Hello there everyone! My backstory with this post: So before the covid lockdown happened, last year in March, I was talking to different men on Hinge and while I don’t have a problem giving my number out (It’s a google voice number lol. I NEVER give out my real number to any man. Never.) I do have a problem sharing my social medias. Not all the men I talked to would ask for it but some would and I’d simply tell them, “I’m sorry but I don’t feel comfortable giving out my social media handles until I get to know you better. We can still text or talk on the phone though of course” .
Now one reason why I don’t give out my social medias to any man I date is because I had a bad experience in the past with a man who was angry because I didn’t want to pursue anything more with him. I made the mistake of giving him my Instagram handle (stupid of me I know; this was over 3 years ago) one day while we were out on a date. It seemed harmless at first but quite quickly I realized my mistake.
About 4 dates in I realized this man and I did not have much in common, he was a LVM trying to masquerade as a HVM with “money”, nor was I interested in pursuing things much further with him. I let him know, on our final 4th date, that while he seemed nice I just wasn’t feeling a connection with him and that I wished him all the best in life. He asked me if we could still be friends and I told him no because it’s insanely awkward doing that. Lol. He seemingly took it well in person and did not have much of a reaction besides “Ok I understand, best of luck to you too”.
Until one day, 2 weeks after I told him I wasn’t interested in dating him anymore, he went on a rampage on my Instagram account. He made comments accusing me of sleeping with the men I followed. He then tagged a couple of my best friends (all women) and started bad mouthing me under their posts. He then went onto the men I followed and started tagging me under their posts; again bad mouthing me and then exposing my street name (not my full address but just the street I lived in and city). To say I was mortified was an understatement lol. My friends all messaged me asking who the heck he was and why was he talking sh*t about me. They were smart enough to just ignore him, delete his comments, and block. I explained to them the story. I was advised to put my account on private and block him, all of this I did the second I saw his insane outbursts on my account.
I ended up putting my account on private for months because of that incident. It was somewhat of an annoying setback for me as I do modeling on the side so it stopped my side hustle for awhile. But besides that I was more concerned over my safety first and foremost. That incident made me realize that no matter how “nice” a man seems I am never giving him my social media accounts. You really never know how far a man will go when they don’t get their way.
I also never posted my full name on any of my social media accounts nor do I post my personal life on there because I was always afraid of stalkers. That incident I had 3 years ago just reminded me of my fear and because of that I will never post my family or friends. Not even the school I go to, where I work, zip NADA. 🙃
I’ve gotten a handful of men become agitated when I refuse to “hand over” my social media’s to them and go on to accuse me of being a catfish. I usually tell them “I won’t repeat myself again, I do not exchange social handles with someone I just met. Good day to you.” And I swiftly block right after lol.
I don’t judge anyone else for exchanging social media’s with the men they date, but I would advise everyone to be CAREFUL when doing that. Especially if you post A LOT of your personal + family life and have your real name on there!
[–]cherieblosum 50 points51 points52 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]honumaluhia13 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I support you in not handing out your social media accounts, but you should definitely try to find out their handles so you can vet them online.
Are they following Instagram bikini models?
Are the vast majority of the people they follow women?
Does he post pictures with drugs in the background?
Does he have racist or sexist tweets even from 4 years ago?
Social media is yet another way to eliminate men from your dating pool. It's another layer of protection— to protect you— so make sure you use it! One part of FDS guidelines is to vet potential dates by their online presence!
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