I failed at following FDS principles and I was assaulted on a date.

level_up_always · 2021-05-28T01:22:10+00:00

I'm so incredibly sorry. Please be kind to yourself. I highly recommend TRE (trauma releasing exercises) it's a gentle way to release trauma stored in the body it's the way animals naturally do it. It may look a little silly but you will get some relief. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeUioDuJjFI also if I'm not in a place to do TRE there is something called the butterfly hug that you can do anywhere in public etc to comfort yourself it stimulates a similar effect to EMDR as it uses bilateral stimulation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGGJrqscvtU but TRE is more powerful so I'd really try and give that a go if you can. Sending hugs if you want them <3

edited to add: I didn't put any books or things like that because I know when just experiencing trauma it's hard to even focus on that kind of stuff and/or can be triggering but can share if you want them for when you're ready main ones are the body keeps the score and waking the tiger (from the person who created somatic experiencing a modality you may be interested in)

_cnz_ · 2021-05-28T02:19:12+00:00

I experienced the same things a few months ago. I had gone out on a date with someone who I thought was HV to practice what I recently learned from FDS. I wasn’t strong with my boundaries and ignored red flag behavior because deep down I thought I wasn’t good enough to be HV. Just know that what happened was not your fault and that just because you didn’t follow FDS values does not mean you deserved to be assaulted. What happened to you is no way a reflection of you and your character. It might be hard to believe this right now but accepting this will release a lot of trauma that you’d potentially store in your body

I’d recommend calling RAINN as they have a 24/7 hotline where they can give you healing tips, counseling (1on1, group, etc), legal and reporting referrals, etc. I called them multiple times a day at different locations every day of the week for months just crying to a sympathetic ear. Look on psychologytoday.com for a somatic therapist to help with the dissociation and realigning your mind-body. I also advise watching ASMR videos to soothe the anxiety that you feel. I like watching the reiki themed videos because they focusing on healing. There’s a bunch on YT dedicated to sexual trauma as well. Other forms of ASMR can be too aggressive and anxiety inducing so be mindful when looking on videos to watch

Title	I failed at following FDS principles and I was assaulted on a date.
Author	thruawoo90210
Upvotes	60
Comments	4
Date	May 27, 2021 2:12 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/nm8d3z/i_failed_at_following_fds_principles_and_i_was/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/i-failed-at-following-fds-principles-and-i-was.791866 https://theredarchive.com/post/791866