"[My daughter] has gone from one bad relationship to another...now in lonely lockdown she feels ever more abandoned and is wondering what is wrong with her or what she is doing wrong." And her female peers advice? "It’s not her dating choices she needs to look at"

DeeplyDisturbed1 · 2021-01-14T17:12:56+00:00

Some noteworthy quotes. First there's this gem:

She needs to find resilience, not just bury herself in her work

In other words: Forget the reason she is going to College, you know, to focus on her work. The real goal is to keep fucking around to learn to easily give away sex, treat your body like community property, and build immunity to pair bonding.

Then there's this nugget of brilliance:

It’s not her dating choices she needs to look at but her need for approbation that’s making self-esteem something external to be validated by others, rather than something she owns inside.

So Your worries (Mom), and your daughter's suffering, and the very of The Wall, and all the age old wisdom of treating sexuality with great care is flat out wrong. Listen to ME! Date all you want. bang all you want, the issue is not your feelings or hers or the millions of other young women struggling with this - it is all about ME and my feminist beliefs. Also self-esteem has nothing to do with acceptance, warmth, relationships, bonding, and all that other disgusting wholewome human stuff - it is about narcissistic self-acceptance. Trust me, I am Mariella Frostrup!

And then this glimmer of hope!

It’s important to recognise that she’s not being “dumped” or “cast aside” as you describe. Those are unhelpful pejorative terms that disempower her and relegate her to a passive place in her own love life. Learning to take responsibility is the first step to taking charge of our emotions, rather than being ruled by them.

Aaaaaand then back to hell with this cute quip:

Remember there’s no such thing as a bad affair as long as you learn from it and carry that wisdom into the next.

In other words, affairs are totally fine. As long as you learn from it before moving onto the next affair.

I wonder if the women who write this shit ever go back and say.

Look. I am sorry. I gave you advice that was really wrong. Please forgive me. Women should respect themselves, their bodies, and their sexuality. They are all very important - important enough to slow down and take your time with.

Yeah. I am still waiting on THAT article.

Mundane_Worldliness7 · 2021-01-10T17:44:57+00:00

She should tell her daughter : “There are costs to pursuing men for long term relationships whom aren’t in fact interested in long term relationships, unhappiness in such cases is a matter of destiny.” She should also ask “What was it about these men that you actually liked? Did they have good qualities besides their physical appearances or is it the case that you wanted them in part because most of the other girls you knew wanted them as well? Were you honestly surprised by their allegedly poor behavior or did you have forewarning of such behavior which you disregarded as their being “devious” or “fun” or “real”?

silly_birb · 2021-01-10T17:41:50+00:00

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loneliness-inc · 2021-01-10T17:56:53+00:00

Boo-fucking-hoo

Let's imagine that the modern 18 year old, empowered, entitled, university girl has a lot of value to offer to a man (she doesn't, but let's assume that she does). Here's what she can do to play her cards to her long term advantage.

Remain a virgin until her wedding night - any high value man with options, who can choose between two women who offer equal value in a relationship, will always choose a virgin over a non virgin.
Accept that this will disqualify her to many men and disqualify many men to her - choices have consequences and if you wish to sort for the highest quality man, you'll have to stick to your guns as you turn away many men and get turned away by many men.
Be completely unavailable to any man that isn't her husband - unavailable in every way. Friendship, flirting or anything else. This is self explanatory.
Be 100% available to her husband - sexually and otherwise.
Bring relationship value to the marriage - the value that he wants. Keep his stomach full, his balls empty and his ego fed.

A woman who does this, can easily find and keep a good man as a husband. However, doing these things aren't necessarily easy. More importantly, they conflict with her ideals of being and empowered, stryng indypyndynt wymyns. That's why almost no woman like this exist outside of certain religious communities who remain patriarchal.

butt_uglee · 2021-01-10T17:52:32+00:00

She needs to vet her potential boyfriends better. It seems that once they get what they want she’s just another notch on the bedpost.

If she wants a LTR she’s still young enough at 19-20 to try to command it from a decent man.... like an engineering student or pre med or pre law... the guys that usually get no female attention....

dorballom09 · 2021-01-10T17:43:38+00:00

since she was 17, has gone from one bad relationship to another, making her feel depressed and worthless, and impacting on her work. It’s a recurring cycle. She becomes deeply committed to a relationship only to be slowly cast aside or dumped, further denting her already low self-esteem.

Swinging bed to bed with the frequency of a cheap ham radio is no way to live.

