If there's no "the one", is it just analytical?

basuragoddess · 2022-04-04T07:44:34+00:00

Choosing a partner by certain traits is the best way to find someone you can be in a healthy relationship with. ‘Love’, or what we perceive as love - butterflies, shared humor, chemistry - is simply not enough. In fact, it’s the quickest way to don rose-colored glasses and become unable to see red flags until it’s too late.

It’s important to find someone that shares your values and whose outlook on life complements yours. They should be a respectful, empathetic, and mature person. They should pursue you and understand your boundaries the moment you express them.

It’s fun to just date around, let your heart lead the way and live for the kind of love portrayed in movies. But it’s not smart. And far more often than not, it leaves you broken (or God forbid, a victim of trauma), crumpled on the floor at 2am wondering why this happened. That is the cycle most if not all FDSers have been through, before learning how to be truly discerning with men.

This is what will happen if you let your emotions lead you, settle for men who don’t share your values, excuse low-value/low-effort behavior because of infatuation, accept noncommittal relationships (as expressed in your post), or in general give away your energy, time and body for free. Most men are low-value and they WILL take advantage of a woman who they can sense does not have boundaries and will ‘accept them as they are’. You are under no such obligation to be agreeable and hope for the best. It’s 2022 girl. You are the prize, and it’s imperative that you 1) build yourself up into the high-value person you want to be first, and 2) only entertain men who are at your level.

Anyway, I highly suggest reading the FDS Handbook. It has a lot of good information on how to be a high-value person who only dates other high-value people.

Title	If there's no "the one", is it just analytical?
Author	youngsteryona
Upvotes	14
Comments	1
Date	April 3, 2022 6:22 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/tvfwh7/if_theres_no_the_one_is_it_just_analytical/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/if-theres-no-the-one-is-it-just-analytical.1108795 https://theredarchive.com/post/1108795