Hello everyone! It's Aldabruzzo time! Today, kids, we're going to revisit Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., Devout Christian. You first read about her here talking about how tough it is for women in their 50s to date. You then read about her again when she wrote about her fucking "dating" her 30 years younger boyfriend in direct contravention of her stated faith. Cuz being a cougar is AWESUM!!

But, hold the phone. They broke up. Guess it's not so awesum after all.

She dumped her boyfriend for "getting his feelings hurt".

TLDR: Dr. McAvoy was shtupping a man 30 years her junior. In response to her "Being a Cougar is AWESUM" post, a guy posted that she was probably a locker room joke punchline in her boyfriend's eyes. Or something. That made the Good Doctor (Devout Christian) very insecure. She doesn't see him more than once a week. What's he doing when he's not with me? Is he really laughing about fucking dating me?

She goes to her fuckbuddy boyfriend to express her insecurity. He gets all hurt: "It hurts me that you think I'd" joke about our relationship. She feels all bad about it - not because he'd told her he wasn't doing that; but because his feelings were hurt. The rest of the article is her raking him over the coals for being a pussy because she hurt his fee fees, because she should be allowed to feel insecure and have him reassure her, and because his feelings getting hurt is "defensiveness" and "lying". Dr. McAvoy, Devout Christian, demanded that her fuckbuddy boyfriend make her feel better, by... accusing him of something he didn't do and then denying that he did the thing he didn't do. She lambastes him for being 'unconfident' and 'immature' and emotionally juvenile. She wants someone who "lets me be me all the time".

Well. here's what I hope you take away from this.

1) You can't turn a fuckbuddy into a husband. This happened because Dr. McAvoy expected a fuckbuddy to act like a boyfriend/husband. And that's unreasonable.

Women: Fuckbuddies are not going to give you emotional support or relational maturity. You don't get to demand commitment from FwBs. You are not entitled to certain standards of conduct from fuckbuddies. That's not what fuckbuddies and FwBs are for. Fuckbuddies and FwBs are there for occasional sex, fun, and companionship, at your and their mutual convenience. The only things you get to expect from fuckbuddies and FwBs is some fun times and some deep dicking. That's it.

Guys: If you're a fuckbuddy or FwB, do not act like a boyfriend or husband. Don't give her these things. She doesn't get emotional support, relationship, commitment, or resources. Don't try to "work it out" or "talk it out" or "fix things". You are not there to help her feel better or support her or commit anything to her. You're there to fuck her and do fun stuff with her. That's it. She doesn't get to demand anything from you, and you don't owe her anything. Period. End of discussion.

2) Of course he's emotionally immature. He's 30 years younger than you are. What the fuck did you expect?

He is not relationship material or someone for a 50 something widow/divorcee to fall in love with or have something lasting. He was not even a "boyfriend". He was your fuckbuddy. He was your friend with benefits. Maybe you, Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., devout Christian, don't want to say that. But I will. Because THAT IS WHAT HE WAS.

3) I was originally right about this from the very beginning. Men cannot disclose negative emotions to women. You do not get to express negative emotions to a woman you're fucking. You don't get to express pain, injury, frustration, despair, or depression. If you do, you're worthless and weak, or you're just a manipulative immature asshole who's making it all about you.

4) Dr. McAvoy's relationship with him was all about her, and her wants, needs, and desires, and not at all about his wants, needs and desires. It just never occurs to women that men want, need and desire things too from their relationships. I would have expected that a relationship professional and a psychologist like Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, Devout Christian, of all people, would understand this. But oh no, women are women - even women with education, training, experience and expertise in the mental health healing arts.

5) Dr. McAvoy gets all pissed off that he got his feelings hurt. Yeah, let me explain something to you - something that I would think a "relationship professional" with a terminal degree in psychology would understand. Ready? Read this carefully, Doctor.

This happened because you accused him of something he didn't do. This happened because you just HAD to vomitpuke your feelings and insecurities all over him for something that he did not do, that he TOLD YOU he did not do, and had nothing to do with him. This has to do with YOU and YOUR issues, not him. His feelings got hurt because YOU HURT THEM.

