We are often told that a woman "growing up" and "maturing" means that her preferences in men have changed. We're told that her focus on marriageable men in her late 20s and early 30s means she has changed her preferences from immature, good looking, and fun but irresponsible men who aren't marriage material, to these marriageable men. The clear implication is that these women's growing up and newfound maturity has caused them to become sexually attracted to these marriageable (read: less attractive) men they spent the previous several years passing up and rejecting.
This isn't true. There's a difference between "maturing" and "changing one's preferences". "Maturing" means one's priorities have changed. It does not mean one's preferences have changed.
"Growing up" just means the woman has learned to become more genteel, polite, kind, and socially acceptable about rejecting men she's not sexually attracted to. She's learned to reject men without nuking them. Women also learn how to lie better and more effectively. They learn to conceal their personality flaws. They don't change their preferences to become attracted to men they weren't attracted to before. "Growing up" does not mean that something internally has happened to her that caused her to become sexually attracted to men she wasn't sexually attracted to before.
Women who have matured and grown up show a shift in focus. Growing up means she now has to get serious about her life. She has to decide, now, whether she's going to marry and have kids, or forego one or both. Perhaps she should have made that decision sooner, but she's making it now, which adds to her desperation.
That, in turn, means shifting focus from hot men to marriageable men; from "fun" men to "serious" men; from "men you date" to "men you marry". It means shifting focus from alpha fucks to beta bucks. It means shifting focus from preferences to priorities.
None of this means "I got older, therefore, I'm sexually attracted to men I was not sexually attracted to when I was younger". Nor does this mean "I got older, therefore, I now find men I wasn't attracted to, more attractive". It just means "I got older, therefore, I'm willing to accept men I never really was all that attracted to and still am not all that attracted to. I am willing to accept men who I wouldn't have dated before when my focus was on fun and spontaneity and adventure."
"Growing up" and "maturing" does NOT mean "I am now sexually attracted to men I was not sexually attracted to before". Her priorities changed to less attractive, but marriageable, men. She still prefers the more attractive men she cannot marry or is choosing not to marry.
The fact that they're looking downmarket to the less attractive previously ignored guys does not mean that something's changed in these women, or that they "outgrew" their attraction to the bad boys. It just means their priorities and circumstances changed. It just means they're willing to accept a less attractive man because they've finally figured out that's the only way they're going to get the commitment they crave.
EDIT: Mod queue has some people giving mods crap about their bans. Listen. You do NOT have a right to post or comment here. Posting and commenting and participating here are privileges, not rights. This is NOT a government owned subreddit, the First Amendment does NOT apply to this space, and you do NOT have the right to say anything you want here. You especially do not have the right to abuse posters or commenters.
EDIT 2: Do not come here and tell me that "men do this too". That may very well be true. I don't care. We do not concern ourselves with how to date men, how to fuck men, or how to navigate what men do or don't do. If men do this too, that's women's problem. Let women figure out what to do about men doing this too.
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