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I’m so fed up. I truly want to understand men, why they do these things and why they don’t care?

January 10, 2021
53 upvotes

Me and this guy who I’ve known for a couple years as a friend have been on dates in the past. We started talking again and hanging out recently, per his request. Our chemistry is amazing and we have lots of fun together, he’d tell me how beautiful I am and how interesting I am, etc. but not in a love-bomby like I’ve seen with other guys, he was into me for years and I am finally in a spot where I can date again, because before that I was in and out of a toxic relationship.

Cut to the day before New Years, he said he wanted to see me again this week but flaked on me...not once on Thursday but TWICE. He did it on Saturday by not even texting me in advance. I had to reach out first because it was 8pm.

I probably shouldn’t have even messaged him. When he told me he was flaking, I replied and said “You’re flakier than a croissant. Not the best quality in a friend or otherwise, I find it to be disrespectful. See you around”.

So I’m assuming he’s not that into me and decided to basically tell him he wasn’t respecting my time. Why don’t men ever say, “Wow I messed up let me apologize and make it up to her?” He didn’t respond to my message at all, and that just pisses me off more to know he doesn’t even care. I don’t understand. I think romantic films and Disney has made women think men are good and kind but in reality they always have the audacity. Why? I just want to understand. I truly don’t understand men.

In the past, I have had a guy literally do all the HVM relationship things, and then dump me on a romantic getaway HE planned. Please provide some clarity on why men are like this. I think I’m just going to die alone, by choice. The guy who flaked yesterday is 27, and I’m 26 (for context).

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Post Information
Title I’m so fed up. I truly want to understand men, why they do these things and why they don’t care?
Author kittycakes22
Upvotes 53
Comments 5
Date January 10, 2021 9:12 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askFDS
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/im-so-fed-up-i-truly-want-to-understand-men-why.1059803
https://theredarchive.com/post/1059803
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/kun4t1/im_so_fed_up_i_truly_want_to_understand_men_why/
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Comments

[–]Ancient-Cucumber 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

26 is suuuper young, wish I was 26 again! Don't be sad the trash left.
As for why he didn't apologize, is either because he didn't care, or some people just feel better to not be confrontational, as in they know they messed up, and instead of apologizing, they just disappear. Not a mature thing to do at all, or respectful. And yes, recently I read on a scrote's social media that apologizing is a sign of weakness so you should never do it, so there's that.

[–]spikcicleFDS Specialist 25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How did you give someone the chance to flake on you twice? I would’ve not messaged him or entertain seeing him again after him flaking the first time. Also the fact that you guys have a bit of history tells me that he might have not treated you well in the past, which means that you definitely should not have entertain him this time around.

whether or not you reached out to him and sent to the croissant message doesn’t matter because you’re not gonna see him again. It was honestly kind of a funny message. But sending that message and showing that you’re not gonna tolerate that, and then seeing him again next week, sends the very wrong message, and tells him that you’re going to put up with whatever he does. Block him. Move on. Seriously.

[–]orangeboobert17 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Eh after sending that message I’d have blocked him and deleted. Moral of the story is say nothing if you’re expecting some sort of high value man response from a low value man. If you do send, do it for your own closure.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree girl how can they say women are cruel whenever we have always been wired to attach deeply with someone meanwhile they do things like this

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because he doesn’t care. Who knows why? You just block and delete when they do shit like this.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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