Good day ladies,

I am re-reading Why Men Love Bitches (up to Ch 8), and remember the book rubbed me the wrong way when I was a pick-me. I think I realize what happened. Some parts of the book seem to imply all men are LV/NV and need to be put in their place, as a man almost is guaranteed to disrespect you at some point. I think that's why I mentally disregarded the book.

Now, the author does indeed tell a woman to prioritize herself and walk away when she needs, but a couple of passages hit me a bit wrong. If a man does some of the behaviors she describes (e.g. being mean/disrespectful after acting HV), I feel like I would get the "Ick" and walk away. In my PickMe days, I would get the "ick" after disrespect and try to work it out. I honestly feel I would not be able to even tolerate a fraction of some of the LV nonsense the author describes "in a relationship."

Examples:

  1. "Women often reassure, or try to convince, a man to win him over. But the bitch wins him over by acting as though she could take him or leave him. Therefore, backing off in a subtle way will give your man renewed “pep” in his step."

(My commentary: ok, cool.)

  1. "You can also apply the advice in this chapter: When he seems complacent When he waffles about whether to be in the relationship When he isn’t respectful When he repeatedly ignores what you need"

(If you get in a relationship with a man and he does these things, what is the point?)

  1. The section on how men will use multiple steps for blameshifting, and being less emotional means you are more "dignified" 🤢

  2. "Men view therapy as emotional blackmail"

(so if he has family of origin issues, I'm supposed to not talk about him dumping his feelings on me or whatever because he is not seeing a therapist?)

  1. “Sure, men play cool. Because they think the woman is going to find them more attractive or appealing. I know some guys that check out a woman who isn’t even that beautiful, just to make his girlfriend a little insecure.”

(NVM. Instant ick.)

  1. “I don’t like a woman who doesn’t have a life, or a job. Or messed-up credit. Or an old boyfriend who’s a nut case. I like a woman who is responsible.”

(It's not a woman's fault if her ex is stalking her or acting nutty.)

  1. “The childlike qualities in us [men] propel us to try to take advantage. It’s a good thing to know the woman you love won’t put up with it.”

(I don't want to be with someone who is trying to take advantage of me.).

Maybe I am reading this wrong, but is the author implying even HVM will try to get away with being LVM, even if the woman follows all the book's tactics? I agree with the tactics (walk away, stay busy, dumb fox, letting the man fix things around the house) but I really do not see myself in a good relationship who needs to be "kept in check" to not act shitty (e.g. trying to make me feel insecure). I will walk at the first red flag. Is this a FDS difference from the Why Men Love Bitches book? Are there any other key differences? Again, the strategy is great, but I'm not practicing a poker face for some man to eviscerate me from time to time.