Men who want to be “friends” or are looking for something “causal” first?

Optimal_Grapefruit_5 · 2021-05-25T19:13:01+00:00

No man is on an online dating app to make friends. Lurk in male-dominated spaces, they ridicule women looking for friendship there as naive.

When they say they're looking for friendship or something casual, they're telling you they're going to put in zero effort. They're telling you going out with them means lowering your expectations. They're telling you they're fucking around (or hope to be). The most you can expect from them is having your contact saved with an actual name.

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-05-25T15:17:06+00:00

Always a red flag if you are looking for an actual relationship. They are literally saying they don’t want that. “Go with the flow” and “casual” are code for fuck without commitment, effort, and they always have an excuse to back out when you develop feelings.

Following FDS principles, we do not support casual sex. That’s what these men want. They aren’t going to wait 3 months for it and keep dating you and ask you to be their girlfriend. Or if they do, they’ll get what they want then dump you after and remind you that you knew they weren’t looking for commitment.

Either you want commitment or you don’t. If you do, swerve the men who tell you exactly what they don’t want. You aren’t going to change them.

Twohagsover30 · 2021-05-25T20:48:53+00:00

Do not use OLD. Full stop. The apps are designed to sell women and keep men swiping. It's bad for anyone HV. Period. Go meet people and build connections through activities.

luckycharmxx · 2021-05-27T00:57:09+00:00

A great piece of advice I've heard is that, if a man tells you something that does not benefit his motives, believe it. As an illustration, if a man tells you that he does not want a relationship, but still tries to sleep with you, believe that he was telling you the 100% about not wanting a relationship with you --- it will not change! That's not to say that it could never turn into something more with these men, but men that explicitly tell you they are looking for a casual relationship or want to "go with the flow and see where things go" typically will not end up wanting a relationship with you.

I am personally not a fan of casual sexual relationships because, in my experience, these men generally want you to act like a girlfriend to them -- without acting like a boyfriend in return. As a HVW, that's not okay with me

ordinarilynightmare · 2021-05-26T07:20:22+00:00

I have had experiences with these guys and although I don’t always follow FDS guidelines on how I maneuver these relationships (often I give into them sexually) I know that I SHOULD. If you really want to give them a chance prepare to be completely emotionally detached which is near to impossible. I create my distance and just hang out with them out of boredom... but... this is also wrong and do not follow my example as I should be leveling myself up and spending time doing things that are actually productive and beneficial to me not doing things that in reality have little to no benefit to me except curing my boredom. Self esteem they won’t give you. They’ll fuck anyone. If anything they make it even worse bc they’re basically saying indirectly “you’re just not good enough in MY eyes to take seriously” and do you really want a guy who doesn’t respect you enough to even consider that? NO. I’m just relaying my experience with them and why I want to change this about myself thanks to FDS. If you do want to give them a chance, don’t wait around for them and don’t cut out other options (they’re literally doing the same thing so who cares) don’t tell them you’re dating other people in hopes you’ll get them jealous they literally DONT care and will never care. That’s the reality sadly w guys who say they want to date “casually” don’t fall for it they won’t fall in love with you I’m really sorry no matter how fucking amazing you are they just don’t care point blank PERIOD. They. Don’t. Care. Tell yourself that bc it took them two seconds to say they don’t care in their OLD profile. It’s why people use euphemisms, which seemingly masks the harsh reality of what these men are seeking for and how truly disgusted we should be by them.

Title	Men who want to be “friends” or are looking for something “causal” first?
Author	raphaellastorm
Upvotes	40
Comments	16
Date	May 25, 2021 3:09 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/nkrz5e/men_who_want_to_be_friends_or_are_looking_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/men-who-want-to-be-friends-or-are-looking-for.791879 https://theredarchive.com/post/791879