Do you give out your social medias or withhold them from the men you date?

Hello there everyone! My backstory with this post: So before the covid lockdown happened, last year in March, I was talking to different men on Hinge and while I don’t have a problem giving my number out (It’s a google voice number lol. I NEVER give out my real number to any man. Never.) I do have a problem sharing my social medias. Not all the men I talked to would ask for it but some would and I’d simply tell them, “I’m sorry but I don’t feel comfortable giving out my social media handles until I get to know you better. We can still text or talk on the phone though of course” .

Now one reason why I don’t give out my social medias to any man I date is because I had a bad experience in the past with a man who was angry because I didn’t want to pursue anything more with him. I made the mistake of giving him my Instagram handle (stupid of me I know; this was over 3 years ago) one day while we were out on a date. It seemed harmless at first but quite quickly I realized my mistake.

About 4 dates in I realized this man and I did not have much in common, he was a LVM trying to masquerade as a HVM with “money”, nor was I interested in pursuing things much further with him. I let him know, on our final 4th date, that while he seemed nice I just wasn’t feeling a connection with him and that I wished him all the best in life. He asked me if we could still be friends and I told him no because it’s insanely awkward doing that. Lol. He seemingly took it well in person and did not have much of a reaction besides “Ok I understand, best of luck to you too”.

Until one day, 2 weeks after I told him I wasn’t interested in dating him anymore, he went on a rampage on my Instagram account. He made comments accusing me of sleeping with the men I followed. He then tagged a couple of my best friends (all women) and started bad mouthing me under their posts. He then went onto the men I followed and started tagging me under their posts; again bad mouthing me and then exposing my street name (not my full address but just the street I lived in and city). To say I was mortified was an understatement lol. My friends all messaged me asking who the heck he was and why was he talking sh*t about me. They were smart enough to just ignore him, delete his comments, and block. I explained to them the story. I was advised to put my account on private and block him, all of this I did the second I saw his insane outbursts on my account.

I ended up putting my account on private for months because of that incident. It was somewhat of an annoying setback for me as I do modeling on the side so it stopped my side hustle for awhile. But besides that I was more concerned over my safety first and foremost. That incident made me realize that no matter how “nice” a man seems I am never giving him my social media accounts. You really never know how far a man will go when they don’t get their way.

I also never posted my full name on any of my social media accounts nor do I post my personal life on there because I was always afraid of stalkers. That incident I had 3 years ago just reminded me of my fear and because of that I will never post my family or friends. Not even the school I go to, where I work, zip NADA. 🙃

I’ve gotten a handful of men become agitated when I refuse to “hand over” my social media’s to them and go on to accuse me of being a catfish. I usually tell them “I won’t repeat myself again, I do not exchange social handles with someone I just met. Good day to you.” And I swiftly block right after lol.

I don’t judge anyone else for exchanging social media’s with the men they date, but I would advise everyone to be CAREFUL when doing that. Especially if you post A LOT of your personal + family life and have your real name on there!