Hey FDS,

I'm seeing a guy who has informed me that he's quitting professional school in order to become a teacher. He wants to teach history/social studies in his rural hometown. I'm a city girl, and have visited his hometown which is quite literally the middle nowhere and incredibly conservative. I would never fit in in a place like that, and wouldn't want to either.

While I think teaching is a noble career, I've realized that this essentially means that if we stay together, I would make 2 to 3 times more than him (I am currently in professional school-- same program he was in), and he would probably pressure me to move to an area that I simply would NEVER move to. Is it wrong that this all makes me uncomfortable? He has also started making comments about how "meaningful" teaching is compared to the field we were both pursuing before, which is VERY annoying. I also found out recently that he actually did very poorly in the first year of our program, which he didn't tell me, and I had to learn from a mutual friend. I feel like he is just giving up because he didn't feel "special" and "valued" in a notoriously competitive program. Many people don't do well but pursue the degree and go on to be very successful. I feel like this could be some early signs of LV behavior and not really what I signed up for in this relationship.

Ideally, I would like someone who contributes financially at the same level that I will be. If not, I would want him to be someone who takes care of the home, could take on childcare responsibilities if we have children-- which I don't see him doing. Above all, I just feel like he's taking the easy way out and I would like to be with someone who values being able to financially provide for their family. Our program is hard, but I have prioritized financial independence and success. He clearly hasn't.

Do you think it's shallow to feel this way? It feels awkward to talk to my friends about it because it seems elitist and superficial.