In the past, this dude and I met up through a friend once. He asked me out to a nice dinner date and I said let's get to know each other a little bit first.

We texted back and forth for a little and I asked him to call me. Then all of a sudden he mentioned how he had anxiety really bad and how he can't even call into work so he can't do a call with me. I was having cognitive dissonance wondering how was he saying he's gonna go to this nice restaurant... but he doesn't even have the balls to answer a phone call?

I simply pulled back and said "I can recommend some great therapists in your area but I need to have a phone call before meeting up, so I wish you the best. Take care".

He started asking why saying he was getting medications and needed at least another week. I know actual therapy involves learning skills to manage anxiety, confronting the source of the issues, setting boundaries etc and medication when it is added takes a minute to kick in. Popping 1 pill doesn't magically make you better, and the vibe he was giving me was all around self diagnosing and faking anxiety to manipulate me.

I have had a guy in the past I blocked because he got nasty when I rejected a couch "date" (pre FDS I was a pickme and hadn't immediately blocked) and he pulled out the old "i have anxiety!" Excuse and it seemed fake and manipulative. The thing is fakers like to proudly advertise they have it and seek pity and to use it as an excuse. My friend and sister never flaunted it, they were very quiet and acted embarrassed of it.

My sister and close friend had anxiety, they were seeing therapists and had gotten diagnosed and were in treatment. In both cases I saw how it impacted their whole lives. In class they were shy and quiet, if I took my sister anywhere she clung to me and didn't say much. They struggled having any friends, and both wouldn't join activities or go out unless it was with a family member. They stuttered, they would shake a little from being nervous and get clammy. He was calm and cool and confident in person. He worked in customer service and was confident seeming.

I highly doubt this dude had anxiety. He was fine in person and if you can't take a phone call even from work or me, how are you able to meetup to take me to a dinner date?

My standards are not to accept a "project /man child" and that includes dudes with mental illnesses. I went to therapy and when I was going through it I was not dating. I would turn dudes down during that time, I was a mess and couldn't date anyone. If a dude is going through it he needs to seek a professional not Google. I will not entertain him. It is a wife privilege/serious commited relationship thing if I am with someone and they experience a sudden trauma (someone dies, they get injured/car accident, etc) then its their privilege for me to be there for them during that time but still they have to seek an actual therapist.

So how do you deal with guys bringing up mental health especially the I have anxiety / depression dudes?

How do you tell if someone is faking it?

Haven't seen it addressed too much and I wanted to expose that some narcs will lie about having it as a manipulation tactic.