I don’t know what it is, I’m always considered temporary to most men. It could be that I’m choosing the wrong types, but I wonder if it’s a result of being mixed race in a mostly white city. I have friends who are in committed relationships and the men never change their mind and leave them. I’m attractive, but I think that’s all men seem to see in me. I dress more modest to make sure I’m not giving them any ideas.
That always happens to me, they change their mind. Even when I was in a three year relationship my ex left me for his co-worker. Thankfully he was toxic and I’m glad he’s out of my life, but I dated a guy who I thought I’d be in a relationship with quite recently. There were no red flags. Then, lo and behold he told me he changed his mind while we were on a little getaway together and that he doesn’t see me “long-term”.
How can I stop comparing myself who girls who are in great relationships where the man doesn’t have a second thought about them? I know this because my friends are in these relationships. I’m worried that it’s a result of my race, or the fact that I’m more of an alpha female type, etc. Thinking this way is probably wrong, but I can’t help but feel like I’m flawed because no one sees me long-term. Any advice?
[–]thanarealnobody 53 points54 points55 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]wayward_woman21 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
I don't know if it's because you are mixed race, but it could be. Beware of white men. Many of them fetishize women of other races and will use them for sex, but won't commit to them because they still have this primitive idea that their children need to look like them and thus be the same race as them. It comes from their caveman desire to pass on their genes and replicate themselves. These men will use nonwhite women as placeholders until they can find white women who want them. Not all white men are like this of course. An HVM white man won't waste a woman's time in that way. But since we live in a world of LVMs, be very cautious. The best thing you can do is vet vet vet. Vet relentlessly. Find out as much as you possibly can before you have sex with him. The three month rule of waiting for sex is very important. Men who are right wing or center right are far more likely to care about racial purity so of course stay away from all conservatives.
[–]kittycakes22[S] 24 points25 points26 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]strawberrychampagnez 13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bitch_not_it 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]strawberrychampagnez 15 points16 points17 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]kittycakes22[S] 14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mademoiselle29 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link