Women do not redeem men. Women do not heal men. This is manosphere cannon. And it is something that we seem to obsess over. Because the culture teaches otherwise. I remember being quite young and having a great time watching Beauty and the Beast.

This is a misunderstanding about cause and effect. Women wait at the finish line and pick winners. Being chosen doesn't make you a winner. You were chosen because you were a winner. And while the obvious kinds of winning involve lots of money and status, psychological strength is also a winner commodity. To have genuine hard won self confidence, to be mature, to have overcome your wounds, these are valuable things. You don't expect to make money chasing women. You shouldn't expect to find healing chasing women.

Chivalry teaches otherwise. Dalrock has a great deal to say on the matter. Chivalry is a perversion of original Christian thought that has supplanted those original ideas. It is the cornerstone of tradcon gynocentrism. The warped priorities and values of Chivalry have done immense harm. So I wasn't surprised to realize that Beauty and the Beast is a work of chivalry. I mean its set in France in the time period. How did I not see this sooner?

Beauty heals Beast with her love, lifting his curse, and bringing him back from the dead to boot. It is said that in Africa, there is a superstition that men with HIV will be cured if they have sex with a virgin. A similar genitalia related power story is the genre of erotica where men with big dicks fuck unpleasant disagreeable women into eager submissive partners. I think between them all, the French bards and Walt Disney capture the idea more elegantly.

Knowing this I hoped that I had the right tool to fight off the feeling of need. I felt that I needed a woman's love, true love, because Chivalry had taught me to need it. I had been lied to by culture and society. They had tricked me and led me into chasing something that wasn't real because it satisfied their own ends. It was a great betrayal, carefully orchestrated by those seeking power over me.

No.

There is an underlying human psychology that was not forged in French courts where men with bells on were trying to make a queen happy. It was not invented by rebellious Christians. It is a much older beast.

When humans are wounded they will seek any kind of pleasure to fill the void. That's why so many miserable people are so fat. They eat to feel better. But no amount of food will ease their suffering.

Eating the double glazed doughnut will not erase the fact that daddy never loved you. Neither will getting your dick sucked or your pussy pounded. The impulse for each of those things come from the same place; great pain. This is true for both genders, although this path has different results for men and women. Rod Boothroyd says:

At its heart this is all about the experience of sensuality, the desire to experience the next amazing high at the expense of anything in the longer term.

This is not the mania of the grandiosity and sense of unlimited power of the inflated Sovereign. The inflated Lover is much more about something that was lost or something that never was, and the resulting need, narcissism, and confusion.

The root of that narcissism is a search for anything that will ease the pain of the unfelt and unexpressed grief that eats away at a man's soul. The paradox here is that grieving, allowing the tears to fall, is not painful; quite the opposite - it is relieving. In fact as far as I'm aware there is no other way to deal with the pain of unexpressed grief than to allow the tears to fall. The impact of doing so is remarkable, for tears almost always open the way to joy.

Yet people avoid shedding their tears because they think the process will be painful beyond measure, that they will fall into an ocean of grief and drown. So the addictive cycle continues: anything which offers apparent relief, no matter how temporary, is seized upon, only to be inevitably followed by an even clearer and perhaps even heightened experience of grief. That in turn requires some form of consolation, or relief and so the cycle continues.

The inflated Lover appears to be seeking a resolution of his addiction to sensuality by searching continuously, as Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette put it, for "the ultimate and continuous high." This is why "he rides from village to village, from adventure to adventure, and from one woman to another." Yet each time he's confronted with mortality, weakness and limitations; then his dream is shattered, and so once again "he saddles his horse and rides out looking for a renewal of his ecstasy."

This is my testimonial. It did not help me to intellectually reject the healing power of "love." I still felt like I was missing out on this redeeming thing women had but were refusing to give me. And when it was offered, they weren't doing it right.

Whereas lately, as I struggle to put my demons to rest. I begin to taste the sweet balm of not needing to be redeemed. I don't desperately need healing from somewhere, anywhere. And the state of the sexual marketplace is much less interesting to me. The difference in thought pattern is astonishing.

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(One addendum: Beauty and the Beast doesn't do women any favors if they believe it either. "You can heal the bad boy with the power of your pu... I mean your love. And then he will become an upright gentleman." is not something that you tell a woman that you are genuinely trying to help.

And the same goes for men.)