A home

A home is your house and is comprised of the tangible physical structure and the intangible feeling of “home”. This intangible feeling of home has many similarities with the physical structure of the home. Let's dig in.

Below the ground is the foundation upon which everything stands. The foundation must be strong and solid, it must not change no matter what the weather is outside and no matter what's going on inside. The foundation is always there with solid consistency. The foundation is invisible.

The beams, walls and roof etc that make up the physical structure of the home are somewhat more visible than the foundation. They also have some degree of change, at least on their exterior. However, their core must remain unseen and unchanging no matter what.

Then comes all the chachkes inside the home. The furniture and and appliances, the cabinets and light fixtures etc etc etc. These are on full display and are one of the main differentiations between a drab dump and a fancy mansion. The dump can be as structurally sound as the mansion (albeit much smaller), but the bells and whistles are where the real differentiation is felt. The very bells and whistles that are the most external and functionally unimportant part of the home. The bells and whistles that are periodically replaced for new bells and whistles.

Home heating

As important as the abovementioned hierarchy of importance is important in terms of structural integrity and outer beauty, it's all dark and cold without the element of fire for warmth, lighting and cooking.

As much as the foundation, beams, walls and roof need to be solid, stable, unmoving and unchanging - fire needs to be the exact opposite. Constantly flickering, needs constant feeding of fuel, constantly adjusting and requires constant monitoring. An uncontained fire stands to burn down your entire house and all that's within it.

In other words - first comes the structure and only then can fire be useful to heat, illuminate and cook food within that structure. Furthermore, only when the fire itself is structured is it beneficial. Otherwise it's highly destructive.

Family

Building a family used to be referred to as building a home. Indeed, there are many similarities to the home structure described above.

Men bring structure to the table. The solid foundation upon which everything stands, the consistency through thick and thin, the strength to shoulder everything and the discipline and orderliness required to keep it all going. When entering a home, most people don't appreciate any of this. Likewise, most people don't appreciate the things that men bring to the family, the home.

Women bring the fire, the emotions, the passions, the desires, the demands, the jealousy, the whining, the anxiety etc etc etc. The whole roller coaster of highs and lows, twists and turns, calms and loops. Etc.

When a woman's emotional roller coaster is structured, contained and properly channeled, it becomes a wonderful force for good. However, this is almost impossible to achieve today because “structure” - aka male authority - is considered to be abusive and strictly forbidden by law, society and culture. The wild, uncontained dumpster fires can be seen everywhere and parts of them are featured here every day.

Needs and wants

Likewise, there are things which are foundational needs within a relationship. They may not be foundational to the survival of the individual like air and food, but they are the equivalent of the foundation to the life of the relationship. Other things are akin to the walls and beams. Other things are nice exterior decorations and yet other things bring warmth to the whole relationship.

For a man, being respected, admired and sexually desired are 3 of the foundational elements of his relationship with a woman. Without these 3, the whole thing will crumble sooner or later. Coming back to the abovementioned structure/fire analogy - a man needs 1. The respect as the head of the household. 2. Admiration for his past accomplishments and for his future potential. 3. The passionate heat of sexual desire. This is how a woman brings life to a marriage the way fire heats, illuminates and cooks food for a home and it's inhabitants.

When a woman is disrespectful towards her man, he isn't her leader. When she criticizes or belittles him, she displays a lack of belief in his capabilities. When she isn't “in the mood” for sex, her fire has gone cold. When she makes his life a living hell, the wild dumpster fire has begun! The encouragement of society serves as kerosene on this out of control dumpster fire.

Women want security. Emotional security, financial security and security from scary spiders. Men are biologically driven to provide this security happily! We're built to bring structure to the relationship! However, when the female fire is uncontained, the whole damn thing burns to the ground. This is what happened on a societal level as well as within millions of homes both divorced and still miserably married.

The big question

In light of all the above, the big question is fairly simple to answer. Women want to know - where are all the good men? Where are all the stable men? Where are all the responsible men? Where are all the chivalrous men? Where are all the men who will treat me like a lady? Where oh where have they gone?!?!?!?!?!

The answer - you torched all the good men, you incinerated them and now they're ashes. Your nagging was like a sledgehammer, wracking at the walls. Your criticizing drilled holes in the foundation. Your tantrums set the whole thing ablaze and your starfish sex poured cold water on the remaining embers within the ashes.

You removed male authority and replaced it with female empowerment. You rewarded bad asshole behavior with hot monkey sex while shaming good responsible behavior with the friendzone and shaming language. You torched men on a societal level through alimony, child custody and support, false rape accusations and diversity hires. You ensured that men could not rebuild the home after you finished with its destruction. Men gave you privileges because they loved you, you turned around and made life worse and worse for men with each passing year, decade and generation of feminism.

You were banking on the infinite male sex drive. You thought that men will always come crawling back no matter how outlandish your demands. You manipulated the collective male love for you to exploit men and burn the whole structure to the ground. You wanna know where all the good men went?

They went away from your toxic dumpster fire!

Conclusion

A structure must be solid and strong, only then is there room and use for the warmth of emotions. Even then, emotions must be structured.

Male authority brings structure, safety and security to the structure called marriage and family. (Consistency is a tool of the patriarchy!) Women bring the fire of turbulent emotions which must be contained and structured by the man in order to be useful and constructive. Today, male authority has been removed, resulting in one massive toxic dumpster fire!

Cheers!