Firstly i just wanted to point out that I recently joined FDS and the amount of understanding and confidence I’ve gained for myself just reading through the subreddit has changed so much of my view of men and how I should live my life, so thank you so much!

I(21f) have been Long Distance dating this guy(20m) for roughly about 5 months now and things have been really well. Except for the fact that he never had trusted me with his location.

For a bit of more context, my boyfriend has a mental illness, schizophrenia which makes him paranoid about telling people his whereabouts, I guess that includes me a long distance girl he’s never seen in person. It started off first when we were on snapchat and I saw his location which he quickly turned off after I pointed it out. Then, when I brought it up again, he seemed extremely nervous and told me it was just a vpn for him to watch stuff in different countries. I thought it was pretty weird because usually I think a reason like that, youd pick a country where shows are actually more full in variety not a random small country.

A little while passed as I tried not to let it bother me too much. But the issue came up again because we were discussing gifts (as most LDR do). I had asked him multiple times for his address so I could send him things and buy him food, to which he always avoided or would give me an address of a family member from a different country, and said hed go to pick up my gift from there. After just being fed up, I asked him for us to have a serious talk, as I don’t get why it’s so difficult to send an address to someone you’ve known for almost a year(a year because I’m including the months we were just friends). With a different excuse from the last time he explains to me that he feels uncomfortable having gifts sent to him because then they’ll be expecting a gift back Again, I just let it slide.

This just kept happening until recently I brought it up and this time i spoke straightforward asking him if he was hiding something and why did he feel the need to lie. We got into a long conversation about it and our agreement was that he would prove that he was at this particular location that he claimed he was by taking a photo of something only that place would have. I was really satisfied with that and trusted him completely(like a fool). Then, the morning after, I guess guilt ate at him because he came clean about everything. He had been lying to me about his location since the first time we started dating 5 months ago. Apparently he had “left” that location he told me he was at 5 months ago and just couldn’t get around to telling me he wasn’t there anymore because of the paranoid schizophrenia. I wanted to excuse all of this because I can understand that a mental illness can make you do things you don’t want to (especially in this case being paranoid i’ll know his location and come to kill him or something). Although at the same time I’m really confused where the rest of our relationship should head after this. We’re currently just on break until I decide. any opinions on this situation is really appreciated!

Update: Thank you everyone for the responses, I also want to add that over the course of our relationship hes started to take his mental health seriously and is getting treated. I’ve gotten a lot of help clearing my mind. This whole thing has torn me down a lot mentally but I’m working on my self right now and reading through the fds handbook