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I’m discovering that MOST men are to some degree narcissistic, sociopathic, or borderline…what are the red flags we should all be aware of ?

November 22, 2021

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Title I’m discovering that MOST men are to some degree narcissistic, sociopathic, or borderline…what are the red flags we should all be aware of ?
Author SignificantCap8064
Upvotes 119
Comments 6
Date November 22, 2021 3:20 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/askFDS
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/im-discovering-that-most-men-are-to-some-degree.1087233
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/qzbqua/im_discovering_that_most_men_are_to_some_degree/

[–]super_thinker_ 47 points48 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Are you the only person he treats well/respects?

How does he talk about others? How does he talk about women?

How is his relationship with his mom/sisters/the women who raised him?

Would you trust him watching your pets/kids/plants for a weekend alone?

How does he treat you when you’re sick?

How does he react when you set a boundary/say “no” to him?

How impulsive and reactive is he?

Is he always the victim in the stories he tells?

[–]binjuxz 16 points17 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I disagree with how they are with their sisters/mom. I had a covert narcissist ex who was abnormally close with his sister and is close with his mom. I would say, see how he acts with his friends with you there and when it's just the two of you. the boundary test after the love bomb phase is a good way to test them. something bothers you? bring it up, see how they handle conflicts.

in my experience, mine was a bit misogynistic and would Leer at other women making them uncomfortable but gaslight me when I'd bring it up, saying I'm jealous/insecure when I've legit seen women feel uncomfortable or angry over his actions..and didn't like anything I'd have to say in regards to women's rights or differences when it even came to bike seat recommendations.. rationale, logic, empathy, maturity, compassion - usually lack with them.

[–]super_thinker_ 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thank you. I agree that the point about mothers and sisters can vary.

Most of my exes did everything a decent son/brother should for their moms and sisters (answered their calls and texts, got them gifts, went out for their birthdays) but didn’t do anything beyond that.

Basically only gave them the bare minimum.

And when their moms and sisters expressed any kind of need, they rolled their eyes and begrudgingly complied.

These were the guys who always looked down on their friends’ girlfriends too.

I consider a good son to be one who is genuinely grateful for all the hard work his mom put into raising him and likes to take care of her and talks of her fondly. He shares a lot of good memories with his mom and likes to see her/keep in touch often.

[–]binjuxz 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I agree with that. Bare minimum is too much for them.

This is a good example of how not all narcissists are the same (part of being on the spectrum), not all love bomb either. Mine would be there for his sis but he wasn't a good partner. I think they don't really respect women overall and are quite superficial, have major abandonment issues too.

Good resources to educate yourself on these types are:

Doctor Ramani Mental Healness (self aware, diagnosed narcissist) Stephanie Lyn Coaching

If you're being gaslit, or feel like you're walking on eggshells, you need to leave the relationship. If he doesn't take any accountability, leave the guy. if he blames you for feeling a certain way due to his actions/behaviour, leave him. these are all red flags of a toxic partner. if you're about to post on reddit about your guy, questioning your own validity on your feelings, then there's something going on.

[–]moxymoxalone 51 points52 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They have a penis.

[–]fireforestfairy 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Check out the handbook. It has info on this.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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