In reflecting over my college years, I realize that I've said yes to many things I didn't want to do because I was put on the spot unexpectedly. I've noticed this happening especially in moments where I don't know where my boundaries stand with something or when I feel unsafe, which is typically around men or abusive people. I thought I used to be an assertive person as I was raised in a matriarchal culture, had a strong independent mother, and was the "protest" child growing up but I think it was because my boundaries really weren't tested that much pre college. I don't know where along the line I fell victim to female socialization, but I've been actively trying to assert my boundaries more often.

Some things I've done so far over the past 1.5 years is to read self help books and Youtube videos, therapy, going on first dates with men to practice enforcing my boundaries, block negative people and pick mes from my social media feeds and friend groups, study my assertive friends, and reading affirmations to build my self worth. Despite all of this, I'm not seeing the improvements I want and have had some major setbacks on my journey. I've also been dealing with a lot of shame and guilt because of my setbacks, especially as I feel like I'm surrounded by assertive women who consistently enforce their boundaries.

I think once I things became more restrictions ease more, I can get more practice in and hopefully see more of an improvement. If anyone has any suggestions, resources, or ways to practice in the meantime, please let me know!