Got flipped off, saw some tits, you’re welcome guys! I figured that was the end of it. A short while later, another picture was posted. This time she was topless with her hand covering her nipples and holding her massive, and clearly very saggy tits in place. Once again, you’re welcome guys!

I gently challenged her fragile feminine ego and she responded by showing the whole group how confident she is about her body. Of course, she got the normal pedantic compliments women always get. But the fact is, that she had to prove her value to strangers and validate her own self-esteem.

The goal of this post (goal post, ha!) is not to harass or neg women so they will give you attention and/or spend their time trying to justify their existence to you. The goal is to show our young readers that women are an illusion. They are David Copperfields and Criss Angels who spend most of their lives trying to convince people that they have special powers they can use to bend the will of the universe. Women are nothing special. If they put the same effort into becoming interesting, fully realized human beings that they do into creating the illusion that they have it all together they really would have it all together. But that will never be the case because women prefer life on “easy mode” and consistently fail to realize that in time life is going to ramp up to “very hard” when they least expect it.

Stay safe out there guys.