Being a Woman of Color, how do you navigate racism and colorism in your search for a HVM?

I'm interested in seeing responses from other ladies.

I don't really know; I feel it's likely the same as weeding men out if the pool was full of LVM. A lot of the same BS. Me personally I have dated mainly non-POC men who either were new money or became new money and they still carried biases/were low key racist even if they swore up and down they weren't. It always came out at some point or the signals were there and I ignored them.

With POC men, I find that their colorism/internalized racism/misogynoir (since I am a Black woman) was much, much easier to spot and run away from. I think it's just because I am much more aware of how my community views WOC/Black women vs. non-POC women so my shit tolerance is really low. I already know men who think like that put non-POC women on a pedastal so it registers in my mind that they are a lost cause for me; I'm not going to put forth the effort for you to accept me when you don't.

I think regardless of what race of man you are interested in/is interested in you, he needs to be showing himself out and moving mountains to be with you. Genuinely care for you. Point blank. Since being part of FDS, this ideology has strengthened. However, not to say you think this way, but for me, it helped knowing that as a Black woman, I need a little extra TLC from a HVM who is equipped to understand what I or we go through and also to stand up for me. Those non-POC partners I had were all about enjoying the benefits and fun of Black culture but when we were refused service or I was called names right in front of them, they did nothing and said nothing.

So whomever it is that is out there needs to be extremely emotionally intelligent, caring and special. I'm willing to hold out for that and I refuse to lower my standards in the face of the outside world calling me a gold digger or undesirable or whatever-- I don't think people like Serena Williams, Meghan Markle, Kamala Harris etc. give a damn and look at their partners and what they stand for. Too many LV men will say "I love X women because they're so exotic/not like white girls/have nice X features/ do it better" etc. (which is bullshit) but do they actually have empathy and care for you as a human being? Let's start there first.

You'll know if they truly do. They will show you.