Now that FDS is a way of life, how do you live your life not in constant disappointment of society?

VorpalSingularity · 2021-07-22T04:14:36+00:00

This may sound a bit woo-woo, but I've come to terms with the fact that my past pain and experiences happened to me for a reason so I may help others become their best selves. In the FDS context, I've introduced the community to friends that were in abusive relationships and pickme mode, using my past experiences to empathize and gently guide them to first loving and valuing themselves. 90-95% of the women I've talked to have left their terrible situations and started working on themselves, and I'm so goddamn proud of them. Some have attacked me, but you can't save them all.

I've also loosely introduced the concepts to men (without naming the community, because, we all know how fragile the male ego is). I'm fiery and strong-willed and intelligent enough to not back down from their challenges, but I also use my gentle and caring feminine nature to softly suggest that maybe, just maybe, they benefit from women's physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual labor. It's surprising how many men have taken a step back to think about what I've told them. I've had less success with talking to men, maybe 50%, but it's better than the 0% it was before.

I'm in a good place now, and so it's my duty to do the little bit I can to help change and heal the collective and be there for women who find themselves downtrodden by LVM. Please don't lose hope. Some of us are working for change.

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-07-22T00:18:07+00:00

I ascribe to the sentiment, “Look for the helpers.”

I am consuming media that generally aligns with my own views, and I keep an open mind when viewing new content. I focus on things like FDS, and the women and community we create here. I follow the careers of (and vote for) politicians like Michelle Obama and AOC and Bernie Sanders who put forward ideas of human empathy and societal change. I learn from and consume resources from scholars and educators like Gail Dines and Lundy Bancroft. I subscribe to content creators who are wholesome, or who teach me, or who share experiences like mine, or give me perspectives on lives full of vulnerabilities I don’t face so I can continue to grow (Special Books for Special Kids, Squirmy and Grubs, Vlogbrothers, Kitten Lady, Beatrice Caruso, Simply Nailogical, Ask A Mortician)

I choose to live a life of kindness, without compromising my boundaries in unhealthy ways. I try to exemplify the qualities I hope to see in others, and raise in children in my life like my niece, and my friends kids.

There is good and bad in every society, every government, and every individual person. My goal is always to bring closer the best of what I have available to me and learn from the bad experiences.

flowerpower102938 · 2021-07-22T05:37:06+00:00

I was literally thinking about this yesterday. I'm so angry, so so angry. I can't even imagine the women who have to life in a society where they are raped, murder, abused, disrespected and ridiculed everyday. I am furious. Literally furious.

How I handle this disappointment? I always help women. Even pickmes. For example, some family members of mine are real big pickmes, they are stah mom's. I always go out of my way to help them get work done because their partners and sons don't help them. They will justify why they don't "expect" their partner to help, but honestly they're exhausted and tired, sometimes they just need a break. I try to help them. When talking to slight pick me friends, I ask questions. I find that when I ask questions, their answers give themselves more clarity.

I am lucky enough to be privileged in terms of having a job. It's very important to make your own money. That gives you freedom. So even if you're being constantly let down, you always have a backdoor to move, find something else or ways to improve your life.

NotSoSmartChick · 2021-07-22T04:40:31+00:00

I’m too busy meeting new people to get caught up in the weeds. If someone's a pick me, that’s fine because I’ll be having lunch with a group of ladies the next day, and I’m sure there’ll be a gem in that bunch.

I am very active in a local women's group, actively attending lunches and dinners with women though meetup, and I go out to dance at least once a week with a different meetup group. Plus I am traveling, both with my son and alone, and soon I'm traveling abroad with a group of women, and I’m meeting another group this week to discuss forming yet another travel group.

berrylikeova · 2021-07-21T23:07:40+00:00

Following.

Sisi21cent · 2021-07-22T00:07:35+00:00

People tell me I’m paranoid and too cynical. I just can’t grasp the new reality right in front of my eyes!

heliodrome · 2021-07-22T05:21:44+00:00

Recently I lost a few ponds, but not more than 10 I don’t believe, mostly from running, but it must have toned my body, because I visited home, and every woman friend and relative complimented me on my body. When they asked what I did I told them exactly and turned them unto running, explained which shoes to buy and where, etc. So just spreading the FDS values and I’m proud of all my ladies leveling up always. They are the best.

heliodrome · 2021-07-22T05:18:03+00:00

I spend all my free time with my girlfriends and sometimes we are joined the few of their tolerable husbands 😂 Also - moving back home to Europe soon 😳

Title	Now that FDS is a way of life, how do you live your life not in constant disappointment of society?
Author	dancedancedance83
Upvotes	131
Comments	8
Date	July 21, 2021 11:04 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	/r/askFDS
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/now-that-fds-is-a-way-of-life-how-do-you-live-your.794105 https://theredarchive.com/post/794105
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/op1av3/now_that_fds_is_a_way_of_life_how_do_you_live/