I am only a couple years older than them, but unfortunately am not working right now because of mental health, I have tried to secure space from them ( taking one bathroom and them having the other but my father never steps in to enforce it ). They don't comprehend how they make most of their own mess, they think if parts of my room are messy ( depression sometimes although I DONT like it ) that I must be responsible for all the mess in the house even if they don't apply the same to themselves. I started keeping every single thing in my room to prove it's not me, and they still blame me. I haven't worn makeup in a whole 2 years nearly yet he still says my makeup messes up the bathroom, they are the WORST gaslighters, and I don't even think they realize it. Used to blame and accuse my mom when they wanted to have friends over for the house being messy yet failed to realize it was 80 percent of THEIR STUFF she would clean up. Still do that when they want to have their girlfriends over like its the most humialting thing, but they don't bother for their sister?
I don't really want to isolate from my brothers but unfortunately I feel like its what I have to do to get myself out of this situation, and not extra depressed, I just hate seeing my own brothers turn out to be this way, it is maddening.
I feel like they don't respect my opinion on their horrific behaviour because I am mentally ill right now and therefore in their narrow eyes an automatic loser. I have no way of explaining to them that the American Pie trilogy is not the pinnacle idea of life for me
My biggest problem with it is I do not want them to be bad men but I see them going there so fast to LVM town, my brother even said the sentence yesterday that all women want to be a mother to their boyfriend LIKE EXCUSE ME EW, his now girlfriend does his homework, and applied to his job and college for him. They also keep saying they are kids and I should not have expectations of them but they are going to be 18 very soon, why is it that somehow men seem to assume them being a kid is extended until 30. GROW UP have personal responsibility, like is this why creepy 20 year olds date teenage girls You are not a kid Jesus get a life.
It is just difficult to accept the fact as a sister I have no control over this nor is it my responsibility to stop them from being this way, I just have to save myself from it I guess is feel awful. Sorry for the slightly rant reply I significantly appreciate your advice.
I am really hoping this is the case for us and as they go to university and college they grow up a little more, and get a better understanding of the world and they don't join the incel population. They have all the mental characteristics, except physically they have girlfriends and are "popular" but as life favours them less as it tends to do with most people I fear they will really become LVM and losers, makes me so heartbroken.
I am going to try the head down and isolated approach for awhile to try and get my own mental health back and just pray that they turn out okay. I can't stand the fact of them being this way, its so aggravating and harmful to them. I don't even know where their attitudes come from.
I am starting to realize that they are simply just not going to respect my opinion on the basis I am their sister, but hopefully they eventually will for someone else. Im trying to let go a little bit on the guilty aspect of it, and just accept it :)
I somehow missed this reply, I Really appreciate this advice, It will definitely be hard for me but ultimately think you are right the only way to "win" in this situation is to focus on me as much as I can.
This is becoming a really tough pill to swallow for me, I love my family and definitely feel that "family" drive indebt but the only real reason I am letting my brothers "off" for now is because they are teenagers, I will disengage for now but I will most definitely not be sticking around to support and be there for my brothers if they turn in to the men I fear that they will. My heart goes out to you and all the betrayal youve experienced at the hands of people who are the ones who should never betray. I will definitely keep your advice at the forefront of my relationships, thank you.
[–]ASeaOfQuotesFDS Specialist 40 points41 points42 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]thatjimmylove1 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
I am only a couple years older than them, but unfortunately am not working right now because of mental health, I have tried to secure space from them ( taking one bathroom and them having the other but my father never steps in to enforce it ). They don't comprehend how they make most of their own mess, they think if parts of my room are messy ( depression sometimes although I DONT like it ) that I must be responsible for all the mess in the house even if they don't apply the same to themselves. I started keeping every single thing in my room to prove it's not me, and they still blame me. I haven't worn makeup in a whole 2 years nearly yet he still says my makeup messes up the bathroom, they are the WORST gaslighters, and I don't even think they realize it. Used to blame and accuse my mom when they wanted to have friends over for the house being messy yet failed to realize it was 80 percent of THEIR STUFF she would clean up. Still do that when they want to have their girlfriends over like its the most humialting thing, but they don't bother for their sister?
I don't really want to isolate from my brothers but unfortunately I feel like its what I have to do to get myself out of this situation, and not extra depressed, I just hate seeing my own brothers turn out to be this way, it is maddening.
I feel like they don't respect my opinion on their horrific behaviour because I am mentally ill right now and therefore in their narrow eyes an automatic loser. I have no way of explaining to them that the American Pie trilogy is not the pinnacle idea of life for me
My biggest problem with it is I do not want them to be bad men but I see them going there so fast to LVM town, my brother even said the sentence yesterday that all women want to be a mother to their boyfriend LIKE EXCUSE ME EW, his now girlfriend does his homework, and applied to his job and college for him. They also keep saying they are kids and I should not have expectations of them but they are going to be 18 very soon, why is it that somehow men seem to assume them being a kid is extended until 30. GROW UP have personal responsibility, like is this why creepy 20 year olds date teenage girls You are not a kid Jesus get a life.
It is just difficult to accept the fact as a sister I have no control over this nor is it my responsibility to stop them from being this way, I just have to save myself from it I guess is feel awful. Sorry for the slightly rant reply I significantly appreciate your advice.
[–]ASeaOfQuotesFDS Specialist 16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ethylredds 8 points9 points10 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]thatjimmylove1 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
I am really hoping this is the case for us and as they go to university and college they grow up a little more, and get a better understanding of the world and they don't join the incel population. They have all the mental characteristics, except physically they have girlfriends and are "popular" but as life favours them less as it tends to do with most people I fear they will really become LVM and losers, makes me so heartbroken.
I am going to try the head down and isolated approach for awhile to try and get my own mental health back and just pray that they turn out okay. I can't stand the fact of them being this way, its so aggravating and harmful to them. I don't even know where their attitudes come from.
[–]ethylredds 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]thatjimmylove2 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I am starting to realize that they are simply just not going to respect my opinion on the basis I am their sister, but hopefully they eventually will for someone else. Im trying to let go a little bit on the guilty aspect of it, and just accept it :)
[–]ethylredds 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BabyGothQFDS Specialist 6 points7 points8 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]thatjimmylove4 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I somehow missed this reply, I Really appreciate this advice, It will definitely be hard for me but ultimately think you are right the only way to "win" in this situation is to focus on me as much as I can.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Deneive 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]bitch_not_it 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]thatjimmylove2 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
This is becoming a really tough pill to swallow for me, I love my family and definitely feel that "family" drive indebt but the only real reason I am letting my brothers "off" for now is because they are teenagers, I will disengage for now but I will most definitely not be sticking around to support and be there for my brothers if they turn in to the men I fear that they will. My heart goes out to you and all the betrayal youve experienced at the hands of people who are the ones who should never betray. I will definitely keep your advice at the forefront of my relationships, thank you.
[–]bitch_not_it 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link