Happy weekend men,

This post got me thinking about something I have written about before.

Jealousy

There are two sides to this phenomenon that I would like to share with you.

Her: "I don't like jealous/insecure men"

When a woman mentions anything about jealousy it can be a HUGE red flag. Women who experience jealousy in multiple relationships tend to have loose boundaries - or they outright cheat.

Why would a man be jealous if his woman were being completely above board? Why would a man be jealous if she were not keeping orbiters around in the background? If a woman does not lie, cheat, party, flirt, or work in a male-dominated field, then why would her man be jealous?

You: "I feel jealous"

Conversely, any man who would be jealous of a good woman is a damaged man, and he is not ready for a serious relationship. Likewise, if you see the word "jealous" (or any derivatives) anywhere in her profile, walk away. The same holds true for similar dog whistle words like "insecure" or "Controlling".

You should see these as warnings, not complaints.

Conclusion

I have a simple but effective rule in my own life. I have rarely felt jealousy, and when I did, it was for good reason.

So these days, if I feel anything that even approaches jealousy, I know that I must end that relationship, because either:

A) I have no reason to feel that way, which means that I am not emotionally equipped to handle a relationship. Why torture someone with my jealous feelings? That would be cruel and unfair; or

B) I have good reason to feel that way, which means my woman does not respect me, or the relationship. Why would I stay in an unhealthy relationship in which my woman has no clue how to maintain healthy appropriate boundaries?

Controlling is not something a man should be or do. It is a sign of weakness or fear in my view. On the other hand, I have felt insecure in relationships before - NOT insecure in myself, but about her and us together. I have also felt jealousy, and it is one of the most horrible feelings a person can feel. Again, it was either her or me, or both, so that relationship ended disastrously.

So if you ever feel jealous, it is a signal that the end is near - no matter the cause. it is the easiest canary-in-a-coalmine indicator of trouble on the planet. It is up to you to have the courage to leave immediately if you feel it.

Better yet, let your woman know up front, so she knows who she is dealing with.