And this also happened because you just had to blab about your FwB "relationship" on the internet, under your real name, on a widely read forum where people can comment.

Maybe next time, keep details about your relationship private. Don't write about it. Keep it private, like most men and women used to before we vivisected ourselves and divulged the most intimate details of our lives all over social media to people we don't really like and who don't really care about us.

And, Dr. McAvoy, he didn't owe you anything. He didn't owe you any explanations. He didn't owe you more time. He didn't owe you an accounting of where he was or what he did when he was not with you. He didn't owe you any explanations of what he said about you to others. Your insecurities about your relationship with him are on YOU and it was pretty shitty for you to vomitpuke them on him.

If anyone was being manipulative here, it's Dr. McAvoy. Note what she says:

That unkind comment on my article had shaken me by pointing out an unpleasant possibility that could be occurring in this relationship. When I chose to share it with this guy, I hoped he had the strength to hear my insecurity and to reassure me. It was an opening to grow our trust in one another. Unfortunately, he took it as an attack on his integrity.

Translate that:

I expected my fuckbuddy to read my mind and give me what I wanted. I expected him to just know what I needed and give it to me. I was saying to him "some other guy i don't know hurt my fee fees, and it's on you to make me feel better. And if you can't just figure this out, then you're a horrible immature little man-boy who won't grow up."

That right there is straight up classic female manipulation. It's shitty, it's bullshit, it's injurious, and you men need to recognize it when it's being fired at you.

Notice how women look at this: HE has to "be strong and reassure her", but it is NEVER EVER on her to give him anything, ever, even if he needs something from her.

6) The woman in a relationship can do, be, and say anything she wants; but the man cannot be himself at any time, ever. She said that - "I want to meet, date, and fall in love with an emotional grown-up — someone who lets me be me all the time. " That goes both ways - then you have to let him be him all the time. It's unrealistic - people are not "themselves" all the time in relationships. If they were, no one would ever stay together long enough even to fuck, much less reproduce.

7) Notice that no apology to him is forthcoming for her hurting him and for accusing him of something he did not do.

8) This is a classic shit test, and here's how you pass it.

If he says what he said, which is "it hurts that you think I'd do something like that", he's manipulating her and turning the tables on her.

If he laughs it off, he's not taking her seriously.

If he denies that he would say or think something like that, he's lying and trying to brush off her concerns as not worth discussing.

If he says nothing, he's an insensitive, immature, emotionally unavailable jerk.

So the best response: Either laugh it off, or say nothing. It's better to let a woman think that you aren't really taking things seriously or that you're an asshole. Because, as you can see, she'll forgive you being an asshole; but she'll never forgive you for being a pussy.

9) AWALT. If ever there was a woman who proves AWALT beyond a reasonable doubt, it's Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., Devout Christian. Experienced psychologist, relationship expert? Doesn't matter. She's still a woman, spewing her insecurities onto her sex partners, blaming men for her problems, writing about them for validation on the internet, and demanding that everyone else around her get better while she is just fine the way she is.

No, Dr. McAvoy, you do not get to "be me all the time", not unless you're willing to allow your man to "be himself all the time". See, Dr. Devout Christian, that's called "compromise". That's called "give something to get something." That's called "relationship", the root word of which is "relate". That's called "relating" to another human being. These are things I would think that you of all people would understand - you, with a terminal degree in psychology and holding yourself out as a "relationship professional".

The only person being immature here, Dr. McAvoy, is you - stomping around demanding that you get to be you all the time, while lambasting men for being themselves. Projecting the shitty abusive behavior of your ex husband onto an innocent man who by all your accounts has been unfailingly good to you. Taking on a fuckbuddy boyfriend 30 years your junior and complaining that he's not up to your maturity standards. (But let's be honest, doctor - based on the last article I profiled, you werent measuring up his character and maturity all that much, were you? No, you had other places you were measuring and assessing him, and we all know what they were.) Splaying your "relationship" and your fornication all over the internet while holding yourself out as "devout Christian relationship professional", and then complaining that, like 98% of relationships, it doesn't work out.

Grow up.

Stay tuned. I am sure Dr. McAvoy will give us more Red Pill goodness as time goes on.