~ archived since 2018 ~

I want to break up with my boyfriend because of porn

March 17, 2021
252 upvotes

This probably sounds kinda silly but it’s REALLY bugging me. I have sex with my boyfriend every day, often several times a day.

Ive noticed recently that every time he opens his google to search something, he’s always been searching porn videos. Pretty much every day or every couple of days.

I live in the house. I’m here and having sex with him regularly.

How do I bring this up? It feels like a dealbreaker to me.

UPDATE: I just broke up with him and left to stay with my mum. I told him that regardless of society opinions and whether or not other people may agree, regular porn use is a dealbreaker for me, especially when he should in theory be sexually satisfied because we have sex on the regular, and when I am literally in the house. It was super awkward and I feel really horrible about it to be honest but kinda relieved and strong that I stuck up for myself and my boundaries now rather than letting this eat away at me and give way to resentment in a couple of months.

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Post Information
Title I want to break up with my boyfriend because of porn
Author luceario
Upvotes 252
Comments 8
Date March 17, 2021 3:21 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/askFDS
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/i-want-to-break-up-with-my-boyfriend-because-of.792353
https://theredarchive.com/post/792353
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/m6qzmn/i_want_to_break_up_with_my_boyfriend_because_of/
Comments

[–]ENFP_Canadian 60 points61 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It is going to get worse.

My nvm ex watched porn so much that the sex went from daily to almost non-existent. I have a high libido so he could never use me not wanting sec as an excuse. He would actually brag about going to the bathroom to watch while I was still in bed. Then when we would have sex, he would complain to me that he had ED problems and was taking meds for it. He didn't realize that it was related to porn. It also made him extremely selfish during sex.

I dumped him last month. My anxiety disorder has suddenly disappeared. My sex toys never disappoint me.

If you want to leave because of this, you don't even need us to tell you that it's a justifiable reason. It's a dealbreaker for you and you've every right to walk away from this disrespectful man.

[–][deleted] 152 points153 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“This isn’t working. We need to break up.”

The end. I almost started that with “I’m sorry, this isn’t working.” But I’ve decided to stop saying sorry I’m really not sorry about. I was raised to apologize for my feelings and opinions too much, don’t let that be you. Be free!!!

[–]luvmyvulvaxoxo19 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

Good lord this is ridiculous. When the fuck is he watching porn if you live there? He’s clearly lying about his habits.

I masturbate a lot for a woman (every time I fall asleep) but I don’t watch porn and it’s not when I’m supposed to be actually doing productive shit.

[–]luceario[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have no idea. I assume it’s when he’s in the shower because he takes a weirdly long time in there. Or when I get up earlier than him and he stays in bed (he works a late shift).

[–]ASeaOfQuotesFDS Specialist 64 points65 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your past three posts here have all highlighted different glaring red flags in this relationship, each one more onerous than the next.

I know it’s hard, but I think at this point you know what you need to do. This isn’t going to get any better, and in fact it’s likely going to get worse. Even if you try to communicate now you’ve built up a lot of resentment and it’s not easily repairable, especially because whatever effort he made in the beginning, it’s becoming clearer and clearer that it was all for show and now that he’s comfortable with you and assumes you wouldn’t leave him he can just keep giving less to you and receiving the same benefits.

He is literally leaching you of your time, your energy, your libido, and slowly but surely building up defense mechanisms and behaviors that are going to turn into major relationship trauma and anxiety if you don’t end it now. Please for the love of yourself, look at this objectively, take the advice you’ve been given, and end this relationship before you waste anymore of your youth and your time on him.

[–]myownhater 76 points77 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is not going to change. Ever. It’s going to get worse and you will start feeling like you’re not enough. Just leave him.

[–]Jiou112 125 points126 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Read the handbook. This sub is strongly against porn use. It is a deal breaker. Don't bring it up, just leave. Block, delete.

[–]stillcantsee 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Proud of you for ending things. It never gets better- the only option really is to just walk away!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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