I feel awful but I have to admit sometimes I feel jealous, or angry, or just sad and hopeless sitting back seeing my friends get married. My cousin, who is 2 years younger than me is engaged now too. I came to FDS when I finally had enough of being a pickme and put my foot down after being cheated on and future faked by clowns. I now moved out of state and away from all my family to start over, level up, and use the next few months to stay away from dating to really improve myself instead.

I still can't help but have all these feelings when I see my cousin and his fiance being so happy and all my friends being so happy posting their wedding and wedding planning pics. It feels like the world is moving forward and like I'm stuck.

I deleted Facebook off and haven't been using my other social media since it is affecting me. Whenever my family calls me up they keep asking when ill "meet a nice guy" and pest me to meet a military guy they know when i visit at Christmas. Despite me telling them I need to work on myself and not interested right now they persist.

My friend and cousin though are all excited about their weddings and text me about it. I just feel bad. I can control my lifestyle, work ethic, eating habits and make them higher value and despite being a good person i never had luck with guys.

I'm smart, fairly attractive, and have a strong work ethic. I'm clean, dress nicely, and have a nice clean car. I'm polite, attentive, I enjoy gardening and volunteering. I've traveled internationally and lived in 3 different states. I started a business for fun and its successful. It kills me and I've actually cried seeing them get married. I know i deserve a HVM and its the one thing I can't control.

Anyone else struggling or have any advice how to stop these feelings? I wish I could turn my feelings off and genuinely be happy for them.