I’m in my 20s and so a lot of my friends are in relationships.
One of my friends, buys several gifts for anniversary/birthday/Christmas/“well done for finishing your essay” but I rarely hear anything about the gifts he gets for her. I know he drew her a card and once bought her a Victoria secret body spray (my friend hates artificial smells and only likes her beauty products to be vegan and cruelty free but I guess the thought counts?)
Another friend has gone through hell and back to sort her visa so she can visit her boyfriend (he never visits her, she has to come to him) and she buys him so many presents to bring to him but she’s just happy with “his company”.
I’m not against relationships or treating your significant other. I love to make/give gifts to my friends and family. I send valentines gifts to my friends, I make personalised cards on birthdays - I’m not against being kind and generous.
I notice that some of my older friends who have been in longer relationships, don’t do this as much. At least not in an unbalanced way.
I feel like when we are young and feel validated/wanted/beautiful from a guy, it can overwhelm us and want to focus all of our energy into this person without keeping a balance.
I don’t want to spoil someone that doesn’t want to spoil me in return. I’m not going to spend my money, effort and time into someone who is spending none of these things on me.
I think it’s because I was that person.
I bought gifts for a guy that didn’t even bring a card to my birthday dinner.
So i just have to silently watch as my friends tell me “picked up those specialty coffee beans that David loves! 💖💖 and I also bought him some new hair products and a handmade pillowcase that I embroidered myself. He’s such a cutie, he deserves it”
And what do they get in return?
The delusion that this guy is the best they can do.
