I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 months. He’s wonderful and I’m very much in love with him. He treats me so well, prioritises my comfort and wellbeing and tells me often that he loves me. He’s proud of me and encourages me to pursue work and education opportunities. Despite me telling him I had no real interest in Valentine’s Day, he planned an amazing day for me. I’ve never been in such a good relationship. Not only is he a wonderful partner, but so am I. Thanks to FDS, I have boundaries, I make my expectations clear and never accept less than what I deserve. He knows I want marriage and children. I’m mid 30s so I don’t want to wait 5+ years for these things. So... My only real hesitation with this relationship at the stage is, he doesn’t earn very much money. I don’t know his exact wage but I’m guessing it’s about half of mine. He’s never really prioritised his financial stability. We haven’t had an explicit conversation about money but from a few things he has mentioned, I don’t think he has savings. Lately he has started applying for other jobs and has told me that he wants to be able to support me and any future children, which he can’t do if he stays in his current job. How long should I wait for him to demonstrate that he can provide financial security?
[–]redbirdfliesFDS Moderator 74 points75 points76 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]sleeeeepie[S] 29 points30 points31 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]redbirdfliesFDS Moderator 27 points28 points29 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]sleeeeepie[S] 22 points23 points24 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]redbirdfliesFDS Moderator 27 points28 points29 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sleeeeepie[S] 18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FitncurlyFDS Specialist 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ASeaOfQuotesFDS Specialist 34 points35 points36 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]sleeeeepie[S] 16 points17 points18 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ASeaOfQuotesFDS Specialist 16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sleeeeepie[S] 13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PollyAnnaSunshineFDS Specialist 14 points15 points16 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]lival42 45 points46 points47 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]luvmyvulvaxoxo1 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Jesus. I swear every single post by a woman here and any other relationship sub is “he’s wonderful, so affectionate, I love him so much, he takes care of me, but there’s one important thing that I want to ignore because he meets the bare minimum”
Common dude. He doesn’t have savings? What kind of savings are you talking about? Forget that. If he doesn’t meet your level of savings, he’s not a fit for you. He’ll spend all your money. He’ll convince you to pay for more because you have more money. Even if he doesn’t convince you, he’ll happily let you and expect you to.
There’s a decent chance you’ll drain your savings on him because you seem so caught up in a tiny bit of affection.
[–]sleeeeepie[S] 16 points17 points18 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]luvmyvulvaxoxoFDS Specialist 15 points16 points17 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sleeeeepie[S] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cryptohobo 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]sleeeeepie[S] 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS Specialist 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Colour_riot 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]donttextme_k 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link