Coming out | What the Hell Were You Thinking?

[deleted]
April 23, 2014
19 upvotes

As a good starting point and a way of differentiating the discussion here on AltTRP, I’d like to talk about the subject of coming out. Coming out is often the first major step many of us take into acting on our sexuality. At some point or another in our development we come to the realization that we are in fact not straight and we are confronted with the notion of others learning this about us too. It can be terrifying and many people struggle greatly with the issue of being open about their sexuality.

It was not that long ago that remaining closeted was the norm even with friends and family. Within the last hundred years it was possible to be arrested for making public knowledge of one’s orientation. Any utterance of affection for other men was a brash thing indeed. Today in the western world things have calmed down considerably, but there is still no promise of acceptance. Religion and social stigma still compel people to reject homosexuality.

Still, underlying the raging voices of Westboro Baptist and countless fathers’ disapproving remarks, there is a steady undercurrent of those telling us we should be proud of who we are and that we should sing the truth from the hill tops. “Come out. If they’re really your friends they’ll stand by you. If they don’t, they were never really your friends”. Sure it is still a struggle, but it is a noble struggle. To heck with it all, be who you are and come out loud and proud. Post it on FaceBook.

The trend of indiscriminately outing yourself has to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. I certainly know where the impulse comes from. Its hard keeping something so big about yourself from people. You’d like to be able to tell others about that part of your life, or at the very least you’d enjoy not having to hide it. And its hard keeping track of who knows what, isn’t it?. Certainly we’ve been told enough that its bad to hide it that we feel compelled to let the truth flow like a fountain.

But stop to think for a minute about who benefits from this information being shared. Is it you? Do you benefit from your co-workers knowing you like it in the rear? Do you benefit from your parents know what you like to put in your mouth? Is it helping you that your roommate from college that you still sort of keep in touch with but not really knows that you prefer the company of men? Probably not.

If there is nothing else to be learned from the Red Pill but one thing, it is to be intentional in your speech. Every piece of information you exchange with someone should have an intended effect. Just try asking yourself “What is the intended effect of letting this person know about my sexuality”. Suddenly there are much fewer people you feel compelled to tell. Dan in accounting is not going to give a damn - he’s off the list.

You must also weigh the possibility of real negative effects that might arise from coming out. Friendships have been ended and jobs have been lost by such good intentioned truths. Its not hard to predict these negative outcomes, but we’re driven forward by the belief that persecution is preferable to sublimation.

Lest I be misunderstood, it is not the act of coming out that is bad, but rather the indiscriminate nature espoused by much of popular culture. Being open is largely a positive thing, but once you cross a certain threshold you forfeit the ability to tactfully withhold that information. That is when you have lost control.

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Post Information
Title Coming out | What the Hell Were You Thinking?
Author [deleted]
Upvotes 19
Comments 32
Date April 23, 2014 2:42 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit /r/altTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/altTRP/coming-out-what-the-hell-were-you-thinking.163331
https://theredarchive.com/post/163331
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/altTRP/comments/23qiz1/coming_out_what_the_hell_were_you_thinking/
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