Neldot · 2021-01-10T18:31:25+00:00

If you go browsing youtube channels or magazines focalized on giving romantic advice, you'll soon realize that they have one thing in common, the advice is often naive and unrealistic and it seems that they don't even know what they're talking about, especially if the advice is about men and what they value in women.

A lot of young women are victims of their own hypergamy mixed with bad advice given to them, and they could perhaps be saved from becoming a clueless entitled spinster if someone teached them early how to control their sexual impulses and how SMV and RMV are very different concepts that go somewhat in different directions.

JohnDoe721 · 2021-01-10T19:06:39+00:00

Why won't chad commit to me?

fatherteddy777 · 2021-01-10T17:41:50+00:00

That teen need counseling, not rambling of mothers and cheap advice column writers.

sleepyweaselisawake · 2021-01-10T19:49:57+00:00

"It’s important to recognise that she’s not being “dumped” or “cast aside” as you describe. Those are unhelpful pejorative terms that disempower her and relegate her to a passive place in her own love life. Learning to take responsibility is the first step to taking charge of our emotions, rather than being ruled by them. It took me a couple of decades to understand that I was entirely complicit in who I chose to date and the way in which those relationships panned out, even if I constantly felt like the victim. We may not be aware of it at the time, but we are continually making choices that have a butterfly effect in our lives and our experience of others."

Way down at the bottom of the article she gives the only advice women need. But, since it's below the ads no one will ever see it.

BluepillProfessor · 2021-01-10T23:28:19+00:00

Ever hear of helicopter moms?

I made up the term stuka or dive bomber moms after my wife.

This is CC mom.

Birthday088 · 2021-01-10T21:17:10+00:00

We always hear about How the Alpha Chad gets a girl easily and for free and we know how she treats a beta bucks but has there ever been an analysis on how she treats apha chad compared to the beta

vtec__ · 2021-01-10T22:32:27+00:00

boomer and gen X mothers ignore this behavior at best and at worst, encourage it.

Old_snowboarder · 2021-01-10T20:06:17+00:00

Just another example of not pointing the finger of blame where it should be pointed. We see it all the time. Nobody is prepared to say 'you fucked it up' and nobody will ever admit 'I fucked it up'. Always someone else's fault. People are acting like fucking children and this shitshow will continue until what's left of society flushes down the toilet. And you know what makes me really fucking angry - it didn't have to be this way.

mr_kuk · 2021-01-11T08:53:47+00:00

The dilemma I have a daughter at university who, since she was 17, has always done whatever she felt like all the time and all that does for her is make her feel depressed and worthless, and it's impacting on her work. It’s a recurring cycle. She does exactly what she feels when she feels like such as sleeping with random guys only to be slowly cast aside or dumped, further denting her already low self-esteem. When she is on form (and single) she is fun-loving and outgoing, basically a Thot, always kind to hawt guys giving them raw animal sex. She is smart and attractive. I am not clear what is going wrong or how to advise her. Teaching her self-control is out of the question because that is patriarchy!

Her last boyfriend spent several months chasing her; eventually she agreed but, after a few happy months, he slowly “reeled her out”, saying that he could not commit to a slut. Now in lonely lockdown she feels ever more abandoned and is wondering what is wrong with her or what she is doing wrong, after all, she is doing exactly what she feels when she feels like it. On our long phone conversations I advise her to focus on her degree and get immersed in the work as a cure and never EVER sit down and think about how she is living her life, that is patriarchy. I reassure her that things will work out in the end and that these things are normal and nothing to do with her personally or her choices, she can't be held responsible for her choices. I am worried that this will affect her degree. I know life is a learning process, but I would like her to learn some strategies other than self-control or introspection, two well known tools of the patriarchy.

Please make this about how wonderful my daughter is and how men are bad and wrong!

Thotiella replies Who’d be a mother? Being a mother is an obstacle in the chase for the hawt guys. Kids are boring! Seriously, I totally empathise with your concerns, but perhaps you’ve lost sight of your own youthful romantic excursions? Maybe you sailed through platonic dating adventures and bumped into Mr Rights way too many times where you got a free meal long before you’d wasted too many nights on a bevy of Mr Wrongs who pumped and dumped the crap out of you?

