I am not sure when I first heard of this work, but it had just come out when I first heard it referenced in about 2016. Not long after, I downloaded the PDF. I just stumbled on it again today in my files, and in skimming through it, this excerpt from page 35 caught my attention:
Civilization has been defined as the partial victory of age over youth. After several decades of married life, a woman looks back and finds it inconceivable that she once considered a man’s facial features an important factor in mate selection. She tries to talk some sense into her granddaughter before it is too late. “Don’t worry about what he looks like; don’t worry about how he makes you feel; that isn’t important.” If the girl had a not especially glamorous but otherwise unexceptionable suitor... she might take the young man’s part: “If you don’t catch this fellow while you can, some smarter girl will.” So it went, generation after generation. This created a healthy sense of competition for decent, as opposed to merely sexually attractive, men. Husbands often never suspected the grandmother effect, living out their lives in the comforting delusion that their wives married them solely from recognition of their outstanding merits. But today grandma has been replaced by Cosmopolitan, we are living with the results
Then later, he concludes:"
Marriage, like most useful things, was probably invented by men: Partly to keep the social peace, partly so they could be certain their wives’ children were also their own. The consequences of marriage must have appeared soon after its institution: the efforts previously spent fighting over mates were replaced by strenuous exertions to provide for, rear, and defend offspring. No doubt surrounding tribes wondered why one of their neighbors had recently grown so much stronger. When they learned the reason, imitation must have seemed a matter of survival. It was, and it still is. If the Occident does not restore marriage, we will be overwhelmed by those who continue to practice it.
So we have these two seemingly contradictory statements:
- Grandmothers understood the value of marriage and imparted this wisdom on their granddaughters.
- Men invented marriage for the reasons stated.
But both can be true. Perhaps it was an interplay or a detente between ancient men and women. It is most likely that men and women collectively negotiated marriage as an imperfect solution to many serious problems. A solution that required discipline and sacrifice on both parties, but also provided benefits in the long run for ALL concerned: the elderly, children, families, tribes, nations, neighbors and the men and women who stuck with it.
We all know what happened and how it happened. But this work by Devlin is worth a read. Just search for the PDF and you will easily find it.
[–]AldabruzzoMod[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]loneliness-incMod12 points13 points14 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]DeeplyDisturbed1Mod[S] 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]loneliness-incMod2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]loneliness-incMod1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]moorekomMod12 points13 points14 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]DeeplyDisturbed1Mod[S] 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Original_Username74 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AldabruzzoMod6 points7 points8 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]DeeplyDisturbed1Mod[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]AldabruzzoMod5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]DeeplyDisturbed1Mod[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AldabruzzoMod5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]DeeplyDisturbed1Mod[S] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]AldabruzzoMod2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]silly_birb3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Notamayata6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]beenthere7893 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link