My dear sisters, I need your support because I feel my head being cloudy, like it's right in my face, yet my "pickme" is trying it's number and try to find excuses for him. I try my best to vet people and see the red flags, and this is one of them, yet because I don't understand why is this happening, my mind is in the "negation" phase.
I'm in a relationship where my boyfriend has no problem (or so I tought) into stepping into his masculine role of a boyfriend. By saying this, I mean that in my country, it is normal and expected from men to be the provider and protector. My boyfriend, even if he's from a different culture, he understands and accepts this. It is also in his culture.
In our relationship he has spoiled me with different luxuries. YET, today, while we were at the grocery store, I wanted to buy some rose tea of ~ 5$, and asked him, "Is it ok to take this tea?", and of course he said yes. Just for a little bit of background, we had arguments about this, where he would complain that what we buy it's "unnecessary" or "in the other place it's cheaper" and then I decided to buy it myself and we had the argument of "insulting him" by buying it myself because this shows that "I don't view us as a relationship". So now I was in this frustration and anxiety state where I had to be hiper conscious about what we buy, and I wanted this tea, that I knew he will not view it as a necessity, and if I say that I want to pay for it, I would insult him abd he would be like "but why? You think I don't have money to pay for it?" And also, the place was a chinese store outside my city so I could not come later to buy it myself.
I am not joking when I say that we fought over the damn tea 3 hours long. And it all started with him saying "let's be more conscious next time when we buy things, shall we? ". And when I explained to him that I find it quite cringe to bitch about a 5$ tea, he started all this theory how he's in a period where he's having anxieties because of money (even if he has enough savings to live without working for 2 years).
And after all this fighting, his comment was: well, instead of asking me if I want to buy this tea or not, you should have told me, "I will buy this tea no matter what" and then let me decide if I want to buy it, and of course I will buy it, but then that would be my fault, so I cannot complain about it.
I feel my head cloudy after all this situation and on one side I feel like he is doing all this things for me and buying a lot of way more expensive things without me even asking yet this situation today gave me a vibe of...manipulation I guess. On the other hand, he told me he had some problems with the company that we's associated with and he might be leaving, but still I don't think it's a valid reason to throw shit at me. For information, I work also, I'm not dependent on him. It's just normal in our culture for the man to pay for things, it's just how it is.
I know in my head what he is doing is bad, yet I don't have the strength to admit it. I would love & really appreciate some FDS energy right now..