Most of us aren’t that lucky to get pumped and dumped by hawt guys and university, or whatever we find ourselves doing at that age, tends to become a background for the turmoil of our vulnerable hearts when we slut it up to the max. Yes, life is basically a backdrop to chasing Chads, the true meaning of life! Your girl is going through the perfectly normal romantic pangs of an insecure young woman who is a slut. It’s not her slutty dating choices she needs to look at but her need for approbation that’s making self-esteem something external to be validated by Chads, rather than something she owns inside such as being an oppressed prude. She is looking for security in fuckboys who are barely past puberty and scaring them off with her neediness, she must offer them hot sex to make them commit. get that through your slut daughter's thick head. I feel confident with my diagnosis, because I was that Thot and spent until my 30s chasing Chads and fuckbois who were prime candidates for confirming my low self-worth. Being a slut is the right way to go. I did all the right things being a slut, it was the men who were wrong.

Naturally we’d rather your girl was finding her feet than losing her heart, so building up her confidence is the priority here. You’re already doing the right thing by advising her to ignore the main issue and focus elsewhere, but she needs to find further sluttiness, not just bury herself in academia.

A few months is a lifetime when you are in your teens and early 20s and I suspect the love affairs of her slutty friends are equally transient. How she’s coping is the issue.

I wonder if a course in mindfulness, easily available online or on campus, might help? There’s a lot to be said for standing back and gaining a better perspective on your choices and that’s not something that comes easily in youth. It might help her to put her romantic troubles in context and open her eyes to the bigger picture. She needs to be sluttier!

It’s important to recognise that she’s not being “dumped” or “cast aside” as you describe. Those are unhelpful pejorative terms that disempower her and relegate her to a passive place in her own love life. Learning to take responsibility is the first step to taking charge of our emotions, rather than being ruled by them, unless we meed a hawt Chad, then the word responsibility loses all meaning. It took me a couple of decades to understand that I was entirely complicit in who I chose to date and the way in which those relationships panned out, even if I constantly felt like the victim, because I was the victim and the men were wrong. We may not be aware of it at the time, but men are continually making bad choices that have a butterfly effect in our lives and our experience of others.

You can’t solve your girl’s problems, only try to soften and mitigate them, but never ever questions her feelz. You never stop wanting to control your kids, but there comes a time when your efforts to fine tune their personalities are redundant. Yes, your daughter is a child, but you must allow her to slut it up to her heart's content. Then, uncomfortably, you are forced to take a back seat and not live vicariously live through your daughter. These are difficult days for the young, with Covid lockdowns curtailing dating sluttiness and random hookups, so it’s a good time to sit back and take stock of how much she's been stocked.

Chasing down fuckbois for life, as you’ve observed and one hopes your daughter is fast learning, only pushes them further away. But don't worry, women have a secret weapon called the hamster that helps them continue on the path of sluttiness against all reason and rationality. At college there’s little else to do but slut it up and then wallow in the drama of losing fuckbois that you actually never had, they only pump and dump you. Never again will we have so much time to gorge on our emotions and digest every iota of perceived insult and humiliation, and there are oh so many. Thank goodness for that because it’s a myopic energy-sapping pursuit that can’t be sustained out in the big wide world, but that won't stop us. Encourage your daughter to take up a hobby that helps her better manage her day-to-day emotions, such as feminism, and to start the new year with a course in intersectional mindfulness.

Remember there’s no such thing as a bad pump and dump as long as you learn from it and carry that wisdom into the next where you know that you have be even more sluttier to get the fuckboi to commit, it will, nay, must work! Finding ourselves alone time after time is not the issue – it’s the lessons learned along the way that are of value. Men are wrong, your daughter is right.

Alturius · 2021-01-11T11:13:34+00:00

The article had this closing WTF comment " Remember there’s no such thing as a bad affair as long as you learn from it and carry that wisdom into the next. "

Tell that to a young woman who has just been hospitalised, raped or murdered by a violent, self-serving chad that she chose to date.

happychickenpalace · 2021-01-11T12:12:02+00:00

Blame everyone and everything else.

After lockdown she's gonna then find something else to blame about: hey what about patriarchy? That always works!

Aldabruzzo · 2021-01-11T17:52:54+00:00

Sure is a lot of words to say

"Relationships are fucking. Getting pumped and dumped at college is normal. Let your daughter fall and fail on her own."

yomo86 · 2021-01-11T08:57:42+00:00

Quote: Ay Ton, when I got thrown out of 50 strip clubs, I should ask myself, maybe it's me.

yomo86 · 2021-01-11T10:18:37+00:00

Going from a bad rel to another at 17. Imagine 20 years ago the girls just started to slut it up at 18. This prime example had more dick than fries.

2021-01-11T16:44:19+00:00

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Lugidori · 2021-01-12T15:07:43+00:00

Yeap civilization is collapsing